Post Your Concept

...—shrugs— whatever dude. Don't want comments, don't post. Like I said, I wasn't targeting you or anything, just went down the line.

My iPhone is possessed. I get voice mails from dead people; mysterious calendar/alarm notifications that portend happenings; adding fictional people to my contact list makes them appear while after deleting a contact nobody has heard of the - it's like they never existed. Now it's a week before Armistice Day and while the rest of the world plans a moment if silence I have to stop the screams that are supposed to happen at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, 2011.

I would advise to not use an iphone, just because it might not age well. Then again, that is your choice whether to take that risk or not.

Other than that, it seems familiar, in a way. Like it's been done before. Actually, I don't think it has, but I think the bits and pieces have been used before. Hm...

edited 17th Jan '11 10:12:50 AM by MrAHR

Hmm. I could see it working, but there might need to be a bit more to the story theme-wise to keep it from coming off as preachy. When AHR says that it comes off that way, she's not implying that you're some kind of ultra-feminist or anything. She's only saying that others might perceive it that way. And besides... Even if you believe AHR to be an idiot, you gotta remember that there are a lot of idiots in the world.

Hmmm... What's the background of the main character like? Do you plan on going into that at all? Like, what would you say you want to accomplish with the book theme-wise? Is it a simple whodunnit scenario, with *BAM* A killer at the end, gets arrested, end of story, or are you looking for something deeper, more mature, or thought-provoking? I'm actually curious to hear what you planned on doing with the story before I pass judgment on it.

@66 Scorpio-

That... Sounds legitimately interesting. What's the tone of the book? As in, what style of horror are you going for? And AHR, since he said 2011, I think it might already be dating itself, though I'm not sure if he intended such.

edited 17th Jan '11 10:13:47 AM by Cakman

Wikipedia has surprisingly little on the Erinyes .___. Yay Google-fu

Would it be too Hellblazer-ish to have 2 or more deities fighting over possession of a mortal soul?

@ 66 Scorpio: Something Marble Hornets-ish? Or a more traditional format?

edited 17th Jan '11 10:16:15 AM by melloncollie

—never saw Hellblazer—

Sorry. But as long as the dynamics are different, you should not be in too hot water.

@AHR: I want the comments. From anyone who isn't you (refer to post 21).

@Cakman: I don't preach in my stories. I give my characters a problem, they find the best solution they can, given the circumstances, the story moves on. This story will end with the capture/death of the killer. Just before that, the heroine will finally manage to convince the three guys to work with her. Together, they will solve the case, end of story. The moral of the story is that teamwork wins the day.

As for the thoughts and reactions, I have long abandoned any pretense of knowing how my readers will react to my writing. Their reactions always manage to surprise me. In some cases, I write stories specifically for people I know and like, and then I am pretty sure how that small circle will react. But when writing something like this, I just write what's on my mind. And I do not believe AHR is an idiot, I just don't want to read any more comments from her on my ideas, writing, etc. because I do not like her personally.

As for the heroine's background, I am thinking along the lines of "daughter of two cops, studied history and psychology, trained in Quantico, top grades, lots of field work, passed over for promotion, stopped giving a damn". In personal life, has a girlfriend who works at the FBI lab and helps her out on her cases. Her parents are proud of her career but insist that she should get married.

Okay, well, I technically have two separate responses to you.

Professionally, I think you seem to have at least an idea for what you're going for. I will admit, it isn't anything special- not anymore so than a regular airport store novel- but there is indeed an inkling of thought as to where you want to go with your idea. So I would professionally advise you to pursue it. If it goes nowhere, so be it. You can come up with something else. I would still advise maybe adding some sort of overlying issue to the narrative- whether it be adding some sort of deep flaw to the protagonist, or play up on the dry, if dark, humor of the local inhabitants of the backwater town she is in, in the vein of Fargo, but adjusted for location. It could turn the basic storyline into something pretty good (of course, that's just an example of what you could do.)

Personally, however, I honestly find you to be a bigger jerk than AHR could have ever been. While she may be known for her sometimes overtly critical nature when giving writing advice, whether or not you feel that she is "unfair" to you is irrelevant. She has no personal vendetta against you, and to honestly say to her that you personally "don't like her" is both unprofessional and rude. If you're posting something on the internet and asking for criticism, you better keep a straight face when you get it, and not complain when the response you get isn't what you were expecting. AHR should probably not have originally told you that you should just drop the idea, but that's her way, unfortunately. She is a bit too blunt. But to honestly say that you want her not to comment on your stuff anymore is just over-reactive and childish, and makes you appear even less apt to handle the storyline you already had than you did previously.

edited 17th Jan '11 11:07:05 AM by Cakman

Flaws for protagonists are difficult to find and accept, but I already had the same thoughts and I am working on expanding the concept. It is not set in stone yet. I would love to experiment with language and humor, but alas, those have never been my strength in written fiction. :(

You are right, of course, I have overreacted. But I don't see how anyone can be any more entitled to being blunt with people they don't know than someone else is entitled to not liking harsh rebuttals of their creative ideas. I am ready to show respect to people, but only if it's mutual.

