"Lemme get straight to the point, yeah!"
—Humza, at the beginning of every episode
Diary of a Bad Man is a (2010–2013) British web video series created by YouTube comedian Humza Arshad. It tells the fictional story of Humza's life as a British Muslim with his friends and family that usually interlude with a musical number or a vlog chat in which Humza talks about annoying traits in Asian society.
The series has sparked controversy, varying from the claims of negative "stereotyping" in the British Muslim community to the British youth's urban slang and the gratuitous Punjabi and Urdu. However, many critics claim that it's a satirical look on the youth in Britain and the Asian community and should be seen as a positive outlook.
You be the judge and see it for yourself here
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Lemme get straight to the tropes, yeah!
- Aerith and Bob: Humza, Asif, Umah, Jazzie and ... Dexter?
- All Girls Want Bad Boys: Heavily inverted. In this universe, the young women that all the bad boys try to flirt with either ignore them or feel threatened, resulting in the men getting beaten up.
- And a Diet Coke: In one episode, Umah point out that he's on a diet while he eats an apple, but is actually swapping a Mars chocolate bar between his bites.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: In an early episode, a group of young women he tries to flirt with beat him up and rob him. He later vents to the camera that they took his mobile phone, the money he had on him, and the socks on his feet.
- Big Bad: For the first season, Tony the Kala was the most feared bad man in the area. He tries to blow them up but fails. He is never seen again in the series.
- Bilingual Bonus: Most notably is other characters calling each other a "kuhta", which translated into English means "dog", meaning that the characters are calling each other bitches.
- Boisterous Weakling:
- Humza can be this, but has used this to his advantage when he had to deal with a former classmate.
- Jazzie often screeches about what he'd do to someone if they ever dared to attack him, but then tries bargaining whenever the person takes up the challenge.
- Butt-Monkey: Dexter, who is often smacked, and at one point dunked, by the rest of the group.
- Chained to a Railway: Which is what happens to Humza if he dares to walk in on her favourite program, except it's a road.
- Christmas Episode: Episode 3 of the first season has an episode about Eid.
- Chuck Cunningham Syndrome:
- Humza's "fat sister" is only seen once.
- Humza's brother is only seen in episode 6 from the first season and is never mentioned or seen again.
- Credit Card Plot: Humza discovers his mother's credit card that talks him into stealing it and spending her money.
- Dirty Coward: Umah. The entire conflict between Humza and Asif's gang (which led to Humza getting stabbed) was over his burger being stolen. Not once do we see him apologize for everything.
- Disability Is An Excuse For Jerkassery: In one episode, Humza gets mugged by a blind primary school kid, who wants £10 in exchange.
- Epic Fail: It seems that Humza can't tell the difference between a doctor's surgery and a dentist's surgery, and goes there twice for his diarrhoea and a baby scanning.
- Everyone Is Christian at Christmas: There's no Christmas episode (there is an Eid episode), but Humza often tells his viewers that he wishes them a Merry Christmas.
- Fat Bastard: Umah betrays Humza in the first season because he was mugged for his burger by Asif. He doesn't even apologize.
- Fever Dream Episode: Humza is attacked by his mother after she was stood up by him at the shops, and hallucinates an Affectionate Parody of Rebecca Black's "Friday".
- Fighting in the Playground: In episode six, Humza and Umah are attacked in a playground by Asif's gang who chase them around the monkey bars and up to the slide.
- Framing Device: Sort of. Many of Humza's experiences are played straight, but there are occasional moments when it cuts back to him in his room talking about what his thoughts were on the situation.
- Good Shepherd: Ali Khan, the local imam, to the point of living in a small apartment with a few belongings and a mattress with no bedsheets and/or duvet.
- Gratuitous Foreign Language: The show uses Punjabi and Urdu for nouns or just a Bilingual Bonus.
- He Who Must Not Be Named: Humza refers to the evil Tony as "Tony the Kala", even though he probably knows many black men named Tony.
- Heel–Face Turn: Asif does this after Humza is stabbed by one of his gang members and is almost killed himself out of vengeance, but then they become on good terms and become friends for the rest of the series.
- Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Mostly Humza's mother, who stabs him for throwing a snowball at her, beats him until he needs to hospitalized, and ties him up and throws him in the road so she can run him over whenever he interrupts her favourite TV show.
- Jive Turkey: Most of the characters use this, fitting in with the youth culture in London and the age of the most of them.
- Megaton Punch: Humza's father slaps people so hard, he can kill them.
- Mister Seahorse: Umah is absolutely convinced one episode that he is pregnant. Humza chooses to humiliate him, clarifying that it would be much funnier on his part.
- The Napoleon: Loads of gangs have a short member that delivers the final blow to Humza.
- N-Word Privileges: The show has received negative reception from Muslim and southern Asians because of Humza's frequent use of the word "paki", which is a racial slur for Southern Asians. In Humza's defence, he is probably using the word like how black rappers use the word "nigga" in their songs.
- Police Are Useless: There only seems to be one policeman in Humza's area, yet he only seems to be focused on giving people cavity searches at random. In a neighbourhood where there are gangs like Asif's and Tony's, and a group of Yardies, you'd think there'd be more than one cop hanging around.
- Random Events Plot: The entire web series. It's widdled between Humza talking about his family and things that happen to him in his area.
- Real Men Wear Pink: There are a lot of male characters that do very girly things for supposedly being "tough" men. Notable ones are Humza having Justin Bieber as his mobile's ringtone and owning a One Direction album, and a group of gangstas hoping to audition for The X Factor with "Call Me Maybe".
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Umah often runs away when he and Humza are about to be faced by a gang of thugs.
- Serious Business:
- Humza is stopped in the park by thugs who want to avenge him because he dared to break their leader's biscuit in half when he and Humza were kids in nursery.
- Umah betraying Humza because the Asif's gang mugged him for his burger.
- Asif and Humza's rivalry in the first season was over Humza throwing Asif's drink on the ground in their first meeting.Ali Khan: You started this war ... over, what? A can of Pepsi?
Humza: ...7-Up. - Tony's briefcase is revealed to be filled with rubber ducks and is desperate to get it back.
- Stealth Hi/Bye: Ali Khan rarely appears in a scene by entering through a door.
- Token Black Friend: Jazzie to Humza. He's apparently such a Token Minority, the only way Humza can describe him is by his race and nothing else, even though they've supposedly known each other for years.
- Token White: Many white people in the universe that show up are racist and short-tempered.
- Tuxedo and Martini: In fear of his life, Humza hires a secret agent, who turns out to be terrible at everything resulting in Humza getting kidnapped.
- Voice Of A Legion: How Humza's mother talks.
- The Vicar: Humza's friend, the Imam "I Have a Beard" Ali Khan.
- World of Ham: Many of the gangsta characters, to prove how threatening how they are, but it just comes off as hilarious.
- The Yardies: Tony the Kala is the only main character that is a Yardie. However, there are other Yardies that make appearances.
