Brain Bleach is also highly flammable.
Let's face it. We've all see things we shouldn't have: That one bad movie you saw with your friends in an attempt to mock it a la Mystery Science Theater 3000
, that crudely drawn picture on Tumblr featuring two of your favorite cartoon heroes in tawdry sexual congress
, your grandfather coming out of the bathtub or shower in all his wrinkled, aged, untoweled "glory", a homeless or drug-addled man using the open air as his own personal toilet (especially if what comes out is unnaturally colored), that vintage porn film (or porn mag centerfold) that starred a sexy, uninhibited version of a beloved family member (mom, dad, aunt, grandma, etc)
, a brutal
, painful murder
(whether on TV or in real life)...
Don't you wish you could just make these damaging sights leave your brain?
Well look no further! New from Trope Co.
®, it's Brain Bleach
Simply follow the instructions on the bottle* and you can wash away those dark stains on your psyche! That movie's Bad Bad Acting
? Gone! That head-exploding picture you saw? Poof! What picture? Those awkward, disgusting memories of your family in private? It's like they were never there to start with! With Brain Bleach
™, the mental hurt will finally go away.
works by burning a hole in your esophagus, allowing you to vomit directly onto the Squick Center
of your brain.
* Warning: Not for use on pregnant or nursing women, children under 7, marijuana smokers, those with bleach allergies/aversions, and Nightmare Fuel Station Attendants
and/or Nightmare Fetishists
. Overdosing on Brain Bleach
is highly dangerous. Dosage measurements must be exact in proportion to the amount of Squick
you have seen. Effects of Brain Bleach
overdose include short-term/long-term memory loss, permanent amnesia, loss of motor functions, becoming comatose, death, and a bitter, slightly metallic aftertaste
. Consult your physician if you fear you have accidentally overdosed on Brain Bleach
—if you can remember, that is. Not all traumatic memories go away with use of Brain Bleach. For permanent or persisting traumatic memories, consult a professional therapist or mental health support group.