“This Show is Called Squidbillies”: The origin story of the present Cuyler clan. Spanning from Rusty’s conception and childhood to his reunion with his father, Early.
“Take This Job and Love It”: The town sheriff helps Early find a job to provide for his family and stay out of prison. Thankfully Dan Halen has just the right occupation for him.
“School Days, Fool Days”: Early homeschools Rusty. Unfortunately, his methods prove to be less than helpful.
“Chalky Trouble”: The Cuylers hold an anti-white people rally while the Sheriff tries to convince them to change their minds.
“Family Trouble”: When Rusty reunites with his birth mother, he learns that Early may not be his real father.
“Office Politics Trouble”: Dan Halen begins to commercialize Early’s new drink that makes people blind.
Season Two
“Government Brain Voodoo Trouble”: Early and Sheriff visit a therapist when their friendship reaches its boiling point.
“Butt Trouble”: Rusty begins to lay eggs.
“Double Truckin’ the Tricky Two”: Dan Halen rigs the lottery so that the Cuylers win. However, they learn the lottery prize isn’t money but something much more dangerous.
“Swayze Crazy”: A legless man who is obviously not Patrick Swayze comes to town claiming that he is Patrick Swayze.
“Giant Foam Dickhat Trouble”: Early brings a rather inappropriate headwear to church and the town pastor (The Reverend) claims that it is upsetting God.
“Meth O.D. to My Madness”: Dan Halen sells Early a plot of land but it lands the Cuylers in debt.
“The Tiniest Princess”: On Halloween night, the Cuylers encounter the local monster folk.
“Asses to Ashes, Sluts to Dust”: When Granny is hospitalized, the family must find a way to pay for her treatment.
“Bubba Trubba”: The Cuylers discover that popular comedian Plumber Bubba is an alien brainwashing and sucking out the brains of his fans.
“Burned and Reburned Again”: Early resumes his relationship with Rusty’s birth mother, Krystal.
“Terminus Trouble”: Early, Rusty, and the Sheriff tour around Terminus Atlanta, and Early lands himself in court after beating up a baseball player.
“Survival of the Dumbest”: An encounter with another squid leads to Rusty questioning the various residents of Dougal County about the nature of life.
“A Sober Sunday”: Early must go through a full day sober when the town bans liquor sales on Sundays. Elsewhere, Dan Halen attempts to overturn the ban while the Sheriff clones run rampant across town.
“Rebel with a Claus”: Early ruins Christmas by kidnapping and ransoming Santa Claus.
Season Three
“Webnecks”: Rusty’s new interest in technology leads to a computer revolution.
“Beast Implants”: When Granny’s skin burns off, Early gives her a replacement skin made up of different animals. The skin begins to turn Granny into a feral monster.
“Tween Steam”: Dan Halen hosts a To Catch a Predator-style show and hires Rusty as the bait.
“Wing Nut”: Dan Halen uses Early’s DNA to create better chicken wing servings.
“Mephistopheles Traveled Below to a Southern State Whose Motto Is 'Wisdom, Justice and Moderation”: Rusty sells his soul to Satan to get better at guitar. A jealous Early tries to exorcise him.
“Earth Worst”: The Cuylers encounter a group of hippies who oppose Dan Halen.
“The Good One”: Lil gives birth to a plethora of new mud squids and Early gets attached to one of them who proves to be just as sociopathic as him.
“Sharif”:
“Condition: Demolition!”: Rusty enters a demolition derby and Early helps him prepare.
“The Appalachian Mud Squid: Darwin’s Dilemma”: A documentary about the Mud Squids is filmed and Early exploits his endangered species status.
“The Unbearable Heatness of Fire”: The Sheriff’s investigation over a fire that claimed the Cuyler’s home spirals out of control when it has a seemingly alien origin.
“Tuscaloosa Dumpling”: Rusty must prove his maturity in a number of trials.
“Armageddon It On!” The Rapture occurs and Early (along with Rusty) chooses to stay behind so they can loot during the apocalypse.
