YMMV / Constantine (2005)

• Complete Monster: In John Shirley's Novelization: Mammon, son of Satan and worse than in the film, decides to kick-start the apocalypse and bring Hell on Earth. To do so, he takes possession of the scavenger Francesco, corrupts him with false promises of power and luxury, and drives him into a killing spree, claiming the life of ten people. He also sends assassins after Constantine and his allies. Abducting the psychic Angela Dodson, Mammon attempts to break her will by forcing her to watch human misery and crimes, and when this fails, offers her to be raped by Francesco. Eventually to rise on Earth, he takes possession of her body and attempts to have her sacrificed by his accomplice Gabriel.
• Creepy Awesome: Peter Stormare as Lucifer, and it's exactly as terrifying and slimy (but still somehow cool) as it sounds. Even people who hate the movie admit that this was the role Stormare was born to play.
• Fan-Preferred Cut Content: Scenes involving John's Friends with Benefits succubus Ellie played by Michelle Monaghan were cut in order to make John more of a loner. Hellblazer fans who were disappointed with how little the movie has in common with the comics think they should have kept the character who's from the source material.
• Iron Woobie: Constantine, he’s seen and been tormented by horrific demons since he was a child, committed suicide by overdosing and spent a good amount of time in Hell during the minute or so that his heart stopped beating. In the present almost all his allies get killed while he’s helpless to prevent it and he spends most of the film in the certainty that’s barred from Heaven no matter how much good he does and is as Gabriel says “fucked”. In spite of all this, he’s pretty chill and displays very little angst over his situation.
• Just Here for Godzilla: You'll find movie fans who usually frown upon comic adaptations agreeing that there's few roles in Tilda Swinton's career that suited her as perfectly as the archangel Gabriel.
• Mis-blamed: Keanu Reeves is singled for pretty much every alteration, including changing the setting to glamorous L.A. (Conveniently the city is always overcast or rainy, which makes one wonder why they didn't set it further east.) Rumors had it that he couldn't do the proper accent. In truth, casting Reeves was one of the last decisions after all the other changes had been settled on.
• Nausea Fuel: Satan rummaging around in Constantine's chest with his hands and ripping out the tumors by force.
• Nightmare Fuel:
  • Hell and the demons inhabiting it. Hell is implied to be a dark reflection of our world rather than its own realm. The demons are missing their craniums because they're only capable of sniffing the air for prey and devouring them.
  • The novelization is even worse, as it goes into some of the torments in-depth, such as the buildings being built from bricks that are actually damned souls (many of whom are inquisitors from the Spanish Inquisition among them), and describes Angela looking into the mind of the Scavenger and seeing herself being raped by him (Mammon had promised him Angela as a sex toy if he complied with his wishes).
• One-Scene Wonder:
  • Peter Stormare as Lucifer. It's not a flattering portrayal (he looks like all seven of those old Deadly Sins smashed together), but he instantly seems like baddest motherfucker in the room. There's a reason why Stormare is the patron saint of One-Scene Wonders.
  • Tilda Swinton as Gabriel gets two scenes that communicate a ton of character and lore without much dialog.
• Questionable Casting: Dark haired Canadian Keanu Reeves as Constantine. Shia LaBeouf as...well, pretty much anyone might qualify, but playing a character who is normally John's contemporary (Chas) is a bit odd.
• Signature Scene: Constantine flipping Satan off whilst he ascends to Heaven is easily the most iconic and beloved moment in the film.
• Signature Song: "Passive" by A Perfect Circle.
• Spiritual Adaptation: The movie could be argued to be a better adaptation of The Dresden Files than Hellblazer.
• They Changed It, Now It Sucks!: Add it to the stack of Alan Moore adaptations that have been shunned by their creator.
• Vindicated by History:
  • The film lambasted by fans and critics alike at release, as time has gone on many movie-goers have come to consider it a pretty decent movie, just not a necessarily a good Hellblazer movie.
  • Further vindicated by Constantine (2014) as well as The Sandman (2022) both of which to comics fans’ upset depict a considerably different Constantine from the comics as well (especially the latter), taking a lot of the ire away from the 2005 film for its changes. Over time more and more people have come back to the film, especially thanks to Keanu Reeves’s resurgence in popularity, now even fans of Hellblazer can admit the film is actually pretty damn cool and did get the Did You Just Scam Cthulhu? aspect of the comics right.

---