I'd like to get your guys' opinion on a piece of fiction called the All Guardsmen Party. At heart it's the campaign write-up of a bunch of people playing Dark Heresy, but it's grown into a fairly large piece of stand-alone fiction.
The tale's been grabbing a fair amount of attention on a few message boards and I was wondering if it was something you folks would be interested in it.
Here's a link, http://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/2nysgn/
I'm a little weak on the etiquette around here, let me know if this should be moved or flat-out isn't welcome here.
Well, I figure I should show the initial draft, that might be conducive to help.
What would Sanguinius do? The Great Angel would not look upon a suffering human woman with disdain, he knew that much. While the Silverites raged outside and waged their fruitless war, he could not send her home.
And finally she arrived. It appeared she had something held behind her back, as if to surprise him. She was Shandra, and even though he had given up any romantic notions, he could still appreciate her beauty.
"R-Randon...you really have changed a lot, since you left. Please..." She held out something that made Randon's eyes widen. The Snow Rose, a rare white rose that reportedly only grew in certain places once in a hundred years. She got that. For him. And despite that, he still could not bring himself to look at her romantically. "...Take this token, of my affection."
Tis a grave sin for Astartes such as I and mortal women to couple. I cannot be what she desires. I need only defend this planet, and attain glory so as to advance ever forward.
"Tobias told you, did he not?" Randon started, though he was unsure how this would finish. "I am Astartes, the Emperor's Angel of Death. I can no longer be what you want for..."
She looked down, as if confused by him now, "Randon, I meant to ask at your return...why are you speaking in such a way?"
He did not want to hurt her. By The God-Emperor, he wanted her to be happy. He just knew now he could not be with her. Why did she fixate upon him? "Tis as I said, things have changed. Listen, Shandra, I keep you here for your safety, but not for anything else. Do not endanger yourself in such silly quests ag—-"
He felt a very light ache in his cheek. She slapped him. And despite everything, he could not blame her for that. She was crying now. He now admitted, he felt horrible for bringing her to this. "L-Listen...I am deeply sorry I said that."
She sobbed in front of him, shaking in the knees, "Am I nothing to you but a silly distraction? A pathetic human not worthy of you?"
What an utterly callous thing to say - he decided that, consequences be damned, he had to do something to assuage her hurt feelings. He reminded himself before proceeding - light, light as the touch of an angel's feather - and so he wrapped her in his arms, letting her have the closeness she craved if only for a moment. "Listen, as a Blood Angel, I struggle with a terrible Thirst. If you persist in this, I may lapse in control and...I might hurt you. And I don't want that."
She whispered in his ear, not crying any more, thank the Emperor, "Thank you, Randon. And I am sorry. For everything. You must despise me, for distracting you from your purpose and tempting you to dark extents."
He released her from his arms, "I cannot love you in a romantic sense, but I could not ever despise you. Rest assured, Lady Shandra, I will protect you and everyone else, from the Silverites and anything else."
edited 23rd Jan '15 10:35:30 PM by NickTheSwing
Behold, a comment chain I noticed on Youtube:
it shouldnt be about emperor, he has too much ego and power etc. it needs to be "ordinary" space marine and chaos gods are sexy high school girls and there needs to be beautiful sisters of battle and also some deamonettes and cute guardsmen girls.
this is the best idea i've heard in a long while, but you forgot that his Chaptermaster would be a girl pretending to be a Space Marine and be all over him, too
If warp shenanigans are involved I can see something along the lines of episodes 2 and 4 of Heaven's Lost Property happening to a female guard platoon. For those who haven't seen that show (most I'll assume) that means flying, exploding panties that migrate like fucking birds.
You probably forget about Adeptus Sororitas eyeing His Majesty with delirium eyes.
Don't forget the Tsundere Eldar Banshee that starts as an enemy and ends up getting a crush on the Space Marine after he saves her life. "I-it's not like I like you or anything, s-stupid Monkeigh!"
How about “Doki Doki Heresy”? main characters are chaos god. muscle-headed work-out handsome dude khorne, dirty, nerdy nurgle, geeky but cutie tzeentch and finally, school queen slaanesh.
Basic story is, u play tzeentch. And your goal is get slaanesh as your girl friend. But! there's a big rival. The Khorne. The muscle-headed, work-out handsome dude.
My Little Sister of Battle Shouldn't Be This Heretical
Khorne's too kawaii to live, too sugoi to die.
My fellow tropers, I seek your counsel. Could this actually work?
Chaotic Greedy
It's hilarious, at least.
"And as long as a sack of shit is not a good thing to be, chivalry will never die."
More hilarious than If The Emperor Had A Text To Speech Device?
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
I came across this funny story via FanficRecs.Warhammer 40000. It's a must read, IMO.
