The Grave Robber
Unscrupulous archaeologist Harold Gormley (Daren Kelly) and his sensible girlfriend Aileen (Polly Draper) travel to Egypt and sneak around the tomb of Amenhotep III, looking for discoveries of a monetary nature to take home with them. Eventually, the duo and their guide, Achmed (Ed Kovens), discover a tomb filled with treasure, but as Harold starts pocketing ancient jewelry, he awakens Tapok (Arnold Stang), a short-tempered mummy who was once Amenhotep's Lord Chamberlain, and now serves as guardian of the tomb. Having been tasked to kill any raiders who disturb the treasure he protects, he does so to Achmed, then nearly does the same to Harold, who cowardly throws Aileen in front of himself for his own protection. After some negotiation from Aileen, however, Tapok gives the pair a chance to leave the tomb alive, but only if Harold can best him in a game. Specifically, a round of strip poker.
Tropes:
- Accidental Misnaming: The opening act has Achmed accidentally referring to Harold as "Dr. Garmley" instead of "Gormley"
- Affably Evil: Throughout the poker game, up until his victory, Tapok is very polite with Harold and Aileen, even cracking jokes to them.
- Asshole Victim: Harold, who tried to use his girlfriend as a human shield against the mummy he dismissed as a brainless monster, is made said mummy's replacement, cursed to guard his tomb forever while Aileen is free to leave him for the same mummy.
- Astral Projection: Tapok uses the skill to travel to Las Vegas, where he learns how to actually play poker after all the incorrect tips that Aileen has been giving him.
- Breather Episode: After five continuous episodes of horror and emotion, the series finally returns to comedy with this incredibly goofy episode.
- Cannot Spit It Out: Tapok was unable to confess his feelings to his long-ago crush before he was mummified, but he gets to make up the opportunity with Aileen.
- Casting Gag: Arnold Stang is well known for providing the voice of Top Cat, and this episode has him playing an equally-wisecracking Egyptian mummy. It's appropriate as the Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats.
- Chekhov's Gun: The amulet Tapok is first seen wearing allows him to control the door to his tomb, so he offers it to Harold as the final prize in their poker game.
- Chess with Death: Or rather, "strip poker with a mummy". Thanks to some negotiation from Aileen, Tapok allows Harold to challenge him to a few hands in exchange for his and Aileen's freedom.
- Demolitions Expert: At the start of the episode, Harold prepares to use plastic explosives to blow open an entrance into Tapok's tomb, but the door opens before he can press the plunger. He attempts to use the explosives to kill the mummy himself, but they don't even phase him.
- Denser and Wackier: A whiny and cowardly grave robber and his much more sensible girlfriend disturb the tomb of a snarky, wisecracking mummy, and ultimately end up challenging him to a game of strip poker to gain their freedom. Yes, we're serious.
- Dirty Coward: Upon hearing that Tapok is supposed to kill the grave-robbing duo for disturbing his tomb, Harold instantly uses Aileen as a human shield and begs the mummy to kill her instead. Is it any iota of a wonder why Aileen leaves him for Tapok? Especially after the mummy proves to be smarter than he looks?
- Earn Your Happy Ending: Tapok is freed from his curse and is able to see the world for the first time in thousands of years, with the new love of his life by his side.
- Evil Nerd: Harold, who desires to rob Tapok's tomb of its valuables, has thick glasses, very little strength, and zero bravery, as he cowardly throws his girlfriend to the mummy himself to stay alive.
- Evil Versus Evil: The titular grave robber and his girlfriend are left to challenge the cursed, Affably Evil mummy they end up disturbing to a round of cards so they can escape his tomb alive.
- Homage: The episode acts as a comedic version of The Seventh Seal, given that protagonist Harold is pitted in a game against a supernatural being with his life on the line.
- Ignored Expert: Achmed keeps trying to persuade Harold and Aileen to just take what they want and leave the tomb they're looting alone. They not only ignore his requests, but indirectly get him killed.
- I Love the Dead: Aileen suddenly develops feelings for the mummified Tapok as she and him leave Harold to his fate, saying that she has a thing for "older men".
- Inexplicable Language Fluency: Aileen is surprised to hear Tapok speaking English when he wakes up, the mummy giving an offhand mention that he can speak the language of anyone who violates the tomb.
- It Amused Me: At first, Tapok greatly enjoys toying with the victims he's tasked to kill, even offering to amuse himself by playing with them before their demise.
- Jerkass: Harold, who wants to rob Tapok's tomb blind and uses his girlfriend as a sacrifice to stay alive.
- Karma Houdini: Though Tapok gains his freedom by switching places with Harold, he gets away with killing Achmed, largely because he was commanded to kill anyone who disturbs the tomb.
