How Do You Think Your Family Influenced You?

So, I spun this off from a minor derail I unintentionally caused in another thread.

Everyone has some sort of ideals/values/beliefs/whatever, right? That's how the world goes 'round. And, as any Psychology and/or Sociology 101 student will tell you, the family is the biggest influence on how one turns out in life, socially and economically.

Therefore, I ask you, the tropers of OTC, how you think your home life and the opinions and views of your parents influenced how you think, either in general or on specific issues.

And discuss.

Edit: Ignore the title typo, I'll ask to get it fixed. >_<

Edit 2: Fixed.

edited 16th Dec '11 4:53:14 PM by USAF713

I am now known as Flyboy.

My general stance on any given issue is to research it myself and derive my own opinion, rather then borrow that of a family member.

I would not be a good judge of how my family has influenced me, I think. Still developing.

Hmmm...

It would be hard to say. I definetly don't share any of the political views of my mother, and even though my father is a Labour voter, I'm a bit to the left of him.

I think I inherited my parents' work ethic though, and their standards and expectations of other people.

Also, I remember the Psych term for this: "Socialisation".

edited 16th Dec '11 5:23:00 PM by Inhopelessguy

My great-grandfather was a fanatic Nazi who sometimes tried to influence me by telling me his well... thoughts.

My dad always told him to cut that shit out though. And I always tried to muster up the courage to tell him exactly what I think of his thoughts. Never did it. I'm a coward... -_-

edited 16th Dec '11 5:33:10 PM by kay4today

@kay,

Eh, don't feel bad. One of these days, when I'm out of college and old enough to be taken seriously in my own right by my parents—or at least, my mom; I don't think my dad will be alive by then—I think I'll have to tell them exactly how I feel about a lot of their views.

As for me, I grew up in a... laxly Catholic, but extremely socially conservative environment. I grew up hearing things like "all the... [African Americans] just steal things and shoot people; you don't see white people doing that!" and "poor people are lazy trash!" and "the simplest solution to the prisons is to shoot everyone in them. No exceptions."

It was, in hindsight, quite terrible to hear my parents (and my grandparents) talk about how "bring them [African Americans] over [as slaves] was the worst mistake this country ever made!" My father's mom, a Mexican immigrant, is somewhat more generous, having more experience with actual poverty, though she still disapproves heavily of things like welfare and is still oxymoronically racist against black Americans despite being a Mexican-American herself and thus discriminated against, as well.

I always hated that, the racism. If nothing else, it's going to be the singular thing I tell my parents off for until the day they (or I, whichever comes first) die.

I had a brief flirtation with fundamentalism, specifically of a Catholic variety. That lasted perhaps up until the 6th Grade (mid-late elementary school, or about 10-11 years old), when I began to question the ideas presented in Catholicism and ended up dropping the idea entirely in favor of agnostic theism. I never quite let go of the idea of a god, but my views are so far detached from Catholicism today that it would be quite dishonest to claim any real connection to the faith.

I also remember growing up as quite the homophobic little fucker, and I grew up around quite a bit of anti-homosexual drivel. I've gotten to the point where I've dispelled most thoughts like that, and as of recently I'm trying to improve further, having found that I'm still kind of bad about it.

I think, all things considered, that it's fair to say that my home life wasn't conducive to good moral principles. I still hold some latent ideas about crime and (capital) punishment from my parents, though, as one can see, I manage to be far less extreme about it than they were. From the reactions of people here (and elsewhere...), I am apparently still quite the extremist about it, though. I guess I've just never questioned it. Nobody ever explained, really, how I could be wrong (or, possibly, right). Perhaps someone will, eventually.

I do know that my parents gave me a subtle but distinct disdain for unions, as well, due to their background. My patriotism also comes primarily from my dad, who, as a first generation immigrant (he and his mom came to the US at the same time), is particularly loving of his country. I have slightly more substance behind my views (he's kind of a flag-waver), but...

...

And there's my droning editorial for the day.

TL;DR: I came from a bigoted fundie background, I have marginally improved since then, and I'm still working on it.

edited 16th Dec '11 5:49:05 PM by USAF713

I am now known as Flyboy.

I don't think I share the religious convictions of my parents.

Both are deeply religious, and I'm... not so much.

I think, up until I was about 13 or 14, I was relatively like my mother; homophobic, socially conservative, anti-welfare, anti-union, hard on punishment and disapproving of mixed-race couples.

I held none or little of the views of my rather centrist father, funnily enough.