A silly idea. While battling his way through Horus' flagship, the Emperor gets caught in a Warp vortex - courtesy of Tzeench, of course - that launches him forward in time ten thousand years.
What happens?
edited 10th Jun '15 12:23:11 PM by amitakartok
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
... Uh, is there still a practically dead Emperor on the Golden Throne when this time-displaced Emperor arrives?
edited 10th Jun '15 1:31:38 PM by MarqFJA
Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus.
The future of warfare in UC.
Yeah, uh, if the Emperor doesn't confront Horus, shit's kinda fucked...and the Astronomican is necessary to the survival of the Imperium.
Nous restons ici.
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Yes. Either the Warp rift somehow copied the Emperor and left one behind, or the Emperor later went back to the same time and place, pretending that nothing happened.
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
Or this Emperor went into a separate timeline. Of course, unless he eventually returns to his original timeline right after the same point he left, it's fucked.
Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus.
Don't underestimate Tzeench. The Emperor can still mount the Golden Throne even without physically being present to do so, causality be damned.
The Showrunner of Dzwiedz 24
So I'm reading All Guardsmen Party and laughing like mad often enough to consider setting up a CMOF page for it.
Among others, for the Ramming Always Works trick from "Xenotech Heresy".
"what the complete, unabridged, 4k ultra HD fuck with bonus features" - Mark Von Lewis
Fanfic idea I had talking on the WH 40 K thread: The main character is an very pre-heresy soldier (probably from Interex) who was cryogenically frozen (or something) and ends up in the 41st Millenium, and has to survive in the grimdark future.
edited 11th Mar '16 7:54:48 PM by Protagonist506
"Any campaign world where an orc samurai can leap off a landcruiser to fight a herd of Bulbasaurs will always have my vote of confidence"
I doubt anyone in the Imperium alive today even knows what the Interex were.
Makes sense. IIRC, history before the Horus Heresy is really fuzzy for the Imperium. This guy wouldn't know much about the Imperium either (at first; he eventually starts figuring things out).
The last thing he might remember would be fighting the Luna Wolves or something like that, anyway.
In fact, he might even still carry the assumption that the Imperium is aligned in some manner with Kaos; which would feed into him distrusting the Imperium. He'd also probably assume Tyranids are related to the Megarachnids in some manner.
What I'm thinking will happen is that he's awoken by Imperials (possibly space marines) aboard a Space Hulk. After some conversing with them, they're attacked by genestealers (or something) and through dumb luck, he manages to survive and escape on a small craft all alone.
edited 12th Mar '16 9:14:57 AM by Protagonist506
"Any campaign world where an orc samurai can leap off a landcruiser to fight a herd of Bulbasaurs will always have my vote of confidence"
Other random idea:
The main character at one point declares "Those Luna Wolves were the worst. I bet they've caused all sorts of trouble by now."
"Any campaign world where an orc samurai can leap off a landcruiser to fight a herd of Bulbasaurs will always have my vote of confidence"
Another, unrelated idea for a fanfiction: A Biography of the God-Emperor, specifically what he was doing long before he had revealed himself.
"Any campaign world where an orc samurai can leap off a landcruiser to fight a herd of Bulbasaurs will always have my vote of confidence"
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
Speaking of which...
Anyone's got more crack ideas like this?
Cooking?
There's one fanfic about a Space Marine chapter called the Burger Marines who serve fast food to the whole Imperium. Even for their enemies. And they also have an archenemy; a Chaos Space Marine chapter called the Vegetarian Marines.
40K, IMO, is one of the best settings to parody, because it's an entire setting made out of Comically Serious.
"Any campaign world where an orc samurai can leap off a landcruiser to fight a herd of Bulbasaurs will always have my vote of confidence"
Finally found my notes and my character sheets.
And did enough work to really know the verse. Now, on to work.
Working on a scene - one of the protagonists, Randon, has just returned from Baal as a Blood Angel, stationed to his old home planet due to his familiarity with some of the odder locales. However, he has to also deal with a young woman who's had the whole "childhood friend" thing going for him, and now that she's an older teenager, she really, really likes him. And due to some particularities regarding this planet, there's very little they know about Space Marines.
So Randon, basically a Nice Guy who really has the Emotional Bruiser thing down, has to try to explain to her that things have changed too much - he's functionally an asexual Space Marine now, and he cannot be what she wants him to be. However, he feels he cannot just brush her off coldly or ignore her. I am trying to write a way for Randon to be basically as nice as possible telling her that he and her just cannot be a thing.
And no, this isn't just a trivial early plot point. Randon's old friend in question comes up later in a much more serious development.
edited 19th Jan '15 11:03:08 PM by NickTheSwing