Whamise this line. A Game.

The two sides are meeting to negotiate an end to a Robot War, and a junior colonel with a suspicious bulge in his jacket has just shoved his way onto the podium and grabbed the mike.

edited 14th Mar '12 8:47:04 AM by Iaculus

Forgot to give your own Wham Line for the others to work on.

Good point.

"But... I ordered it in blue."

Remember, the idea is to set up a situation that is irrevocably altered by sticking this line on the end.

The protagonist is an apprentice dressmaker who, through a possibly slightly contrived set of circumstances which put her boss out of action, winds up having to make an extremely important (and expensive) dress that her boss was commissioned to produce. At first, she is overwhelmed, but after many farcical goings on, wacky antics, tears, tribulations, and "I believe in you"s, she finally finishes the dress, and it looks gorgeous. She shows it to the customer, only to learn that she used the wrong colour fabric.

And then I said, "Oatmeal? Are you crazy?"

edited 15th Mar '12 10:26:39 AM by BobbyG

A father, hoping to earn enough money to guarentee a good life for his wife and child, gets a job in a major city far away from the family's home. While he is able to visit his family on weekends, the burden of his job severely distances him away from his loved ones. Then, one day, the man wins the lottery. Excited that he no longer has to be separated from his wife and child to give them a good life, he immediately returns back home and tells them the good news. The father imagines that life will return to the blissful state it was in before he left, starting with his son having a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, as it was his favourite meal. But his first day back, when he asks his son how his morning went, he's shocked to hear that the son thought his mother giving him oatmeal for breakfast was crazy. With this statement, it finally dawns on the father that everything changes with time, and he's been away from his family so long that he barely even knows them anymore.

"Individual appliances vary; these are guidelines only."

After lightning struck the home theatre turning it omnicidal maniac, the heroes struggled to read the horrible Engrish instruction manual. The Smart Guy have successfully decrypted it, outlines what they have to do, it'll be a near suicide mission but it should work.

Two minutes after the rest of the team leaves mission control, a stray breeze flips the manual a page revealing "individual appliances vary; these are guidelines only".

"It doesn't matter, I had banana fritters for lunch."

A gorilla that goes into a frenzy upon smelling bananas has escaped from the local zoo, and is causing absolute chaos in a grocery store's produce section. Two experienced animal handlers are called in by the locals to sedate the beast and get it back where it belongs. Before they open the doors to the store, the first man's stomach rumbles. He casually asks his partner if he wants to join him for a snack after the job's done, and after hearing the reply, realizes that this job is going to be a lot more dangerous than he had earlier thought it would be.

"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

This would be the inscription that the villain reads on the McGuffin before being killed.

"What if we just ram it?"

Spoken by one video game character to another after several trying hours of using every rune-powered weapon, every type of magic bolt, and every kind of ballistic explosive in their extensive arsenal trying to break down a flimsy looking wooden door...

Which of course swivels open with nothing more than a soft creak once they try it.

"My dear, I am THE collector."

edited 22nd Mar '12 11:04:21 AM by Zanzibar

The mysterious "collectors" are, we have been led to believe, the villains of the story. The main villain reveals that he is in fact the sole surviving collector - and he's still been running rings around our heroes.

Idiot! Can't you see we're at Gentlemen?

The character speaking this line has been previously characterized as not being able to talk. And he just chose the worst time to reveal this — when the protagonists have currently gotten into serious trouble at a bar called "Gentlemen," a known mob hangout, which has everyone pointing weapons at them.

"This was never about your money."

The character speaking this has been dogging the other's steps for a long time now, ostensibly in hopes of capturing them and stealing their valuable belongings/holding them for ransom. As he's finally cornered, the pursuee offers to pay them anything they want. They proceed to laugh, and then reveal that they're the identical twin of someone the target killed. "This was never about your money."

"The appointment has been scheduled for Tuesday."

"But will you be alive?"

The peace is what all true warriors strive for.

edited 14th Apr '12 4:08:12 AM by Steventheman

"...But I am no true warrior." With that, the sword comes down on the diplomat's neck.

"I hear Arizona is lovely this time of year."

Post-apocalyptic setting. MC gets captured by a roaming gang. Boss of the gang mutters the line above. Some of the denser gang members look perplexed, as it's common knowledge that the place called Arizona is no more.

My blade deserves better prey.

A proud warrior raceBlood Knight is travelling with a Distressed Damsel. She turns her back on him, and he raises his sword to cut her down while saying this line.

It turns out he's supposed to kill her as part of a Blood Oath with the Big Bad.

Let them all burn huh? You don't care what happens to the world right? Well may I remind you that YOU LIVE ON THIS FUCKING WORLD!!! YOU AND THAT GIRL YOU SACRIFICED MILLIONS TO SAVE!!! And now you will die with it. Or get killed by the numerous assassins who know what you did. Have fun.

edited 14th Apr '12 5:23:21 PM by HandsomeRob

Thats not one line. Thats an entire paragraph. I look foreward to seeing who will actually take something that long and specific and turn it into a statement that alters an entire plot or at least an entire scene. I really wanted to try and make it work but the YELLING IN ALL CAPS means i cant control the emotional context, so I leave this in the hands of a more capable author unless i have a breakthrough.

