Classy up a meme

Being a husband who has to give up his wife for someone else is—

Why don't you stop talking and evacuate this place right now, Joseph? I am going to take your beloved married partner away from you and have sexual relations with her right now!

edited 30th Nov '17 5:56:34 AM by TroperNo9001

A diminutively sized pastry that has been rolled together in a circular shape and flavored with a mixture of crystalized sucrose and the powdered bark of the Cinamonium tree

smol cinnamon roll

edited 28th Aug '17 12:28:02 AM by Zanreo

How unfortunate, my computer programs have malfunctioned! All my digital information has vanished! But I had possession of a program designed specifically to prevent such an occurrence!

Oops, my system crashed! I lost all my data! But I had an antivirus!

When not a single person was observing, Alexander Joseph Luthor absconded with forty baked pastries. He absconded with forty baked pastries. That is the equivalent of four tens. And that is truly abhorrent.

Understand, the being named 'Tamatoa' did not always possess such a bewitching state
In days long past, I was a dull and uninspiring, miniscule individual of the species birgus latro
At this point, I am certain in the knowledge that I can enter of a state of ecstacy comparable to that of an edible infaunal bivalve
As I can be described as attractive, human infant!

Perchance, did the mother of either of your parental units instruct you to heed the words of your primary cardiovascular muscle?
Strive to become the version of yourself that exists within you?
I require only a short trio of linguistic units to rend her rhetoric into pieces;
The mother of either of your parental units deceived you with false words!
I would much prefer to be

Radiant!
In a manner similar to lost valuables contained within a capsized vessel once boarded by seafaring criminals
Apply a thorough wash to the external floorboards of the nautical vessel, and give it the appearance of being

Radiant!
I shall proceed to reflect light in a way not dissimilar to the nape of a human female possessing great wealth
Pause for exactly one unit of the time that elapses during 9,192,631,770 cycles of the radiation produced by the transition between two levels of the cesium 133 atom.

Are you not aware
Piscine lifeforms are severely lacking in intellect, severely lacking in intellect, severely lacking in intellect
They pursue any object that reflects light in an aesthetically appealing manner (greenhorns!)
And now they converge upon our location, converge upon our location, converge upon our location
The location of the most luminescent object that reflects light in an aesthetically appealing manner!
Delicious, evening meals consisting primarily of piscine meat!

I am simply enamoured with nourishment that does not require any expense on my part!
And you greatly resemble any food product derived from marine life!

Ah, what an observance
The small being called 'Maui' cannot maintain a consistent and appealing visual appearance
You miniscule, partial, half, miniature divine being
Yelp of pain! What an inadequate and embarassing display
Retrieve the long rod with a sharp curved end! (do you understand the reference?)
You do not oscillate your weapon at the same level you did in a previous encounter, male hominid.

However, I must give appropriate attribution to you for the beginning of my new life
And the subcutaneous ink that runs across your external form
For, in a manner not unlike yourself, I have transformed my body into an expression of creative skill
I will never obfuscate myself; I am incapable of such; I am overabundantly

Radiant!
Observe as I reflect light much like crystallized carbon atoms buried within coarse materials
Parade around my possessions, my possessions are unequivocally

Radiant!
Send armed forces to assault me, but they will be found lacking
My chitinous armor is impenetrable to any form of attack

Maui, you male humanoid
You may attempt, attempt, attempt
But it is inconviecable to anticipate that a partial divine being could defeat an arthropod bearing ten ambulatory appendages (turn to an available resource to learn the meaning of that phrase!)

You will expire, expire, expire
It is now the hour at which I shall disassemble
Your pained cardiovascular organ

Located a considerable distance from the beings who rejected you
Pursuing the affection of these homo sapiens
Who caused you to feel as though your presence was desirable
You attempt to be rigid and unbreaking
However, your external protection does not meet the required standard of durability!

Maui!
It is now an appropriate time for me to forcefully apply one of my ambulatory appendages to your
posterior!
Have you ever borne witness to a being that is this

Radiant!
Fully absorb this sight, for you shall not be granted another in the foreseeable future
That is simply the nature of life, my amicable acquaintance
I am very much

Radiant!
I shall now nourish myself upon your flesh, so you would do well to prepare yourself for one last argument on sparing your life
For my auditory organs alone
You will never match my degree of being
Radiant
You desire to match my degree of being pleasant and
Radiant!

I, the guardian of your computer, am generally know by the name Proto. My service in life is to guard your devices, that is my catchphrase.

I shall come to possess an industrially produced combusted blade of tuberculae and direct it by the primal step of its consumption by my digestive system!

The period of time following the present, however, has turned down the decision to alter itself.

But the future refused to change.

There is, however, the slight probability of this specific individual cultivating affection for those of their same biological gender. That being said, I ought to further my investigation upon this certain subject.

(onomatopoeia of getting cardiac arrest)

Haha, this game, known as originally Danganronpa, is now called Dongorongo, or something equally as silly!

I take actions to prevent the annihilation of your computer's digital memory, rescuing you from the wrath of your superior officer.