“Gimmicky Magazine Show Spoof Parody About Dan Halen”: Dan Halen is interviewed and his wide history of good and mostly bad achievements is discussed.
“Flight of the Deep Fried Pine Booby”: The Cuylers and Sheriff run afoul of a rare bird that Dan Halen wants.
“An Officer and a Dental Dam”: The Cuylers and Dan Halen discover that Granny may have had an affair with General Robert E. Lee.
“The Okaleechee Dam Jam”: Dan Halen hatches a complicated scheme to end a drought that is plaguing Dougal County.
“Pile M for Murder”: Dan Halen’s satanic ties take center stage when he hears a voice that tells him to build “Mount Murder”. Meanwhile, the Cuylers lose their mud.
“Mud Days and Cornfused”: Dan Halen presents the town with the world’s largest corn maze. However, the corn maze becomes sentient and begins to consume Dougal County, leaving the Cuylers to escape the growing labyrinth.
“Krystal, Light”: Krystal wins the lottery and both Early and Dan Halen get attracted to her.
Season Four
“Lerm”: Early sparks a friendship with a destructive alien.
“The Liar, the Bitch, and the Bored Rube”: When Early discovers that Rusty had been reading books, he sets forth to put an end to literacy.
“The Fine Ol’ Solution”: Early builds a border wall around his house to keep immigrants from getting in.
“Anabolic-holic”: Early angers a former wrestler that challenges him to a fight. Rusty is forced to go in his steed but Early has a secret weapon to help turn the tide: steroids.
“Confessions of a Gangrenous Mind”: Granny rambles to Rusty about things of no real relevance.
“The Big Gay Throwdown”: The Sheriff goes undercover as a gay man, but the others find that he has an ulterior motive.
“Atone Deaf”: Sheriff makes Early work on his anger after he trashes Ellis' bar.
“God’s Bro”: Dan Halen commissions the creation of a blackhole in town and unintentionally summons a godlike figure.
“Reunited, and it Feels No Good”: The Cuylers reunite with Early’s estranged brother, Durwood and his more human family.
“Not Without My Cash Cow!”: Part two. Rusty experiences life outside Dougal County with the Durwood family while Early and Granny enjoy the coverage they get about his disappearance.
Season Five
“The Need for Weed”: Lil has a secret drug operation going on under the Cuyler residence.
“The Many Loves of Early Cuyler”: Early marries the many women in Dougal County and starts a cult. The Sheriff and Deputy Denny attempt to put a stop to it.
“Dead Squid Walking”: Early’s father returns and ropes Rusty into a scheme.
“Young, Dumb, and Full of Gums”: The town tries to get fluoride out of the water supply. But when the plan works, everyone begins to suffer from tooth decay.
“Holodeck Redneck”: Sheriff and the Cuylers mess around with a holodeck.
“Frivolacious Squidigation”: When Granny gets grievously injured on one of Dan Halen’s attractions, Early sues him.
“Fatal Distraction”: Early’s GPS gains sentience and becomes a bit too violently clingy towards Early.
“Clowny Freaks”: Rusty gets into a rap band that has him dressing up as a ‘Clowny Dagger”. Early and Sheriff join in as well.
“Lean Green Touchdown Makifying Machine”: Rusty’s future is ripe with many possibilities when he gets good at football.
“America: Why I Love Her”: In this double-length Musical Episode, the Cuylers, Sheriff, and Deputy Denny, all must stop a terrorist plot.
Season Six
“Asbestos I Can”: Early becomes terminally ill and Sheriff tries to have his last wishes fulfilled.
“Class of ‘86”: The citizens of Dougal County prepare for the 25-year high school reunion.
“Velvet Messiah”: Early takes advantage of Granny and the townspeople by dressing up as Jesus.
“The Big E”: Early becomes the new town radio host.
“Keeping it the Family Way”: When Early discovers that Rusty has a girlfriend (named Tammi), he tries to break them up.
“Snow Daddy”: Rusty finds a new father figure in the form of a magical talking snowman.
“Ballmart”: When Dan Halen introduces the town to a new mega store, the Cuylers get jobs working in it.
