Is this a good plot twist?

I'm writing this story about a prince who is fighting a man who is just dark energy inhabiting a black suit of armor. They both are wearing a magical gauntlet made 1,000 years ago,and the villain is very mysterious.

Then,in the first major fight scene between the main villain and the protaginast, the villain reveals that he is the protaganist himself.

I was hoping for a "Luke,I am your father!" reaction. Think it can work?

Is there Time Travel involved?

As always, it depends on the execution. Will there be hints, so it doesn't come out of fuckall nowhere? You just present a shell, and don't give us any meat to judge. Write it well and you can pull it off. Screw it up and you yank the reader's Willing Suspension of Disbelief

Try to give hints and Foreshadowing.Otherwise it will feel like an Ass Pull

Make the audinece think: "I can't believe it...yet it all makes sense now!.

For example:

1. Hero says: That's how he knew everymove I was going to make!
2. The Chick says: That's how he knew were my secret weapon was hidden!!
3. Villain says: Remeber how someone opened the vault with the password only you knew?...well that's becuase you only know the password

• Hero says: what do you mean with that?... you read my mind?
• Villain says: Something like that....

Of course I don't know nothing about your story this are just ideas.

edited 26th Feb '11 8:43:56 PM by FallenLegend

I've heard of stories like this once or twice (I can see why; it's got neat philosphy in there). The only problem I can see is if you were centering the plot around the twist. That's usually a bad idea.

I think pretty much the same thing as the others: no fore-shadowing, plot twist is wallbanger.

Psave the fight for later on in the tale.

Depends on the tone of the story. If it's one of those weirder works it might be ok. Otherwise played straight would be annoying, the protagonist should lampshade how absurd the situation is.

I was trying to do a unique take on the fantasy genre by taking it out of the middle ages and putting the story in the time period where the universe was just leaving the Middle Ages and entering the Renaissance,so it will still have fantasy elements but it can also have non fantasy elements like scientists and flawed gunpowder.

The theme is "You are your own worst enemy" in both a figurative and literal way.

The character spends the whole story afraid of using the Artifact of Power because he fears he will succumb to its power,and that he feels he isn't good enough,among other insecurities that he has to face in order to embrace his destiny.

Fate dealt the main character a bad hand,but the bad hand was meant to make him stronger.

I intend to make the fight towards the end,but maybe not the very last fight.

Sorry for being overly logical, but doesn't that give the protagonist Plot Armor, since the villian can't win without causing a paradox?

^^ You are using very vague terms to describe this split happening. Again, the point stands: if it's Time Travel, ^ has a point. You can't make StableTimeLoops in that case.

The villain isn't trying to win. He's actually helping the protaginast. He went back in time to be the bad guy so he could shape the protaginast into the leader he needs to be. Even though it means the death of himself and thousands of others.

but wouldn't him travelling back in time to help his past self cause him to cease to exist due to the laws of space, time and all that jazz?

Since he is altering the past, the universe he came from will cease to exist since its future, will be different.

I for one, find Time Travel to be the one thing I would never write about since it will always end up terribly wrong.

Those laws don't apply in universe. Which is why it's a work of fiction.

The future will be different,but that's not the point. The point is the villain sacrificed everything to avert a horrible future. His morality,his fame,his brother,even his own life so that his past self would rise to his destiny as leader and change the world for good. It came at a tremendous cost,but he succeeded.

The villain wasn't really a villain at all. He was a hero in disguise.

edited 28th Feb '11 8:06:10 AM by TheProffesor

Ah, very clever.

I was actually expecting You Already Changed the Past-style Time Travel.

So you think it would work? I'm trying to do a brand new take on the Fantasy genre,freeing it from wizards and middle ages stone castles,yet still keeping it in a fantasy.

How does he time travel?

The Gauntlet. The name of the book is Legend of The Gauntlet.

The Gauntlet is a magic armored glove that when worn by a royal,grants tremendous power. It was first worn in known history by Sir Segan The Great,the first being to explore the continent where the story takes place. It's power was too great,so he sealed it away and entrusted it's coordinates to the royal adviser so when kings came,they wouldn't be corrupted by it's power.

Skip forward a couple thousand years,the alt reality Steven takes the throne when his older brother is too sick to rule. War takes place. Out of desperation, alt reality Steven uses it to conquer his foes. The leader of the enemy army,who is also royal,finds Segan's enchanted armor. It isn't enough to beat Steven and his Gauntlet,but he goes back in time to get the past gauntlet so he can fight alt reality Steven.

Steven uses the Gauntlet to travel back in time to stop his enemy from getting the gauntlet,but things get crazy and his younger self gets the gauntlet,with alt reality Steven's mortal enemy pretending to be on his side to get the gauntlet from him.

The only solution future Steven sees is for himself to become the bad guy.

The rest of the book is all about past Steven gaining the courage to wear the gauntlet and destroying Serda,the name Future Steven goes by. He doesn't find out it's himself till the end,which explains why the villain did all he did.

Makes my brain hurt. I hate Time Travel on principle, I've seen very few fictional time travel stories that made any logical sense whatsoever.

edited 28th Feb '11 12:07:40 PM by Ettina

...How could that make your head hurt? He used magic to time travel... There isn't any Techno Babble involved at all. It's simple.

The only solution future Steven sees is for himself to become the bad guy.

I'm afraid I lost you here. Exactly why is becoming a villain the only way to stop your past self from having a gauntlet stolen from him?

You'd have to read the book to understand that. You have to realize that Steven is a very timid character. He's afraid of using the Gauntlet because he fears it's power will corrupt him.

Future Steven aka Serda's strategy is to create so much destruction and chaos that the only way to stop him is for Steven to activate the gauntlet and kill him,setting everything right,even though it will cost Serda's life.

All of Serda's plans are designed to mold Steven into the leader he needs to be.

Why dos Steven need to be a loader in the first place?

For indepth reasons,you'd have to read the book. The real reason is that Steven is the only one capable of using the Gauntlet,as he has the blood of Segan in him. He is destined to bring the two countries who had hated each other together in harmony through the power of the gauntlet.

Serda's nemesis traveling back in time messed this up. SO,in order to set things right,Future Steven aka Serda has to force Steven to be a leader and use the gauntlet,something he's afraid to do.

Uh...that...kinda seems pretty unbelievable.

Like, if I was in that situation, I would've just stood there, slack-jawed, and said, "Dude, people have died."

And if future me has some proof that he's past me, which he really easily should considering he is me I would tend to listen to him. Cause, eh, he's me, except presumably more badass.

Ohwait there is proof that future me is past me, because I'm the only guy who can put on the gauntlet. Even better, if future me's been playing with this gauntlet for some time and he's avoided With Great Power Comes Great Insanity, even more reason to put it on.

And that's not even going into the fact that if I had a time-traveling non-Stable Time Loop gauntlet, I would just go back into the past, find baby nemesis, and, depending on my Anti-Hero-ness, shoot him in the face or start reforming him or whatever.

Now, I realize that I haven't actually read your book, so, at the most, these are just issues to look out for. Execution, again, is everything, if you can make me believe I will believe it; I've bought more convoluted plots than what you've got before just because it was that good.

Your fridge logic can easily be explained if you read the book. I'm not going to explain the whole thing here.

Besides,past Steven doesn't know that he's the only one who can wear it. And I doubt he would recognize his future self considering that Serda is pure dark energy inhabiting a 9 foot tall suit of armor...

Its kind of frustrating if you ask for help, and then don't give us information we may need to help