Bump.

"My friends, I am earnestly famished at the moment."

"Salutations, this is the pizzeria. What would you desire to order?"

"Allow me to order a... pizza without a skeletal structure, and a... container designed to hold 2 liters of a carbonated beverage."

"What sort of pizza is that? ...Also, the device used to dispense 2 liters of a carbonated beverage is not currently functioning. We do, however, have a device for 1 liter of such a beverage."

"What do you mean, good sir? ...Very well, please give me a pizza with no components of a skeletal structure."

"I do not understand. Pizza does not contain any components of a skeletal system."

"What words did I just utter, then?"

"You declared: I would like it to not contain any components of a skeletal system. As if pizza contains any dratted skeletal components."

"In that case, do you and your company place skeletal components within your comestibles?"

"Of course not!"

"Then what is the dilemma?"

"Scoundrel! List one example of a pizza that contains skeletal components."

"Simply do not place those abominations into my pizza, good sir. How many times must I inform you?"

"Good sir, just explain to me how on Earth a pizza can have a skeletal system removed from it?"

"If the pizza does not contain skeletal components, it is absent of a skeletal system."

"Sir, which institution of education did you attend?"

"My friend, I do not see what the difficulty is. Simply make my comestibles without a skeletal system. Earnestly."

"I earnestly refuse to prepare this pizza for you."

edited 6th Sep '17 2:10:32 PM by DrNoPuma

"Alas! The inner machinations of my computational device have ceased involuntarily, and the information within has been rendered beyond recovery. Yet I employed a program designed to snuff out the actions of the computor virus implied to have caused this!"

"Your bog-standard programs for repelling and stomping out computer viruses are inadequate. You require Protegent brand antivirus software, the only one of its kind currently in existence that can recover lost data files in the event of a sudden cessation of your computer's functions."

Let your mind wander beyond the boundaries of ordinary virus protection software. Let it wander into the realm of Protegent antivirus software.

Woe is me, for I have thrice begat children but have no financial means with which to provide for them! Why could I not have avoided siring heirs and instead focused thrice on obtaining wealth?

By what method do I ejected arachnid silk product?

Such amazement, materfamilias rapist.

Surprise, motherfucker.

Hark, for it is a timeframe most opportune to immediately cease all activities! Tell me, what is the exact current position of your progenitors, young one? And by so, their indentities? My word... I must come to contact a state organization of proper sanctuary of such youngsters! Cease all activities!

Back when I used to attend classes in my previous educational institution, my class was never given permission to (insert dangerous course of action related to today's extraordinary educational tour)!

I am a large individual who identifies as male!

Me me big boy!

My name is Proto, and the security of your computer is my given word and main concern. Please implement me as a program in your device to safeguard your files and information better.

A particular personage had one time uttered to me that this planet will conquer me; with this, a metaphor was also said, hinting that I was of inadequate intelligence.

She appeared to display a low level of intelligence; as she had her index finger and her thumb arranged into the shape of the twelfth letter of the alphabet — near the area that houses the frontal section of the human skeletal and nervous system.

edited 8th Sep '17 11:41:10 AM by ActualBeatrice

Zounds, child! From whence did thou discover the object currently being presented?

Dayum, son! Where'd ya find this?

edited 8th Sep '17 12:06:11 PM by DankyCroodle

Which individual has caused me a vast amount of inconveniences, ever since his debut appearance in a popular arcade game released in 1981?
Descending into each large, tubular structure, despite his rotund physique?
Who shall shortly flee in horror, while simultaneously uttering loudly, "My mother!" in Italian?
Who causes me to become dismal and gloomy? Oh, what redeeming qualities does Princess Toadstool Peach find within him?
Mario!
With feelings of immense pleasure in the organ controlling my cardiovascular system, on every occasion that I view the popular series of racing video games starring Mario.
You are ahead of all your opponents and succeeding, however, the protective outer structure of a Testudines, covered with sharp thorns, is approaching! Ha ha ha ha!
Now, at last, you and your deformed lagomorph companions have reached your last moments
Simply allow me to resume inhaling and exhaling in a normal fashion, and I shall destroy you using a C note of a high octave!

Who do you see yourself as? You should bow before me, for I am the most prominent performer!
You are simply a comedic imitation, I will secure you a fitting role in a play that does not have a happy ending!
"'Tis I", "Let us begin", the only phrases you can utter!
My exhibition shall affect your young female ruler emotionally,
And you two shall be romantically seperated!
You presume that you will reign victorious in this battle?
I will force you to give up your occupation!
You are not significant enough to warrant a struggle,
Your young female ruler is actually trapped within a completely different fortress!
Toadstools shall not cease your suffering.
This is the moment that I, the Phantom, shall begin my illustrious career!

edited 8th Sep '17 1:55:27 PM by DrNoPuma

THEPHYSICALUNIVERSEOUTSIDEOFEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTTTTTHHHHH!!!!!

SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!

edited 20th Sep '17 5:21:00 PM by burinnu