“The Pharaoh's Wad”: Early becomes addicted to a video poker machine that starts to affect Dan Halen’s fortune when he proves to be too good at it.
“Return of Gaga Pee Pap”: Early and Lil’s father returns to make amends with the family.
“Trucked Up!”: Dan Halen hires Early as a truck driver. Naturally, mass chaos and destruction ensues.
Season Seven
“Rusty and Tammi Sitting in a Tree, B-A-S-T-A-R-D”: Rusty’s girlfriend, Tammi, is about to give birth.
“Beware the Butt-Cutter”: Sheriff and Deputy Denny look after a serial killer that is on the loose. Granny becomes suspicious of Early.
“Squidbilly Manfishing”: Rusty and Sheriff have a fishing trip while Early secretly gets plastic surgery to improve his looks.
“Green and Sober”: After a particularly debaucherous night, Sheriff encourages Lil Cuyler to go straight and become sober.
“Legend of Kid Squid”: Rusty is framed by Early but gets jealous when Rusty gets famous over his crimes.
“From Russia with Stud”: Sheriff gets a mail-order bride who immediately ditches him.
Season Eight
“Granite Caverns”: The Cuylers work at Dan Halen’s newest tourist attraction, a cavern full of granite formations. Early believes himself to be king of the cave after Rusty’s wall drawings are advertised as signs from ancient aliens.
“Ga-Ga-Ghost”: Early’s father returns as a ghost.
“The Inkubator Lives!”: Rusty becomes a vigilante hero and shirks his duties as a provider for Tammi and his son.
“Drone to the Bone”: Rusty becomes a military drone pilot while Early and Granny go to war against the drones.
“A Jailhouse Divided”: Deputy Denny challenges the Sheriff over his ranking.
“Stop, Jammer Time”: The new judge in town makes sure that Early is rightfully punished for his crimes.
“Thou Shale Not Drill”: In this double-length episode, a contractor hoping to fracture mine Dougal County gets entangled by the Cuylers mischief and soon finds himself more involved with the family than he would want to.
“The Squid Stays in the Picture”: A famous actor looking to immerse himself in a role for an upcoming movie finds inspiration in Early's chaotic antics.
“Gun of a Son”: Early shoots Rusty in a drunken stupor and accidentally breaks his precious gun when trying to hide the evidence.
Season Nine
“Hetero-cephalo Agenda”: Early’s protesting of gay marriage goes too far when Dan Halen pushes him to marry a murderous bear on live TV.
“Limbitless”: Early abuses his regenerative abilities by injuring himself on the job and making Dan Halen pay him.
“Taint Misbehavin’”: Dan Halen is diagnosed with cancer and finds solace in an ancient Egyptian religion that brings the entire town down with him.
“Ink is Thicker Than Blood, Which is Thicker Than Water”: Tammi begins a relationship with Deputy Denny and Rusty begins to doubt Randy being his son.
“Bunker Down, You Hairy Dawg!”: Early causes the collapse of society so he can use his new doomsday bunker.
“A Walk to Dignity”: While Dougal County prepares to unveil a statue dedicated to Sheriff's father, Sheriff recounts the story of how his father tried to help the Cuyler family.
“Granny Hotfoot”: The Cuylers are forced to become racing pigs.
“Sheriff-in-Law”: Early supposedly falls in love with Sheriff's mother.
“Hybrid to Hell”: Rusty and Sheriff replace Early’s truck-boat-truck with an eco-friendly electric car.
“Jose, Can You? Si!”: Facing deportation after discovering that he is not an official U.S. citizen, Early runs away and joins the recurring Mexican group.
Season Ten
“Lipstick on a Squid”: The Cuylers subject themselves to experimental cosmetics and drugs.
“Southern Pride and Prejudice”: Early fights for the Confederate flag while Rusty learns a shocking truth about the history of the mud squids.
“Trackwood Race-ist”: Rusty and his son Randy participate in the pine car derby. Early being the supportive father he is, competes against them.
“The Peep”: Sheriff tries his hand at stand-up comedy and almost gets himself killed.
