Some Guy Or Something
- I am no longer allowed to talk smack in character, as it will result in me rolling nothing but single-digits.
- ...Unless I am covering for another player, in which case, I should. As I will get the most obnoxious nat 20s in existence.
Yakka Foob Mog
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
It's a universal law of probability. One of my first games was a Fallout-themed game my friend ran for me. I was sneaking behind a guy when he whipped around.
- Target: "Do we have a thief?"
- Me: No, you have an assassin. -swings at him, my poorly executed punch bouncing harmlessly off his cheek. I get rifle whipped for my efforts-
edited 12th Mar '12 10:54:35 PM by darnpenguin
Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)
Fwomph
My wizard may no longer...
- Be Swedish
- Have Fabricate
- Be spelt with two "z"s
- Have a transformation sequence
Yakka Foob Mog
- My monk is not to leap foot first into impossible odds. Not that it matters, since he's dead as a consequence.
- My half-orc does not have to become as dangerous to his allies as his enemies as he levels up.
Lesbarian
Not allowed to play a giant Earth elemental Lich.
Not allowed to make a character with absolutely zero defence abilities because I know the party is going to have a healer, no matter how obscenely fast he can kill someone.
edited 8th Mar '12 4:42:37 PM by Exelixi
Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
It's Like Arguing on the Internet
- My cat does not know how to play D&D and does not need a character sheet.
- Things my cat does in the room where we're playing are not the things my familiar is doing in the game.
WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT
- Not allowed to blow up a space station and kill Darth Vader in the Star Wars game.
- Even if it is explicitly an alternate universe to the movies.
Even though the DM encourages us to act out as much as we can, I am not ever, ever, ever, ever allowed to sing again. That's indeed four ever. The punishment is death by blunt instrument.
This applies to another player but its similar. Under no circumstances are Ork Footbooter VS Rogue Trader rap battles ever permitted again.
It's Like Arguing on the Internet
There is no ability for bards called "Summon Wenches".
Somehow you know that the time is right.
Official Tesladyne Employee TM
There is no ability for artificers called Summon Wrenches.
You are dazzled by my array of very legal documents.
It's Like Arguing on the Internet
"Being really cool" does not negate any of the requirements for a prestige class.
Somehow you know that the time is right.
Fwomph
Elves do not have "Gender Ambiguity" as a racial power.
It's clearly a case of backroom political albumizing.
It's Like Arguing on the Internet
No matter what race and/or class I am, I cannot take ranks in "projectile vomiting".
Somehow you know that the time is right.
Lesbarian
The low Elf reproduction rate is not caused by a high rate of castrato singers, eunuchs, or lesbians.
Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
It's Like Arguing on the Internet
- "The Godpuncher" is not an acceptable nickname for my character, regardless of how accurate it is*.
- "I swear by all the old gods (and most of the new ones)" is not an acceptable Catchphrase.
- My Detect Evil spell is not "malfunctioning" when it doesn't work on my party.
Fwomph
- There is no such thing as a "medieval IKEA".
- Even if it did, it wouldn't sell flatpack catapults.
- Not allowed to make my own "medieval IKEA" using the Fabricate spell.
- Even if I was, I cannot sell flatpack catapults.
- Know what, just ban anything related to catapults with my character.
- Even if I was, I cannot sell flatpack catapults.
- My character can talk to the ship and shuttle, but not her gun.
- What machines actually talk back is up to the GM when my character first talks at it
- No, my character does not need to do a barrel role, ignore the other players who insist you need to.
edited 10th Mar '12 10:12:23 PM by CrazyLogic
If what I say doesn't make sense, please refer to my name. Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE! http://orkinet.lefora.com/
Not allowed to base anything remotely in real-world physics ever again, especially if it involves building a god-killing thaumaturgical device.
Sphere of Annihilation ain't got nothin' on an actual black hole launcher.
Smile for me!
Marvel RPG:
- When playing Iron Man, I am not allowed to make passes at Captain America. Or vice versa.
- On second thought, I am not allowed to play Iron Man or Captain America.
- Same goes to Deadpool.
- Even though the evidence in the comic books points to the contrary, there is no super-secret Wolverine-cloning facility, so I should stop trying to persuade the party to ditch the current quest and go destroy it.
- There is no evil cosmic entity known as "Quesada" or any variations thereof, especially not in a campaign that deals mainly with Spider-Man.
edited 11th Mar '12 7:40:49 PM by UseYourDelusion
- In Vampire: Dark Ages, not allowed to turn the Book of Nod into a block of cheese.
- Not even if the cheese is Gruyere.
Yakka Foob Mog
- I am no longer allowed to "cool off" by creating a jar that lets heat in, but not out.
- I am definitely not allowed to "conveniently forget about it" until it gets hot enough to start emitting gamma radiation.
- Labeling the jar "do not eat" and sticking it in the student lounge refrigerator is right out.
edited 12th Mar '12 8:59:12 PM by darnpenguin
Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)
Your avatar makes it look like Calvin is looking at these lists and getting ideas.
I know I am...
I am no longer allowed to have a GMPC. I am completely OK with this.