Whamise this line. A Game.

A demon our heroes having been trying to fight reveals that he's actually best bros with God and he isn't evil at all.

The diaper is full.

A guy picks up a diaper and realizes that it's full of baby piss.

"You trying to shoot me and make it look like an accident?!"

The President of the United States discovers his staff are arranging his death because they like the Vice President more, and they want to make it look like an accident so nobody gets suspicious.

"A Neil Young song was playing on the radio."

The story is about tribulations of people working in a radio station. The current chief manager (whatever they're called in radio stations) hates Neil Young and so his songs are never played on the radio. The characters are driving to work, listening to their station, when they hear the song, meaning that something has happened to the boss.

The lights blinked and died, plunging the room into darkness.

A government facility suspects an hacker has infiltrated the computer for their building. This is proved correct when the lights turn off for no apparent reason.

She wasn't a delivery girl, not at all.

A man sees a Fed-Ex truck visit a neighbor's house. Hours later said neighbor rushes into his house and says the line.

I didn't just mean her.

An assassin that has been pursuing the Final Girl for a few hours is being questioned by the police afterwards. Turns out he had contracts on everyone else, too, and wasn't just clearing out potential witnesses.

Watch out for cobwebs.

edited 7th Jan '16 2:59:49 AM by Inceptiond

The cobwebs were covered in dried blood from the giant spiders living in the cave

"I'll see you at the wedding,"

Heard by a masked hero as his Supervillain arch nemesis escapes him again. Incidentally, his daughter's wedding is in three days.

"Would you care for another glass ?"

edited 7th Jan '16 7:05:15 AM by Westonbirt

A phrase said right after the villain has poisoned our hero.

There's an alligator in my bathtub and it sings and walks on two legs.

Jack has been playing Where's My Water?, when characters from that mobile game start to appear in his real life. Hilarity Ensues.

Waddle On

The heroes are entering the villain's lair while posing as zombies, waddling to avoid attracting attention. At some point, they decide the situation they're getting themselves into is too risky to proceed and decide to go back. This is when the POV - who's at the end of the line - feels a gun at his back and hears this right over his ear.

Darkness, I see darkness!

The big bad has been killing kids who can see the spirits of the dead, due to a prophecy claiming that one of these kids will be the one to kill him. After a long battle, the hero and his friends manage to save the hero's nephew, one of these so-called Seers... but when the kid comes to and says those words, they realize they came too late. The big bad had blinded the kid to make sure he wasn't the Chosen One.

I don't get it. I just don't get it.

edited 12th Jan '16 10:35:51 PM by Aquatica1000

The main characters are led by a guy who is the only one who understands completely what is going on, and right after getting ambushed, the leader freezes up and tearfully admits that he has no idea what is going on.

"The bomb will go off if you don't review that movie."

A movie critic is informed the police that a bomb is strapped to a bus of innocent school children, and the bomber wants him to review a "special movie": the bomber himself raping and killing his nine-year old daughter five years before, a crime that went unsolved until now.

Go hump a table!

The villain says this to the Plucky Comic Relief just before throwing said character into the edge of a nearby table crotch first.

So....apparently, the Amazons and the Valkryies went to war while I wasn't looking.

Oh, you know, just watching the penguins...

edited 8th Apr '17 11:20:29 PM by hellomoto

After fighting off a doppelganger who kills people to steal their faces, the hero hears the above line from their best friend, an arctic explorer.

Could you please be so kind as to tell me, when, exactly, I became a necrophiliac?

edited 4th Feb '16 10:09:55 PM by Sharur

"Could you please be so kind as to tell me, when, exactly, I became a necrophiliac?" Bella said when she finally managed to break Edward's mind control grip on her.

I'm Batman.

A group of thugs had taken a movie theatre hostage. Little did they know who had decided to see a movie that night... Cue Mook Horror Show.

It' a cookbook.

"The Aliens book 'To Serve Man'....it's a cookbook"

(Ok, it's perhaps cheating that this is the actual plot twist of a Twilight Zone episode, but still)

The Penguins have arrived.

edited 5th Feb '16 12:42:36 AM by Protagonist506

After hearing that warmised line: Oh, you know, just watching the penguins... the hero hears glass breaking as the army of flightless birds descends from the skylights on ziplines to avenge there doppelganger master. The hero looks up, glass broken glass bouncing off his shoulders as he takes it and the arctic explorer friend says "The Penguins have arrived."

He fights like a paladin on vodka and painkillers

The heroine of the story recognizes the true identity of The Dragon: her own father, a retired paladin addicted to vodka and painkillers, after one of her companions makes the comment above.

You know, I'm like, you know, an uncle to you

A teenage girl meets a homeless man who she's been friendly with for weeks, and one day he reveals he's her dad's long-lost brother who lost his house when the girl was just a small child.

I'm sorry to break it to you, but I'm stronger. I've been stronger for a long time. I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but right now I can't afford to let you keep doing this.

When the hero, a wizard-in-training sure of his abilities, continues to commit a Heroic Sacrifice by being a Cosmic Keystone, his adopted brother admits that he's in fact a long-lost wizard from times long gone, and takes over the Cosmic Keystone job.

I dare even say it's falling.