“Vicki”: A woman from Sheriff’s past returns and Early gives not so well-meaning advice to advance their relationship.
“Cephalo-ectomy”: When Randy is bullied by his classmates in school for his squid-abilities, Tammi plans to have his squid parts surgically removed.
“Greener Pastor”: Early tries to provoke the new pastor.
“Squash B’Gosh”: A Cuyler business venture triggers the apocalypse during Halloween.
“Thanks-taking”: Rusty’s new dog becomes Early’s Thanksgiving dinner.
Season Eleven
“Dove in an Iron Cage”: In this double-length episode, Rusty is wrongfully put on death row. The town rallies to save him while Rusty experiences prison life before plotting his own escape.
“The Guzzle Bumpkin”: Rusty becomes famous online for doing reckless, painful stunts.
“Jacksonville Jackass”: The Cuylers and Sheriff go to Jacksonville, where Sheriff drinks more than he can handle.
“The Knights of the Noble Order of the Mystic Turquoise Goblet”: When one of his conspiracies may actually be true, Early and Sheriff infiltrate Dan Halen’s secret society.
“Ballad of the Latrine Marine”: Early learns an upsetting truth regarding his gender when he discovers that he is pregnant.
“Debased Ball”: Dan Halen constructs a new baseball stadium and Early becomes the humiliating mascot.
“Tortuga de Mentiras”: Early ruins the church’s volunteer mission and ruins things even more when he gets kicked out.
“Duel of the Dimwits”: The Cuylers (mostly Early) feud with their rival clan, the Duvalls.
“The War on the War on Christmas”: Upset over the equal treatment of holidays being celebrated, Early tries to make Christmas the superior holiday.
“Dewey Two-ey”: The rivalry between the Cuylers and Duvalls escalate as Dewey makes Early’s life a living hell.
Season Twelve
“Forever Autumn”: Dan Halen creates a chemical gas that keeps Dougal County in a state of perpetual autumn. Though it has Lovecraftian-like side effects.
“Galvin”: Granny’s new boyfriend pushes her to leave town with him, threatening Early to lose his favorite stress toy.
“Muscadine Wine”: In this double-length episode, Early and Tammi start a band together while Rusty gets jealous.
“The Reenactment of the Repulsion of the Siege of Cuyler Mountain:
“Rich Dan, Poor Dan”: Dan Halen becomes bankrupt while the Cuylers try to cheer him up.
“Cooler-Heads Prevail”: Early goes through the highs and lows of owning a premium cooler.
“Blue Lives Battered”: Early’s maiming of Sheriff becomes a viral sensation, leading to strife between the two.
“There’s Sucker Porn Every Minute”: Early enters the tentacle porn business and shows off his beak.
“Events By Russell”: Tensions boil between father and son when Rusty has a new party business that Early wants in on.
Season Thirteen
“One Man Banned”: The Cuylers get banned from Ballmart. When Dan Halen’s dollar store doesn’t fit the bill, they conspire to sneak back in.
“Let ‘er RIP”: Rusty works at the morgue and Early predictably screws things up.
“No Space Like Home”: Early reminisces the time where he and his father lived in a storage space during his childhood.
“The Scorn on the 4th of July”: Deputy Denny is determined to oust Early of his stolen valor.
“Zen and the Art of Truck-Boat-Truck Maintenance”: Early tries out yoga and finds himself completely absorbed.
“Who Gives a Flop?”: In spite of a new home security system, Early burgles the Sheriff's home and steals an important item.
“Ol’ Hootie”: In this double-length episode, a gigantic owl is terrorizing the town. With the Cuylers getting picked off, it’s up to the Sheriff, Deputy Denny, and a questionable ally to stop the owl.
“The Liceman Cometh”: A lice outbreak occurs in Dougal County and Early is the cause. The only way to end the outbreak is to burn down every single hat Early has ever worn across the show.
“This Show Was Called Squidbillies”: When Granny passes away, Rusty debates whether or not to move out of Dougal County with Tammi and their son while Early wants Rusty to stay so he can continue the family cycle of abuse and poverty.