Possibly the influence of my peers, and the realisation that one could form one's own opinions made me the exact political opposite of my mother.

I think, also unlike my parents, I don't feel as strongly attached to Bangladesh as they are, but I'm far more attached to Britain than my mother, at the least, if not my father.

Like USAF and Kay, I will definetely give my mother an earful when I grow up.

From a psychological point of view, it's not surprising that one has formed a similar opinion (at least, in early childhood) to a primary attachment figure. Socialisation suggests that emulation of an already existing figure (i.e. your parents) would be beneficial to the success of yourself; they've got these views, and they've lived to reproduce (duh), if you have a similar viewpoint, then your chances of survival to reproduction is much greater.

edited 16th Dec '11 6:03:21 PM by Inhopelessguy

@USAF

Thanks. You're an admirable person. Did you ever try to talk to them about all of this?

@Hopey

Good luck with that. I can't tell my great-grandfather anything anymore though. He died a few months ago...

And, I've told them off for the racism before. Their reaction was varied. My dad was like "bluh... what? I'm not racist! [He didn't say this, but for context's sake] I just said that all the Asians deserved what they got in World War II!" and my mom was like, "so what, it's the truth."

~sigh~

:/

I am now known as Flyboy.

@ Kay. Oh, man. I'm sorry about that.

I tried telling my mother she's wrong, in subtle ways, but I'll probably tell her when I leave university.

@USAF

What term did he use? Well... you didn't expect a different reaction, did you?

@Hopey

Good idea. Calling her out while living with her might lead to complications...

And there's no need to be sorry. Can't say that I liked him... I mean he was nice to me and all, but hearing him gloat about how he enjoyed bombing England during Operation Steinbock was well... unpleasant.

Value-wise, I'm fairly similar to my parents, that being moderate-Democrats. Most issues, I agree with my parents and my grandparents; I'm more liberal on gay rights and more conservative on gun ownership.

Entertainment-wise, I have a lot in common with my dad and very little with my mom. My dad's the one who got me into reading sci-fi and fantasy to start with, giving me Asimov, Xanth, Zelazny, and others to read and taking me to Star Trek conventions as a kid.*

He's also the one who introduced me to Weird Al and Doctor Demento. Growing up, I only listened to country or classical music aside from my dad's occasional weird music, and I still like them though my musical tastes have broadened since then. My mom has frequently chastized me for "not reading something useful instead of that dragons and spaceship tripe".

Behavior-wise, I recognize I have some of my mom's more annoying habits - I'm quietly nosy, I tend towards passive-agressive behavior and loud shouting when I'm mad. I've gotten better. Unlike my dad, I don't have addiction issues and I'm certainly not afraid of hard work or commitment, but I do mostly have his sarcastic sense of humor and enjoyment of parodies.

I'm pretty sure I've ranted elsewhere on this forum on how I've been mistreated by extended family because of who my parents are, so I won't go into it now. But I've gone about two years without any contact with my mother, and I prefer it that way. I'm sure if I didn't at least occasionally make a point to e-mail or call my father and brother, I could do the same with them; my family is not very good at communicating.

That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw

I tend not to have the same political opinions as my parents. They tend to be moderate-right wingers (At least my mom is, I have no idea what my dad labels himself politically) and I identify myself as an Libertarian with some Socialism mixed in.

On the other hand I tend to be less bothered by jingoism, homophobia and anti-leftism. Simply because I got used to it and I don't even want to bother arguing it. Even if it is wrong to not argue about it.

"If there is a hole then it's a man's job to thrust into it" - Ryoma from New Getter Robo

@kay,

I will not dignify the term by repeating it.

I am now known as Flyboy.

This.

I consider myself a pale reflection of my mom; I see my faults in her, but she's blissfully unaware of her 'failings'; so who's happier, eh? Our shared traits, such as social blunderings and naiveté, are more exaggerated in mom's case.

Annoyingly, her positive traits never rubbed off on me. I've observed her kindhearted and compassionate nature, and it has done her no good. I'm a pleasant guy myself, but I felt she took pleasantness to extremes; utter shock at people being rude to her, and simmering resentment that the world doesn't return her kindness 100% of the time.

She also has shown admirable determination in the face of constant failure. As a cautionary tale, I learned never to try anything.

edited 16th Dec '11 10:43:14 PM by johnnyfog

I'm a skeptical squirrel

My family is much more liberal and cosmopolitan than average Russian family. My current beliefs do not exactly match theirs, but I appreciate the fact that it was them who allowed me to develop my own preferences in the first place.

