What on earth are you trying to sell me, adserver?

I just saw one of those dating service ads for what may be the first time. And toilet paper. Everyone needs toilet paper, so I'm not going to object to that. But I'm still not having a baby any time soon.

Wow, that's some ridiculous preorder. Namely, Far Cry 5. It's coming out in late February, the ad says that, and they want me to preorder already?!

No, I do not want girls of certain ethnicities on dubious 'dating' sites.

I'm single, but I'm not desperate, ad server.

edited 27th Jun '17 2:44:17 PM by RandomWriter413

American Red Cross and some funeral home nowhere near me. What the actual fuck, adbot?

I don't want to play in a poker tournament, but the Dunkin Donuts breakfast sandwich is a maybe.

An ad in Korean for what appears to be some sort of water park. Featuring a very fit, very shiny, and probable very photoshopped man and woman wearing swimsuits and standing in almost the exact same pose in front of a tube slide that must be at least 50 feet across (also the people in the tube are upside down and apparently doing loop-de-loops), I have no idea what's going on in this ad or why I got it.

EDIT: Also a Kroger ad where every person featured in it looks like they'll stab me as soon as I turn my back.

edited 24th Jul '17 10:35:22 PM by Incognitoburrito

So there's this image of a sheep in friggin Ozzy Osborne shades over a flesh-pink background in an ad that says "memes, quizzes, inspiration";

this is not a fucking pipe

I keep getting those too.

I keep getting this advert offering 'memes, jokes and fun stuff' with an image of the 'wat' woman on it.

... Seriously, what?

It wants me to learn a foreign language and play brain games. It also seems to think I am in need of K-12 online education, diabetes medication, and need to volunteer for the Red Cross.

A jewelry website I was actually browsing and a brand of makeup I do use...and pressure washing services? So close, adbot. So close. And yes, I am thinking about going back to college, but not through one of those sketchy online ones. Edit: And now I'm getting ads for online degrees from the university I was actually looking at (which also happens to be the one I got my bachelor's degree from). Stay out of my browsing history, adbot! But seriously, why the cat food ads all of a sudden? I don't have a cat.

edited 18th Aug '17 8:54:52 PM by PegasusKnightmare

Miracle cannabinoid oil...ships to all 50 states! Um, no. While the thought of cannabinoids for nerve pain has crossed my mind, you bet your ass I'm not getting it from the internet! (And probably not getting it at all, because work would not approve, and I like being employed)

Weight Watchers? Just what are you implying, adbot?

Why are you telling me about a tattoo convention? :S

Now I'm getting an ad saying that STD testing can be free or cheap. The ad does not say where, and I am not about to click on that.

Adbot's giving me ads for diamond rings...again. I dont want to marry you, Adbot. (And also I can't afford them because university is expensive.)

Adbot is really giving me a variety: QVC shopping channel (that still exists in the internet age?), Walmart, some mystery novel, Spanish ads for toilet paper, and "Come swim with the manatees!"

A wedding dress? Do you know something I don't, adbot?

I've gotten those, but I actually WAS looking at wedding dresses. I've finally stopped seeing them.

Adserver wants a somewhat frightening looking woman to sell me a house.

It also wants to inform me that Long John Silver's apparently now has deep fried Twinkies.

Just because I responded to a YKTS question about cartoon rodents does not mean I need rat poison, Adbot. I'm not a big wine drinker either. Show me that ad for the Santana concert, though. I didn't catch when/where it was.

Jitterbug (a brand of cell marketed to senior citizens) and Botox. Thanks for making me feel old, Ad Bot.

Edited to add: A service that determines via DNA testing what breeds your mixed-breed dog has in him/her. Interesting, but I already know my dog is a Shih-Tzu/Poodle mix. Might want to keep it in mind for future canine companions, though.

edited 16th Sep '17 6:06:59 PM by TolkienOtaku

A 2017 Subaru Impreza. LOL NOPE, you've been hoist by your own petard, my 2002 Forester is still kicking ass! (And I keep in touch with the people who bought my 1998 Forester, they say it's still running too)

Also, some sketchy af loan. No thanks.

I'd like to figure out what my Jack Russell Terrier mutt is mixed with. My joke answer is "a dust mop and some rocket fuel," and I'm not quite curious enough to pay $100+ to find out. I've heard: Dalmatian, Havanese, Shih Tzu, Schnauzer, and Poodle.

edited 16th Sep '17 7:01:23 PM by RaspyMink

Vape pens. No, adbot, I am not The Stoner you're looking for. I didn't choose to be born in Colorado, nor do I partake in our most famous industry.

I do not need diabetic testing supplies or hospice care, adbot. I could use the maid service and carpet cleaning, but I don't really want to pay for that. I will probably just borrow a carpet cleaner from a friend or family member.