Do Not Open This Box
Charlie Pennywell (William LeMassena) is a sweet-natured struggling inventor who is content with the simple life he leads. His wife Ruth (Eileen Heckart), a greedy and avaricious nag of the highest pedigree, repeatedly makes it clear how she doesn't appreciate life the way he does. One day, the pair come across a box in the basement that has a warning inscribed on its lid, which firmly establishes not to open it. When the box is opened, Ruth finds out that it's apparently empty and throws it away, but immediately afterwards, a mailman (Richard B. Shull) comes to collect the box, offering Charlie and Ruth anything they want in order to get it back. Ruth is quick to extort the seemingly-average postal worker into giving her lavish gifts in exchange for the box's return, but as these demands pile up, the mailman's intentions gradually reveal themselves, prompting the couple to learn that the box actually contains something that money can't buy.
Tropes:
- Affably Evil: The demonic mailman. He gets along with Charlie and offers him his heart's desire for not being greedy, and when it's revealed that he's a demon who's been sent to pick up a soul rather than deliver it, he mentions it as though he were your everyday mailman picking up a package. Even when he takes Ruth's soul, he tells the mortified Ruth that it won't hurt a bit.
- Arch-Enemy: Ruth views Clarissa as hers, given that she married the millionaire she was attracted to and got all his money when he died while she got stuck with struggling inventor Charlie.
- Awful Wedded Life: Though Charlie doesn't pay her insults any mind, Ruth actively tells Charlie that he'll never amount to anything and that he's a worthless, weak-willed "junkman" she should've never married. She even threatens to stab him with a screwdriver while trying to jimmy the box open.
- Beard of Evil: After Ruth tries and fails to kill him, the mailman reveals a black mustache and beard as part of his true form.
- Berserk Button: Clarissa's existence is Ruth's button, as she got stuck with Charlie while she went on to marry the millionaire she had eyes on, then inherited his riches when he died. It gets to the point where she actively threatens to leave Charlie when she hears him appearing to support Clarissa in anything she says.
- Beware the Nice Ones: The mailman comes across as a bumbling sort of fellow who's friendly and polite, but when Ruth pushes his boundaries one too many times, he lets her know that repossessing all her riches is not an idle threat, and it's ultimately revealed that he's a demon who takes Ruth's soul to Hell.
- Big Good: Ruth and Charlie's wealthy neighbor Clarissa, who the former is openly envious of. When Ruth is taken to Hell, she drops by and gives Charlie a devil's food cake under the subliminal guidance of the mailman, most likely starting a new relationship with him.
- Big "NO!": Ruth gives one as Charlie attaches his Universal Fastener to the box so it can't be opened again.
- Blackmail: Ruth wastes very little time in blackmailing the mailman to spruce up her house when the postal worker offers anything she wants in exchange for having the box returned to him, and keeps lying that they haven't found it to keep the material goods coming.
- Bottle Episode: The entirety of the episode is set in the Pennywells' basement.
- Chekhov's Gun: Charlie spends the episode working on a Universal Fastener, meant to shut doors, gates, and other objects so they can't be broken into through any means. He finally perfects it at the end of the episode, and he fastens it to the box to keep Ruth's soul from escaping, after she previously released the soul already housed inside it.
- Cigarette of Anxiety: Ruth smokes one as she meets Charlie in the basement, after grousing about wanting a new TV.
- Dramatically Missing the Point: During the mailman's second visit to the Pennywell house, Ruth complains that the bracelet he gave her is said to have been "ostentatious" and the silverware he gave her was dented. The mailman then tells her that the bracelet previously belonged to Marie Antoinette, and the silverware was in Henry VIII's family for generations. In response, Ruth merely turns her nose up, voicing her disdain for having "used jewelry" and "eating off a dead person's silverware". This is meant to drive home that on top of being greedy, Ruth is an ungrateful and discontent woman who can't appreciate what she has or comprehend its true value.
- Earn Your Happy Ending: Thanks to him sticking with his gut instinct, Charlie is freed of the emotionally abusive Ruth, succeeds in his goal of having the Universal Fastener work perfectly, and enters a new relationship with the kindly Clarissa after having Ruth on his ass the whole episode.
- Establishing Character Moment: The first half of the opening act is dedicated to showing what kind of people Ruth and Charlie are. Listening to Ruth as she badgers Charlie for a new TV, the viewers quickly pick up that she's a verbally abusive nag to her kindly husband, who's also dissatisfied with her life and is openly jealous of her wealthy neighbor Clarissa. Meanwhile, in contrast to his abusive wife, Charlie contently fiddles away with his inventions, oblivious to Ruth's endless nagging.
- Evil-Detecting Dog: A neighborhood dog barks furiously whenever the mailman approaches the house.
- Expository Hairstyle Change: Ruth's hair is brown in the opening act, but she dyes it grayish-white once she becomes rich. It turns back to its original color when the mailman repossesses everything he gave her.
- Foreshadowing: There are a couple of hints that there's more to the mailman than meets the eye:
- When Ruth complains about the bracelet and the silverware he gave her, the mailman tries to point out they respectively belonged to Marie Antoinette and Henry VIII, making it pretty suspect for a simple old mailman to somehow acquire personal effects from long-dead royalty.
- Charlie also offers him coffee at one point and warns that it's hot, to which the mailman casually responds "It's never bothered me".
- Get Out!: When the mailman puts his foot down and refuses to fulfill anymore of Ruth's petty demands for material wealth, she tells him to get out of the house and almost calls the cops on him, prompting him to remove all the riches that he previously gave Ruth via a notice of repossession.