- Kick the Dog: Tapok is belittled by Harold as he goes into his tragic backstory.
- Likes Older Men: Aileen declares the trope verbatim as she leaves with Tapok, falling in love with the mummy for no reason other than to rub salt in Harold's wounds.
- The Lost Lenore: Tapok had a crush on young woman when he was alive, but she was indebted to Amenhotep, and he never got to tell her how he felt before he was mummified and made a cursed tomb guardian, reflecting on his time spent with her as the only pleasant memory he has left. Harold mocks him over it, enraging the mummy, but Aileen takes pity on him, inviting him to tell more of the story to calm him down. Tapok thankfully gets over it when he escapes from the tomb and moves on with Aileen.
- Moving the Goalposts: Aileen does this as Harold and Tapok play against each other, making up new rules to keep the odds in favor of her boyfriend. The mummy manages to circumvent this by mentally traveling to Las Vegas, where he learns how to actually win at poker from card shark "Lowball Jones".
- Neck Lift: Tapok does this to Harold when he awakens, nearly killing him before Aileen steps in.
- Neck Snap: Tapok kills Achmed this way right at the end of the opening act.
- Obfuscating Stupidity: As it turns out, Tapok was only pretending to be an ignorant fool during the latter half of the poker game. He actually outsmarts Harold via counting the cards and using astral projection to visit Las Vegas so he could learn real poker strategies from Lowball Jones, a professional card shark. He ends the episode escaping from his prison after thousands of years, making the grave robber take his place.
- One-Sided Arm-Wrestling: Aileen convinces Tapok to find new ways to alleivate his boredom other than killing her, Harold, and anyone else who violates the tomb, suggesting an arm wrestling match between her and Harold in exchange for her Walkman. Thanks to Tapok's undead strength, Harold goes down for the count in a fraction of a second.
- Rags to Riches: In a humorous variation, Harold reverses the phrase when he takes note of the necklace Tapok is wearing.
- Sad Clown / Tragic Monster: Tapok may be a mummy who's tasked with killing those who enter his tomb, and he has a passion for toying with his victims throughout, but it's during the poker game that we learn of his past, specifically his lover, showing that he's not as one-dimensional as he appears to be.
- Screams Like a Little Girl: Harold, to illustrate how much of a nerdy coward he is.
- Shout-Out: Harold and Aileen egging Tapok into various games, as well as deliberately giving him unwise poker strategies to undermine and deceive him is a reference to the Star Trek episode "A Piece of the Action", where Kirk and Spock do the same thing with their made-up-on-the-spot card game "Fizzbin".
- Smug Snake: Harold is as self-centered as he is unscrupulous, boasting that he can loot Tapok's tomb effortlessly before resorting to using Aileen as his shield.
- Spot the Thread: Tapok is briefly flattered when Aileen refers to him by his official title, but gets angry again when he realizes that she just read it off the lid to his sarcophagus.
- Strip Poker: The crux of the episode's plot is Harold trying to beat Tapok in a game of poker so he and Aileen can be freed from his tomb. It becomes the stripping variation because Tapok fondly reflects on how, as a youth, he and his friends used to play for each other's garments, since they had nothing else to wage against each other. In the end, Tapok's discarded bandages attach themselves to Harold as he takes the mummy's place, while Tapok takes Harold's explorer garbs as he leaves the tomb with Aileen.
- Stuff Blowing Up: Harold nearly blasts his way into Tapok's tomb through the liberal use of plastic explosives, but the tomb's entrance opens before he can blow them up. They're later detonated when Harold tries to get rid of Tapok himself, but they don't work.
- Super-Strength: Tapok possesses it, and he uses it to break Achmed's neck with one hand, beat Harold at arm wrestling in a millisecond, and take a chunk out of the poker table they're playing on. Tapok claims that the strength comes entirely from his bandages, as Harold gains the same strength when he's forced to wear them after losing, punching the poker table clean in half.
- Viva Las Vegas!: Tapok uses astral projection to mentally travel to the city, where he meets a card shark by the name of Lowball Jones. When he returns, Tapok uses the winning poker strategies he learned there instead of the bogus ones Aileen's been spoon-feeding him, allowing him to trick Harold into taking his role as the tomb's guardian.
- We Hardly Knew Ye: Harold and Aileen's guide Achmed, who is killed by Tapok at the end of the opening act.
- Women Are Wiser: Aileen clearly has more smarts and ethics than her weaselly boyfriend, to the point where she helps Tapok come to the agreement about the strip poker game instead of letting the mummy kill Harold right then and there.
- World of Ham: Everyone here's absolutely nuts, given the goofy premise of the episode, but Tapok, as played by character actor Arnold Stang, utterly steals the show.
