The Doppelganger Experiment

Below is an article on a philosophical question posed by Daniel O'Brien of Cracked.com. Read, consider, and then answer honestly in the form of a post.

(Note: this is not pointless fun. I'm gathering data.)

http://www.cracked.com/blog/human-clones-do-you-fk-or-fight/#ixzz17y8pvm6k

My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.

Neither. I sit back and watch what I would do if I only had an hour left to live, taking copious notes the whole time - it would be rather telling to see how I'd react to the news that I only got an hour to live.

Happiness is zero-gee with a sinus cold.

What is this? Another one of those stupid pick 'This or that' games? The entire article feels like some contrived shit just to let the author justify having sex with himself because he feels insecure about what other people would say about it.

And frankly, the idea that you cannot learn something from yourself is, in itself, automatic BS.

That's like saying nothing will ever come of introspecting. Which is obviously false. The only difference is that a clone can provide a physical manifestation of a similar thought process. Any new conclusion can be forced if one thinks about a subject from a different perspective.

My other signature is a Gundam.

Why are those the only two options? I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that if I had an hour to live, fighting/screwing wouldn't be the first things on my mind.

There's a pretty substantial difference between conversing with someone who is your identical twin in every way and talking to yourself. There's also the idea of seeing how you'd react if you had only an hour to live; if the clone is unaware of it, then it might be a bit boring. But if so, then I'm sure my clone and I could have some fascinating games of Tic-Tac-Toe.

And then it starts talking about how sex is masturbation. Sigh.

Probably fuck. If I could get some sort of proof that I did it anyway. I mean that would be a world first right there.

Is using "Julian Assange is a Hillary butt plug" an acceptable signature quote?

Fuck. Though that's assuming those two thoughts would even enter my head at the time, because I'd actually prefer to just have a long and thorough conversation with myself, honestly.

…Well, unless we where trying to figure out how a fight scene would play out. Then we'd fight really, really slowly instead.

Nemo enim fere saltat sobrius, nisi forte insanit Deviantart.

You know, "fighting" here could actually be a good idea if you're a boxer or a fencer. It's better than even a mirror for examining your own weaknesses.

I think we'd both sit there awkwardly. He might flip out and try to hammer down the walls, and if he did I wouldn't try to stop him.

edited 13th Dec '10 12:30:09 AM by feotakahari

That's Feo . . . He's a disgusting, mysoginistic, paedophilic asshat who moonlights as a shitty writer—Something Awful

I would have a deep conversation, maybe banter a bit, play some games, then ask myself what it feels like to know that you're going to disappear in a short while, and ask if they have any requests.

I would perhaps ask them if they want their own name, to make them at least a little unique, and see if they have any last requests.

Then I would spar for a while, and practice forms under my own eye (I'm a martial artist).

With the final moments on the clock, we would exchange some deep words, and pray.

If the clone isn't going to disappear though, then the whole "gonna die in an hour" wouldn't apply, and things would be a bit more light hearted.

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD

Both. We have an hour. That's plenty of time to beat the crap out of each other, realize we're evenly matched, then rage fuck. Then, after rage fucking, we still probably have time for another brawl.

Of course, I'm a psychology major and would probably just end up studying the minor differences between me and my clone (which would come about due to him being a seprate person from the second he came to be). By the time the hour was up and the robots came to let me out I'd probably still be in the same spot writing notes, which, in the end, would be useless since there's no way to check my notes with other people since (A. people would think I'm insane & (B. I'm the only one who could possibly even know this stuff. Though, that isn't to say that part of my study couldn't include fighting and fucking.

Then we get to the post-clone events. How would I fare in a world where I've experienced something no one else will ever experience? How could I tell anyone about... are you even reading anymore?

---

Also, I realized something about why talking to your clone is even less of a possibility. As the author said, they agree with you on every major issue. I can get the same effect by just talking to myself right now. And anyone whose clone (and, by extension, their own mind) would argue with them would probably end up starting a fight anyway (either that or they'll end up hate fucking themself).

edited 13th Dec '10 1:14:34 AM by Malph

I'd talk, possibly fight, but wouldn't fuck.

But really, I'd rather talk. I'd want the chance to examine my own mannerisms from an outside perspective.

