WTF Fanfiction

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"...What does he mean 'That is my fetish!'?!"

"Nico then earthbends a boulder at Annabeth, smashing her like the pitiful cockroach of blonde hair she is.

'NO, MY CUM BUCKET!!!!' cries Percy misogynistically, 'YOU SHITTY FAG I WILL FUCK YOUR ASS GOOD!!!!'”

"She eased it roughly inside, four inches, five inches, six…soon, almost half the broomstick was inside."

"By now Lucifer was looking more like a lumpy blob than a person. Lima beans had entered his blood stream, his muscles, his skeleton, probably even his very SOUL. He let out some desperate muffled pleas for them to take the funnel out, even offering them advice on how to give the best hand jobs, but it didn’t work. They kept pumping him with lima beans."

"Loki, unable to control his second wave of pleasure, came for no apparent reason, causing his enchanted sunscreen to splatter all over Thor’s golden locks."

”’Oh my GOD! The heartbreak! It’s happening all over again!’ Jake exploded into werewolf form and ran out out of the church, leaving behind his one true love, Hannah Montana.”

""Yes, die you fucking cis scum!" quacked Elsa devilfully like a filfthy harpy vulture carrion bird of Paracelsian madness."

"Then something happened. The collective love of Mumble and Mac Ready formed a divine pink light that washed Anatarctica, and all Things frozen in the ice, wandering around as dogs with french tits or licking and assimilating elephant seals all caught fire and incenerated, the divine fire of love enough to destroy the black hearted aliens of Buddha. They were instantly were reduced to nothing but crisped cells, and then carcinogenic atoms that drifted in the wind, blown to far away lands of child prostitution and capitalism, causing stomachal cancers in John Carpenter. Mumble and Mac Ready proved the world that love triumphs darkness, and this a temple to their might was built on Antarctica.”

"It waz starting 2 get hot n tension in here. I hadd 2 ask him finaly : ‘Y wuld you hav 2 keep me awayy from Edward Culln ?’ I askkd intrriigd. ‘I alrdy kno he’s vampyre, but sexxy n gud, ryhte?’ .. Jacob Nighthwka Black waz opening his mouth 2 sya sumthing, wen suddenlly… WE HERD ND FELTT THE VAN SHAKEE ! I heldd myselff tihhgly agnsnt him„ he waz unnaturalyy warm We coulnt see wut wz outside tha Van cuz the windaws wer coverd with snow ! 'Stayy cloose too me Kikilaa !' He ylld . And den… we heardd a sqeacking noize …it came frm the backk 0of the Vaan ! Me n my neww cool firend turnd our heaads towards da backk window …AND WE SAW… A BIG BRIIGHTT MOON , ,IT WAZ EDWARD … he waz moonning us witt his ppale white sexy ass upp agnst the winndow , all da while lauhging Maniiacally !1!”

"The kitchen was beautiful. Painted a bright crimson, the shelves were neatly organized with various breads, spices, and poultry. It reminded Soos of home. The chefs were cooking stew and sandwiches. ‘Hello, young man, you look hungry,’ one of them said, holding out a plate of pasta. This is what Soos thought he was seeing. In reality, Soos was covered head to toe in sewage and maggot-filled table scraps. What he thought was a waitress was actually a dead rat. He had gone totally bonkers. He accepted the raccoon bones which he thought was spaghetti and chomped down. ‘This tastes a little undercooked,’ he thought as his teeth shattered.”

"Velmna rolled over and went on top of Klonoa. He aimed the vibrator towards Velma’s anus and turned on the vibration. Good thing the batteries were full. He put it up Velma’s ass and she yelped in pleasure. ‘Oh… Kloano, you sure know how to use that thing.’ she said as Klonoa rubbed the vibrator against her anal walls. Klonoa moved the vibrator further… further… until he was fisting Velma with the vibrator in his hand. At the same time he was fiddling his fist around her ass, he was still fucking her pussy. ‘Velma, your pussy takes me to paradise.’ he said."

"Then something happened. The collective love of Mumble and Mac Ready formed a divine pink light that washed Anatarctica, and all Things frozen in the ice, wandering around as dogs with french tits or licking and assimilating elephant seals all caught fire and incenerated, the divine fire of love enough to destroy the black hearted aliens of Buddha. They were instantly were reduced to nothing but crisped cells, and then carcinogenic atoms that drifted in the wind, blown to far away lands of child prostitution and capitalism, causing stomachal cancers in John Carpenter. Mumble and Mac Ready proved the world that love triumphs darkness, and this a temple to their might was built on Antarctica.”

"Arendelle is a very sad and disgusting land, representing everything Europe stands for. It is governed by two evil women whore lesbian incestual princesses, the older of which has cryokinetic magical powers of Satan, who uses them to bring decadence and lust to her whore nation and then take over the world with her army of feminist water elemental warrior lesbians, it is a Gomorrah completly full of free women and homosexuals and not MRA bisexual men who tame their desires to not opress fellow men, so I was very MAD. Plus there’s rumours of evil abominatory creatures like a snowman with a penis for a nose that penetrates men’s asses and objectifies them, when only women should be objectified and treated like objects, or trolls who teach of love and empathy, concepts that MUST be eradicated in other to bring equality for men."