FarmVille: The Game of True Men and Heroes

WHY IS THERE NOT A FARMVILLE THREAD YET? THIS IS BLASPHEMY.

I cannot forgive you TV Tropes. You are DEAD to me. But only on Fridays.

How dare you not have a Video Game thread dedicated to one of the most triangulating, white-knuckle, edge-of-your-seat adrenaline explosion, heroic badassopathic flash games ever made. It features graphics that cannot be denied, not even by God, regardless of gender or race. Look deep into the eyes of those cows, sitting around on your screen. Tell me what you will see. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WILL SEE? TRUTH. TRUTH TO THE MAX. Those cows are the future, my friend. THE FUTURE. THOSE PIXELLATED COWS WILL FUCKING KILL YOU WITH THEIR MILK OF EDGINESS AND BADASSERAMERIE.

EVERYTHING is cute on that game, do you hear me? EVERYTHING. Even the Grass sprites make girls squeal in endearment and flock to them. The God-damn president plays FARMVILLE.

This game is not for the faint of sanity. If you are weak-minded and cannot handle even managing a FARM OF THE FUTURE, the cows will deem you unworthy, as will the chickens, and they will bellow the noises of the atrocities of the universe, rending your brain and fuckflaying it into a puddle of mist. YES. MOOING COWS ON A FLASH GAME CAN DETERIORATE YOUR BRAIN TO THE POINT WHERE IT EVAPORATES.

IT EVEN CONNECTS TO FACEBOOK. So you can chat and command legions upon legions of your friends and family members to contribute to your farm empire that rivals even Super Oedipus and Alexander's great empires. They will be like "GOD DAMN THAT DUDE IS SO BADASS. I WANNA JOIN HIS HAREM"

AND YOU WILL GET A HAREM. TONS OF PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK WILL COME TO ADMIRE YOU FOR YOUR FEARLESS FARM OF FUTURISTIC FERTILITY, and they will want to have your babies and give you sexual favors. Yes, even the girl that made fun of you in High School will be licking your feet and sending you livestock on her laptop, begging for you to check out her new update. AND YES, EVEN Neil PATRICK HARRIS.

SO GET ON FACEBOOK, AND PLAY SOME FUCKIN' FARMVILLE.

Did somebody order A LARGE HAM!?

edited 5th Feb '11 12:47:31 PM by VutherA

^PEACE! THROUGH! PORK!

Aw, shuddap. I play it... occasionally.

Whoa.

For some odd reason, the OP's avatar distracted me from whatever (s)he was saying.

edited 5th Feb '11 12:49:29 PM by Scardoll

Me Too!

I thought that Robot Unicorn Attack was the game for TRUE MEN and HEROES.

edited 5th Feb '11 12:51:57 PM by PippingFool

I just imagine the O Ps avatar saying all of this.

I played this pretty hardcore for about a month before getting bored with it. I can see why people like it, but eventually I needed more of an end goal.

A Robot Unicorn Attack was also acceptable.

Can't unsee/hear!

But the really, the avatar is... striking.

edited 5th Feb '11 12:54:40 PM by Nyarly

I've been known to play it on occasion. Frontierville is a bit better, in my opinion.

But it and it's sister games' increasing reliance on either playing with real money or having scores of friends who also play it (not an option with me) has been steadily annoying me, however.

Cityville being the worst of it - you literally cannot advance in the game without either paying an increasingly high amount for it or pressuring all your annoyed friends into participating in the game. At least in the other two you can do fine with a substantial but pretty easy to ignore/bypass decrease in ease and content.

Don't we have a trope for games that are "free" like that?

edited 5th Feb '11 1:02:10 PM by KnownUnknown

Allegedly Free Game

If people shuffle out 60 dollars for Final Fantasy XIII, I am sure they wouldn't mind paying 1.00 to be uber awesome in Farm Ville. Which took less money to make, and has more fans.

Statement: Risperidone is not a med to 'take as needed.'

:P

edited 5th Feb '11 2:31:35 PM by Miijhal

This reminds me of that Powethirst "Commercial".

Farmville was pretty fun, but eventually my farm got too large and I quit because it took up too much time. C'est la vie.

Minecraft is better.

Why would I want to play a game which sends as much personal details as it can to as many advertisers as it can?

Also, it sounds like a really really boring thing to play. I have better time-wasters to worry about (such as the afore-mentioned Minecraft, which doesn't even work properly on my computer)

I tried it for a couple of months. It was fun, but it was too time-consuming.

Used to play it, found it boring after a few months, and then quit. I blocked it (and its spinoffs and imitators) from showing up in my Facebook feeds, because a handful of my friends play those games a lot.

Its been eight months since I last used Farmville (and high school!). I used to have the highest scores among my friends at the time and compulsively checked it all the tine. I am a recovered addict. My sister was plotting to do an intervention, but I quit before she could do so. :p

BTW, everyone's always talking about Robot Unicorn Attack and the Angry Birds. Are they as good as everyone else says it is?

I think more people follow Robot Unicorn Attack due to the inherent silliness of its premise. Angry Birds, on the other hand, can be a lot of fun. It reminds me of Boom Blox in a few ways.

I came in this thread to say that DEAR GOD OP, YOUR AVATAR IS CREEPY.

That'll be all. Bye.

I tried it, kinda meh really.

Gentlemen prefer Harvest Moon.