Do some science. The question is only who would win the fight to get the tester.

Fight smart, not fair.

If I'm feeling a little darker upon meeting my clone, then I would play rock-paper-scissors with them... for their LIFE. If they win best 49 out of 50, I let them go; if not, I eat MY OWN BRAIN!

-BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!-

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD

I'd like to say talk, but I'm ashamed to say, probably fight, and probably lose.

See, I know me, and I know how I respond to pressure. I am in no way a stoic. So if I was locked in a room, fully aware that I had only one hour to live, I'd go nuts. And if there was another me in there, who would not be vanishing and who I might assume to be in some way responsible for this turn of events, I would want to beat the hell out of him.

And if I was locked in a room and my clone self started punching me, I'd be completely caught off guard and absolutely terrified, so I'd most likely lose. Also, if I was enraged and had one hour to live, you bet I'd be aiming to kill. If I was locked in a room and being beaten by my clone self, I don't think I could bring myself to kill him. So the real me would be at a severe disadvantage.

Welcome To TV Tropes | How To Write An Example | Text-Formatting Rules | List Of Shows That Need Summary | TV Tropes Forum | Know The Staff

No

What a pointless waste of an article.

Blind Final Fantasy 6 Let's Play

Agreed.

<rant> It'd be tempting to, rather than fight the clone, fight with the clone against whoever put us in this situation, because I can't imagine myself becoming involved in what, to my morality, is an abomination. If I'm going to have the opportunity to do something unique in human history... sex or wrestling with my clone? I'm sorry, but that's a little anticlimatic, frankly, and hardly worth the life of a clone! I'd rather be a nobody than be involved in something like this. </rant>

In the end, if I were cloned I would just rename the clone and we'd act like twins.

Think about it, wouldn't it be awesome to hold a conversation with yourself? Or play chess with yourself? The difficulty level would be perfect.

Imagine the possibilities!

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD

Also: if I could clone myself, I wouldn't use it on myself. I'd use it to, you know, make money and so on.

I'd use it For Science!! And make money too.

edited 13th Dec '10 10:25:34 AM by storyyeller

Blind Final Fantasy 6 Let's Play

Harem of beautiful women. And money. And Science.

Fight smart, not fair.

^ And on dat ass?

In this situation? I'm a lover not a fighter.

Stupid Sexy Me

| DA Page | Sketchbook |

New plan: Me and my clone would merge into one, thus allowing him to survive longer than an hour and making me a super version of myself.

If only I could have a permanent clone of myself... I could mysteriously do like 20 units per semester, because we would split the classes!

We could switch off deployments so one of us was chilling at home on a long vacation while the other was overseas!(Though I'd have some serious fucking explaining to do if said clone or original died..)

If one of us was sick or injured, the other could fill in at work and such while the double rested, I could work two jobs at once!

Fight, but not necessarily physically. From the moment my clone was created, he diverged from me. I would not create the clone, and if possible I would keep keep it alive. But if it was doomed, I would sit down and compete with it in some of the areas I(t) am(is) strong. We'd have an argument, maybe play some chess, have another argument, then maybe fight. My clone would probably lose the first argument (due to disorientation and the identity crisis), lose at chess (same reasons, and we'd play speed chess to fit it in, which would also work to my advantage) maybe win the second argument (depending on whether or not I(he) am(is) smart enough to figure out I didn't engineer this, and am guilty about the creation of my clone). By the fight, he'd be angry, but also out of control and uncertain. Anger might be enough for him to beat me, but he wouldn't have time to kill me. And I might win too. So in the end, I would probably prove superior to my clone. I'd still feel really guilty, though.

Edit: This is assuming there are only two options. I'm not sure we couldn't work it out peacefully.

edited 13th Dec '10 6:58:55 PM by Ultrayellow

Except for 4/1/2011. That day lingers in my memory like...metaphor here...I should go.

People seem to have an aversion to fucking themselves. c'mon guys, we had two months of bitching because we can't talk about freaky sex. Now we have an opportunity to talk about the freakiest sex imaginable and we're backing down!

Is using "Julian Assange is a Hillary butt plug" an acceptable signature quote?