Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

These must be compiled. So I can try them. :-D

I am not allowed to Geas God. That was pretty impressive, but for the sake of the story it can't happen again.

• The Behir did not swallow the halfling paladin because he likes 'canned bite-size chunks'.
• No longer allowed to brag about just how awesome my powers are. (An annoying habit of mine, I admit)
• Not allowed to refer to the Wizard and Warlord as 'HM slaves', even if their biggest contributions to that last fight were a few successful knowledge checks and a heal.
• If we fail to take notes of basic info such as NPC or location names one more time, the DM will smite us.
• Owning a weighted unmarked die amongst your regular dice is suspicious.

Finally compiled all these into wiki-friendly markup,but where could we put them?

1. I am not allowed to call IMA FIRIN MA LAZOR! when casting chain lightning
2. Nor am I allowed to use DOCTOR OCTAGONAPUS
3. I am not allowed to use a proxy... ever.
4. Lord High Kittensquisher is not an appropriate name for a paladin.
5. Fireball to the face is not an appropriate diplomatic response.
6. Thief recreations of Startling a witch via stealth check fail shall be laughed at.

edited 12th May '11 3:00:40 PM by stevebat

Campaign completed. Buying a house that my next character grows/grew up in:

• My house was not designed by M.C. Esher.
• My house does not have legs.
• My house is not sentient.
• I am not to design or decorate my house so that people need to make a save against fear to enter it.
  • Except for the crypt.
• Can't have a bigger house than the king.
  • Can't have my house be an exact copy that's a foot shorter in all dimensions.

edited 13th May '11 7:01:33 PM by Azreal341

One I am now terribly tempted to do:

Can't have a wizard with one rank in Perform so I can send "singing disintegrams".

@Azrael: You should try the new Mortasheen rpg when it comes out. You can do all of the above in there. Infact, having legs or some other form of movement on your house (or rather, mad scientist's lair) is expected.

Definately. Oddly enough I've never played a mad scientist before. I think I'll try the less loony classes like paladin in my next campaign though so you likely won't be hearing from me on this thread in a while now. Have fun everyone.

Azreal:

• Play Genius The Transgression
• Tell your old GM to eat a dick
• Winning!

Paladins can't do loony shit? That's news to me.

Di, why would I do that? It's a contest between me and the DM to see how many zany schemes I can come up with. The banning is just so I don't repeat myself.

• The goal in JAGS Wonderland is not to see how many people I can get infected.
• If my JAGS Wonderland character is capable of driving a Caretaker (even more) insane, it's time to retire him.
• No stabbing the Chessboard One Shadows of people I don't like.
• No nuking the Chessboard One Shadows of people I don't like.
• No Nukestabbing^TM the Chessboard One Shadows of people I don't like.

Why does "JAGS" mean?

JAGS is Just Another Gaming System. :P

JAGS Wonderland is Alice in Wonderland meets Lovecraftian Horror.

The next time my dice roll at least one 20 per round in a combat, I'm not allowed to use those dice.

edited 16th May '11 7:40:35 AM by Owenyrdoeth

• Just because one of my characters in the freeform RP we're running on my forum is a borderline psychopathic 8'6" tall anthropomorphic snow leopard capable of throwing people across a four-lane highway, that doesn't mean she has to be a Complete Monster all of the time.

• Also, got to check with the other people in said freeform RP before I start a huge, world-shaking plot.

believe me, there's a lot more. Just can't remember them a the moment

edited 16th May '11 10:11:01 AM by Vorthon

• Not allowed to turn into a bear and try to convince red dragons to stop burning things.
• If I convince a Lawful Good Chuul to follow us, I cannot have him rhyme. It's in bad taste, yes quite a waste, And it's annoying most of the time.
• Warforged cannot Powerlink with colossi.

• Grappling a minion and jumping off a cliff is not a Heroic Sacrifice.
• Grappling a swarm and jumping off a cliff is just ridiculous.
  • Yes, even if we're playing 4E.

1. When playing exalted, no longer allowed to make plans assuming all of my circle-mates bought a perfect defense.

2. After my third mentor dies, I am not allowed to have any more.

3. When playing exalted, jumping on my circlemate's shoulders and yelling "Are there any five-score-fellowshippers around here?" in the middle of Yu-Shun is discouraged.

3a. ...even if it works.

4. When playing exalted, not allowed to make three custom charms for "Ice Arrow", "Fire Arrow", and "Light Arrow" (actually just one custom and two normal) and then use a sword and shield anyway.

5. Asking the brain-in-a-jar/golem/demilich/android "If there was an all-powerful god, could He make a sandwich so big even He could not eat it?" will not cause them to self destruct, and I need to stop trying it.

6. I am no longer allowed a bag of holding.

7. In dnd, bears are actually fairly powerful opponents for a low level party. Thus, my 1st level monk should not go into the forest looking for bears to fight.

8. In exalted, the appropriate greeting between solar exalted is not "Wassup, Sol brothers?"

edited 16th May '11 1:22:36 PM by gartersnake2

• I am not allowed to have Lucille Ball as my Geist.

• Our New Orleans vampire coven is not called the Jamballiance.

• Shardminds are not made out of salt, sugar or cocaine.

• If I have the power to dull the senses, fashion sense is not one I can affect.

1. Even though there is no explicit rule my character still needs legs to walk.a

2. I am not allowed to be a player in a game EVER, I am only allowed to DM, for the fun and enjoyment of all others, since I am a God at the game table.

Okay, this one takes a bit of setting up. It's based on something my friend came up with, and it's a multiparter.

1. Can no longer play a pair of identical dwarven twins, even with a level reduction.
2. Even if my strength score is high enough, I can no longer take Weapon Focus: Thrown Dwarf. (classic)
3. No character can use monk skills while being thrown, even if you roll well on Tumble.
4. Can no longer apply Kensai weapon modifications to living beings.
5. The rules allow Throwing and Returning to be applied to the same item, but adding Brilliant Energy is a step too far.
6. If the word 'laser buzzsaw' can describe the appearance of your characters' whole bodies during their basic attack, it is banned.

•Shardminds are not made out of salt, sugar or cocaine

: Except Shardmind Ardents, which ARE made of cocaine. PSYCHIC cocaine.

Also, not sure if I already posted this one:

• My Wizard's Arcane Familiar, the Shaman's Spirit Companion and the Ranger's Animal Companion are not allowed to be the same creature.

edited 17th May '11 1:17:42 AM by Diamonnes

• No matter how awesome it would be, not allowed to play a Dwarven Weretiger Bard with an Intelligence score of 6.

• Nor am I allowed to play an effeminate Bugbear Bard.

• I am to stop seeing how many templates I can cram onto a character.

Yes!!! I got the 200th post in this topic! Woot!

edited 17th May '11 7:19:21 AM by Vorthon