The strangest thing you've said today...

"Imagine doing the Time Warp to literally warp time. I'd be like: 'Whatever, just warp the time, time warper.'"

"Is she a superhero's fiancee?"

(upon seeing a photo of a woman seemingly walking out of a large Coca-Cola-branded display refrigerator)

"Killing somebody because they instituted Meatloaf Day. Truly, there has never a greater cause."

"Congratulations you have just disproven all of Science Fiction and Fantasy,"

"suck my wiggly dick"

"Can I give my socks a Viking burial?"

"Nothing says "happy birthday" quite as well as a Tyrannosaurus to the face."

Also: "I'd help you, but my hands are covered in fungal slime."

edited 31st Aug '17 9:43:26 AM by ArilouLaLeeLay

I am absolutely sure I got my ass handed to me yesterday, I was there when it happened, but I need some documentation.

edited 31st Aug '17 9:11:21 AM by RaspyMink

"Haha! You thought you could, but you didn't get to, because you weren't when it isn't, and that but as is!"

(Sung to the tune of the theme song of "Thomas the Tank Engine") "There's two, there's four, there's six, there's eight, dragging you to a grisly fate! Go ahead and scream and yell, it won't save you from the pits of Hell! Boiling lava and raging flames and in the end, you're to blame!"

"This is one stubborn cupcake."

"So, the lesson learned from today is: 'Don't be a di— ah— jer— badger.' You know what, I'm gonna go consult a dictionary."

"you wouldn't do a more half-assed trace if you dipped one buttock in ink..."

edited 4th Sep '17 2:39:35 PM by NotSoBadassLongcoat

Don't spear tackle your roommate.

We do not use greyhounds as bowling pins.

Looks like someone wanted an actual burning man at Burning Man.

Context: Someone at Burning Man ran into the flames.

edited 6th Sep '17 12:18:11 PM by Scarecrow4774

"The moral of the story is: engaging in mass murder and eating people for three lifetimes gives you good insights into your life. The main one being "maybe I should stop engaging in mass murder and eating people"."

edited 6th Sep '17 2:13:53 PM by ArilouLaLeeLay

"That's what I get for looking up fish papers on Google Scholar."

"Well, I'm sure Google still exists in 2101"

"They invented A RAG FOR CLEANING THE ORBIT!" [1]

Please amputate my head.

"Hitler, stop running those red lights!"

"Can we impale people who stop in the middle of the fucking hallway?"

"'Tis time to celebrate, for I have defeated you for good, Cotton-Eyed Joe!"

Context: I named a particularly elusive mosquito that had decided to infiltrate my home "Cotton-Eyed Joe", because the song (you know, the "where did you come from, where did you go" one) got stuck in my head when I was looking for said mosquito. And I definitely know that it's a Gender-Blender Name, because it was very obviously a blood-sucking one and those are all female.

As for why I chose to name a mosquito that I was going to kill...this little thing managed to elude me for an hour, dodged numerous swatting attempts that I was certain would kill it, and somehow managed to survive being crushed with a book. No, it didn't avoid it, the bugger definitely got crushed under it and even left a bloody trace on the cover and yet still somehow lived on and escaped. After all that, the little bloodsucker had earned its Worthy Opponent credentials, enough for a name at the very least.

So, all they had to do to win was to not time travel, but if they hadn't, they wouldn't have been invented... Gah! It's a time loop that doesn't work!