EDIT: Im taking a stab at it.

The plot is a zany adventure in some cracked-out animeland about an Evil Overlord and his wacky band of friends/minions. Earlier in the arc the main character crashed a moon into an alien planet to save his love interest, a Baroness style character who is too ditzy to be an effective villain.

Now he has taken control of the giant flaming sword of the Guardian of Eden, because random Christian things are cool in anime, and hammily declares “THE WORLD SHALL BURN BEFORE ME!” and he starts shooting technicolor death lasers everywhere as he battles his antagonists, a goofy super-team. At that moment his zany jester themed reality-warper comic sidekick negates the protagonists power, dropping him and the other villain-team characters out of the sky where they crash painfully down to the flaming city below.

Suddenly the Jester isn’t laughing, and for the first time in the shows run the “hero” may very well die. As he floats above his former leader the Jester rages.

“I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU! You and your petty villainy. Your inability to appreciate your gifts. Let them all burn huh? You don't care what happens to the world right? Well may I remind you that YOU LIVE ON THIS FUCKING WORLD!!! YOU AND THAT GIRL YOU SACRIFICED MILLIONS TO SAVE!!! And now you will die with it. Or get killed by the numerous extradimensional assassins who know what you did.”

With a sad smile and an ironic shake of his jesters bells he adds “Have fun” and the episode ends.

There, I used everything specified, even if I did throw in a few words of my own.

Actually, that candy was intended for the landlady.

And now serious stuff: This entire sub-forum is a place for writers to learn and grow. So im going to give an example of the Wham Line. It is NOT a random rant (see post above mine) and, while that turned out to be sorta workable, it is best kept short. It doesnt highlight a forgone conclusion, it radically alters a scene or an entire plotline by forcing the audiance to rethink everything leading up to it, casting it in a new light.

My "smack at" the big long line is actually really weak, since its more like the plot of a Wham Episode. Ideally, the line itself is the point where shit gets real. The super-disempowering, the betrayal, the reveal, the heel-face-turn, or whatever happens afterwords, or nothing happens at all, but the audiance realizes what they thought was wrong.

Wham Line Example: Jade Empire. You fight your way to the palace. You kill the god-emporer. Your old master is there. He approaches you and says "Your abilities have grown immensely. But it also does my heart good to see that you have remembered the basics of what I taught you... even the flaws." and then he one-shots your character. The Wham Line there is the last three words of what he says. The idea that he would intentionaly train you to lose is the punch to the face.

edited 14th Apr '12 9:00:04 PM by Stormthorn

You're right. That was too long and I overdid it. That one had been in my head for a while. I'll try to scale it back from now on.

Back on topic:

The Landlady has been sick for a while, and is finally recovering. A good friend gets her some candy she had been asking for to lift her spirits, when another more Jerkass friend eats it without thinking. The one who bought the candy gives the above line as a response.

Is it my imagination, or is that a gigantic Jason Voorhees?

(How was that one?)

edited 14th Apr '12 9:42:02 PM by HandsomeRob

That works fine. Theoreticly Wham Lines clould be comedic, horrific, sad, dramatic. Im guessing this would be good to either suddenly darken a mood or, conversly lighten it (giant jason could be terrifying or silly depending on how likely he is to kill the cast). Although now i really will leave it to someone else, as games work best with many minds participating.

Said by a bunch of teens who just defeated and buried Jason two days ago.

Fifty years.

"...That's how long I've been waiting for this!" The heroes' elderly wizard ally reveals himself to have been a traitor who was going along with them to get his hands on the MacGuffin; he knocks them away with magic and steals it.

"Eggs. Over easy, and with a side of bacon."

Said by the supposed vegetarian.

"You want a dramatic surprise? Tough luck: there is none."

edited 15th Apr '12 12:12:03 PM by MetaSkipper

There is a lost Shakespeare play with pages scattered across the world. After months of adventures and hardships, the protagonist finally assemble the entire text. They read through it, becoming more and more enthralled... and then that line is written on the last page.

Pine trees are evergreens

The hero has just launched into a long "The Reason You Suck" Speech about how the villain is always wrong (think A Fish Called Wanda), and winds down to a conclusion: "...Twin Peaks is not a porno, chocolate is not made from ants, and you know what, [Name]? Pine trees are evergreens!" Then he punches the villain in the face.

"Tastes great, less filling."

A hitherto-friendly alien ambassador is presenting a speech to the Galactic Council on why humanity's continued existence would be beneficial. The first slide of his Powerpoint presentation appears on-screen.

"Thirty-two flavours. My God. Thirty-two flavours."

Remember, the idea is to create the context before the line that makes it a wham. Not after.

edited 21st Apr '12 4:03:47 AM by Iaculus