@Mr AHR: I apologize for my harsh words earlier. That does not mean I came to appreciate your tone, however.

edited 17th Jan '11 11:30:44 AM by Koveras

And I apologize if I was overly harsh.

Here is my concept:

Thousands of years ago, a massive war in the Near East between different human civilizations and their patron devas and demons resulted in El(aka God) conquering the region, taking control of a powerful Cosmic Keystone, and turning it into a paradise for His faithful human worshipers. However, it came at a price: the exile of all devas and demons not subservient to El, including His own wife and children.

Much later, in the not-too distant future: Villain Protagonist Hadad, Son of El(aka Ba'al) his brothers, Yam and Mot, and their mother, Asherah, reunite and decide that the time is finally ripe to challenge the ruling divine order. To do this, they enlist the aid of a Knight Templar demon lord who seeks to avenge crimes committed against his brethren, and a murderous teenaged Otaku with godlike powers. They all seek to overthrow El and His allies, and they might succeed...if their own selfish desires don't get in the way of their goal.

deleted at poster's will

edited 17th Jan '11 11:57:31 AM by colbertimposter

@Zero: Hrm. Just judging by the minor confusion I got from the summary, I think you're gonna have serious problems with keeping everyone on the same page, with all the names / made-up concepts you have going on.

edited 17th Jan '11 11:58:29 AM by MrAHR

Here is my storyline:

A young boy... Saves the world.

edited 17th Jan '11 12:21:13 PM by Cakman

@Mr AHR I plan to have the twist early. Around chapter 5 of 30, or earlier.

My (slightly mad) concept:

A transhuman has been manipulating human culture so as to bring about The Singularity about halfway through the 22nd century. However, about halfway through the 21st century, humanity as a whole notices something strange is going on, because they discover a planet inhabited by suspiciously familiar tall, blue, roughly humanoid aliens. It kinda goes off from there, as an incredibly Genre Savvy human crew try and not disrupt the aliens while solving the problem of how an exclusively man-made mineral ends up on an alien planet in vast quantities.

edited 17th Jan '11 12:48:10 PM by Yej

Sounds like a parody. Or suing material.

A 31-year old man progressively goes back in his personal time — he lives one day straightforwardly, then lives the day yesterday, and so on and so forth. He still keeps his memories and is all too painfully aware of the futureless past he is doomed to spiral into.

And yet.. he might as well smell the flowers, and he takes the opportunity to relive some very special occasions, as well as apologise for all the wrongdoings he did do.

At the end, he is unborn, and his free consciousness thrives on in timeless bound.

edited 17th Jan '11 12:56:31 PM by QQQQQ

@QQQQQ Oooo, that sounds like it could be interesting. A real tearjerker if played right. But from your basic summery I'm left wondering why he's living his life like that, just how exactly does it work?

He lives one day awake, and after he sleeps and dreams, he wakes up where he was the day before.

Hopefully the former defends against the latter.

edited 17th Jan '11 1:05:44 PM by Yej

Sounds great QQQQQ. If you ever become published, I wouldn't mind screenwriting it to adapt into a movie. :p

As briefly described in my topic in World Building, The whole thing is a Thirty Xanatos Pileup / Conspiracy Kitchen Sink that focuses on several secret societies and their plots, which grow increasingly convoluted and confusing as the story goes on. The whole conspiracy aspect is pretty much entirely played for laughs. The basic setup is this:

EDIT: Concept revised for better clarity, see page 4.

edited 20th Jan '11 2:42:00 PM by Flackw

HOLY CRAP! Less than 12 hours and already nearly 50 posts? I am shocked. Heh heh.

Anyway, in respons to Mr. AHR. I guess I was a little vague with my concept, let me try again.

Knowing what You do from my earlier post, the plot follows The boss as he gets hired into many complex situations in which he has to both keep his team functional (as they would likely fall apart without him) as well as keep himself alive. The boss does this mostly by using underhanded and somewhat "unethical" tactics. Things get more complicated over time as certain people in the company die over time (after all, being a mercenary is not exactly a safe occupation) the boss has to replace lost members with new ones, some of which don't particularly find him to be a very good boss. While I plan to keep my core 5 around for a long time, I still have plenty of secondary characters to kill off or place into special roles.

Anyway, in direct response to AHR, this concept doesnt really contain much in the way of plot since the plot shifts often due to the nature of the boss' work, meaning that there really isn't a set "Big Bad", more as the main antagonists are simply the organizations that the characters are hired against.

I sure hope that I made things a bit clearer!

edited 17th Jan '11 2:27:24 PM by Talann_Zar

Crap, sorry for the double post!

edited 17th Jan '11 2:32:42 PM by Talann_Zar