- The Ghost: Clarissa Sanderson, the Pennywells' wealthy neighbor who Ruth complains about and envies with a furious passion. She finally appears in person at the end of the episode after the mailman leaves, offering Charlie a devil's food cake and most likely going on to start a relationship with him; a final thanks to Charlie from the mailman himself.
- Greed: Ruth makes it very clear that she'll take advantage of the mailman's willingness to have the box returned at any means. Her negative qualities are amplified when it's shown that she can't stand owning material goods that weren't made exclusively for her, such as Marie Antoinette's bracelet and Henry VIII's silverware.
- Green-Eyed Monster: Ruth envies Clarissa with a fury, and her shameless attempt to covet her goods, along with taking God's name in vain and her attempted murder of him, causes the mailman to realize that she's an ideal soul for pickup.
- Hate Sink: Ruth is a belittling nag who never treats Charlie with any shred of respect or decency. She’s also an ingrate who can't contemplate the true value of whatever she owns, turning her nose up at Marie Antoinette's bracelet and Henry VIII's silverware.
- Henpecked Husband: Charlie is willing to roll over and agree with everything Ruth says, if only to keep the peace between them. It's reconstructed as his passiveness towards Ruth's shrewish behavior is likely why he hasn't internalized any of her cruel words.
- Humble Hero: Compared to Ruth, Charlie doesn't want to look younger, get richer, be surrounded by women, or any other of the worldly things that the mailman suggests to him. Instead, all he wants is for his inventions to be useful so they can help the world a little more.
- Inciting Incident: Ruth jimmying the box open with a screwdriver, which ultimately leads to all of her newfound riches disappearing and her soul being taken to Hell.
- Jumping Off the Slippery Slope: Ruth grows so determined to keep her wealth that she nearly murders the demonic mailman when he finally collects the titular box.
- Macguffin: The titular box that the Pennywells find and open.
- Motor Mouth: Ruth goes on and on as she alternates between ranting about Clarissa, rebuking Charlie, and demanding that the mailman give her more stuff. Her demand for the basement to become a media center even continues as the first act goes to commercial.
- Nice Guy: Charlie is a total sweetheart who doesn't let anything, be it a mechanical problem of his abusive wife, slow his passion for inventing. He's so lovable that a demon from Hell genuinely becomes his friend and sincerely thanks him for his Universal Fastener keeping Ruth's soul from escaping the box.
- No Name Given: The demonic mailman who desires the box.
- P.O.V. Cam: Ruth's soul being taken to Hell is largely shown through her point of view.
- Prove I Am Not Bluffing: When the mailman gives Ruth a notice of repossession after refusing to give her anymore goods, Ruth throws it in the furnace to prove that he's bluffing. Right after she does so, the whole house rattles furiously, during which Ruth discovers that everything the mailman gave her is gone.
- Rule of Three: Throughout the episode, Ruth asks the demonic mailman three times to give her and Charlie riches in exchange for finding and returning the box. The third time is when the mailman draws the line and tells her that enough is enough, repossessing everything he gave her.
- Small Role, Big Impact: Assuming that the mailman wasn't lying, he claims to Charlie and Ruth that the box they opened was accidentally delivered to their house by his nephew, who works as his assistant, via a "strange quirk of Fate".
- Stealth Insult: The mailman gives two regarding Ruth and her greedy, conniving ways:
- First, when she voices how mortified she is that he'll want to take both her and Charlie's souls, he comforts her by saying "One will suffice. We're not greedy." in a somewhat pointed manner.
- Then, when he schedules a time and date for her and Charlie, he says "Why don't I put you good people [down]..." before he changes it to "you people", indicating that he doesn't hold Ruth in the highest regard.
- Take That!: Once he's revealed to be a demon who picks up and delivers souls for a living, the mailman takes the time to note that he and his fellow workers usually have to handle a lot of deliveries in Washington and Moscow.
- Tempting Fate: Ruth finds the titular box when she rebukes Charlie, wondering when exactly the last time she and him were given anything that came in a box.
- Title Drop: The episode's title is blatantly seen on the box's lid several times.
- There Are Two Kinds of People in the World: Ruth tells Charlie that the world is full of "winners" and "losers" when they discuss returning the box, with Charlie obviously being the loser.
- Time Skip: After the opening act ends, the first act shows that Ruth has eagerly taken advantage of the mailman's suggestion of a reward for returning the box to spruce up the house.
- The Unreveal: Charlie first finds the titular box nestled among a collection of spare parts in the Pennywells' basement. We have no idea where it came from before then. We also never learn who originally owned the soul that was released from the box in the beginning of the episode.
- What You Are in the Dark: Charlie and Ruth learn that the box they opened was meant to transport souls, and the mailman who handles it will come back at midnight, intending to take one of their souls as payment for their mistake. Ruth nearly drives Charlie to murder the mailman while his back is turned, as upon hearing that they're a pick-up, there's a chance that said pick-up could've been Charlie's soul. The inventor has every opportunity to save his own skin, but he can't bring himself to do it. Ruth can, but this results in her being sent to Hell while her husband gets his happy ending.
- When the Clock Strikes Twelve: The mailman tells the Pennywells that he needs the box returned by midnight, tomorrow night, or he'll be in deep trouble. When he finds that the box was opened and that one of the Pennywells will need to offer their soul as a replacement. When Charlie can't bring himself to stab the first friend he's made in a long time to death, Ruth does so for him, stabbing him right as 12 strikes. Not only is he invulnerable to the act, he takes Ruth's soul to Hell immediately afterwards.
- Your Soul Is Mine!: The box that the episode is centered around turns out to be manufactured to transport souls, hence why the mailman claims that he needs it back unopened. When he finally discovers that it's been opened and tells the Pennywells that one of their souls will have to be placed inside it to make up for their mistake, Ruth ends up on the receiving end of his threat.