Also, my tastes in music, movies, literature and other entertainment almost exactly mirror that of my brother, because it was him who exposed me to most of the media.

As far as behaviour is concerned, I remind my uncle more than my mother. With mother we are...somewhat of an opposites, with her being better.

I can't help feeling inferior compared to my family. They are smart, confident, driven, with Ph.D degrees and quite decent jobs. I am... a black sheep, a failure.

edited 17th Dec '11 1:19:11 AM by Beholderess

If we disagree, that much, at least, we have in common

Truth be told, I don't really think I'm anything like them at all.

And let us pray that come it may (As come it will for a' that)

A lot...basically I've been the opposite of what my parents is trying to influencing me in several ways...that includes religion...although that's was also a case with my own discovery,but my mom's view that humans can't be moral without religion is totally abhorrent to me (she's buddhist...I was once too but I'm now nonreligious)...or facing a heck of an authoritarian mother, I've became high anti-authority...or mom being a right-winger and me being central-left...

Although some of the relatives said that some of things I am is quite like my late father...but a lot of things I believe right now came after my dad died...and before that, my believe in several things are like my mom and dad...

Then again, influence is influence, no matter positive or negative...

edited 17th Dec '11 5:13:59 AM by onyhow

Give me cute or give me...something?

I was influenced by my parents in the sense that my father is a prime example as to why I don't want to bother with financial trading, as the whole Wall Street bubble caused problems with my naive yet cranky father, and my mother influenced me in the sense that his example is one to avoid. My brother's probably influenced me most out of all my family members, since he was the one who taught me how to get taste in movies before the internet helped me out with that further.

Australia is not really a nation of self-importance, at least I hope. As a result, a lot of people born here tend to be kind of shy if they're not boisterous party people. I don't think a lot of people my age are very politically active, I'm less apathetic than cynical about our state of affairs here. I'm less un-religious as wary of the dangers of going too overboard with it, specifically with Dad who did a lot of business with "Christian stockbrokers" who screwed him over, which makes me distrust institutions rather than more tangible things like the body of work Osamu Tezuka left behind after he died, which I discovered myself.

Hell Hasn't Earned My Tears

I grew up in a comfortable, liberal, middle-class household (although it was situated in Tory heartland). Didn't have much to rebel against, really, as far as religion and politics are concerned. My parents are both atheists, though my mother was more agnostic with some Christian influences until she decided the whole shebang was a crock of shit. In my mid-teens I was an extremely militant atheist (I believe that was largely because of the internet, in all honesty) and it's only in recent years that I managed to tone that down. As far as politics goes, I think their tendency to vote Liberal Democrat (largely pointless in a solidly Tory county) has rubbed off on me.

With cannon shot and gun blast smash the alien. With laser beam and searing plasma scatter the alien to the stars.

I inherited a lot of my family values, yes. But considering they're pretty moderate (agnostic and Liberal) for Canada, it's not too interesting.

If you don't like a single Frank Ocean song, you have no soul.

My mother is a very kind, giving woman, to the point of being an Extreme Doormat at times, and while I'm nowhere near as kind and giving as her, when I do help someone out, I react the same way when I let someone down: With a lot of self inflicted guilt.

I've have also learnt not to trust anybody (IRL, at least), thanks to my good ol' grandmother.

What did your grandmother do...?

I am now known as Flyboy.

I don't think my family has influenced me much, but my personality isn't such that it would. The most they've influenced me is taking me to church and raising me as a Christian, which lead me to becoming a Christian, which I probably would have anyway.

Borne By Storms

Honestly, I actively try not to be like either of my parents. I don't hate them, it's that I don't think they way they are is how I should be.

something

My family have influenced me enormously. My parents went to great lengths to teach me to read and write when I was very young, giving me a headstart on my peers and a love of learning that stays with me to this day. They raised me and my sister well and gave us everything we needed, though not everything we wanted and this was for the best. On top of that there's my family's long tradition (on both sides) of service in the forces or emergency services. Things were a bit difficult between us in my teens, but they're meant to be. I had some problems talking to them after I left the military, but I had problems talking to everyone then, as I...wasn't very well, shall we say? Things have got better, though, over the last few years and are getting better still now that my wife has come along and is keen to form one big, happy family out of our two, very different, houses.

'All he needs is for somebody to throw handgrenades at him for the rest of his life...'