Original air date: 10/3/1993
The third episode of the first season of Rocko's Modern Life.
Who's For Dinner?
Rocko has dinner with Heffer's dysfunctional family, The Wolfes, and things get awkward when Rocko off-handedly brings up the fact that Heffer never mentioned that he was adopted, causing Heffer to eat away his sorrow and search for his real family.
Love Spanked
After learning that the unseen next-door neighbor he has a crush on has a boyfriend, Rocko (at Heffer's unwanted insistence) tries his hand at dating other women, which include personal ads and becoming a contestant on a dating show.
"Who's for Dinner?" provides examples of:
- Accidental Misnaming: Virginia keeps misnaming Rocko. She calls him "Jocko" and "Crocko". She does call him by his real name when he returns from the bathroom.
- Adopt the Food: Heffer was raised by a family of wolves who had intended to fatten him up and eat him (according to Peter, George even used to call him "steak"), but they came to love him as a son and passed off the markings for the various cuts of beef on his body as a "birthmark".
- Adoption Angst: When Rocko meets the Wolfe family, he lets it slip that he didn't know that Heffer was adopted unaware that Heffer didn't know and assumed he knew, causing Heffer to go through this. For bonus points, the Wolfe family originally planned to eat Heffer, but grew to love him and adopted him. Heffer himself comes to accept the Wolfes as his real family after meeting the spirit of his real (living) father.
- Ambiguously Gay: Peter is revealed to have taken up cheerleading, complete with wearing a pink dress. George does not take this well, and Virginia tells him that she and Peter were afraid to tell him for that reason.
- Analogy Backfire: This exchange occurs when George finds out that Peter quit school two years earlier:George: You're a loser! Why can't you be more like Heffer?
Peter: What, a 600-pound cow?
George: He's not a cow, he's a steer! - Ascended to Carnivorism: The Wolfe family sit down to eat a dinner of a moose carcass. Heffer, a normally herbivorous animal, joins them, and since he was raised by carnivores, he picked up their diet.
- Bait-and-Switch: When Rocko first meets the Wolfe family, Virginia tells Heffer that George is inside, watching the game. In the following scene, George says, "Come on, come on! What are you, blind? What kind of move was that?". It is then revealed that rather than a football game, he is watching a nature documentary, specifically a scene where a cheetah is trying to catch a gazelle.
- Big, Screwed-Up Family: The Wolfe family is interesting, to say the least. George is kind of a jerk, Virginia is a Stepford Smiler, Cindy is the typical melodramatic teenage daughter, Peter is a high school dropout who may or may not be gay (or, at the very least, a crossdresser), and Hiram is a Racist Grandpa, only he's prejudiced against wallabies and beavers instead of certain races of people. Heffer's biological family is actually worse. His real father disowned him (as well as the "millions of children" that have searched for him) for being ugly, his real mom was made into a car seat in Illinois, and his stepmom (who suspiciously looks and sounds like Heffer) is a sweet cow who's married to a Jerkass.
- Black Comedy:
- At the beginning of this episode, Rocko misses his family and looks through a photo album. The pictures of his Aunt Matilda and Uncle Barney are actually of their tombstones.
- Rocko excuses himself while at the Wolfes' house and finds a bunch of bound and gagged pigs in the bathroom mirror as well as a bunch of red-cloaked girls with picnic baskets in a closet, presumably waiting to be eaten by the Wolfe family.
- When Heffer runs away after finding out he's adopted, Rocko and the Wolfe family search everywhere they can for him. One of the places they look is a butcher shop (which plays out like George and Virginia trying to identify a body at the morgue).
- Dodgy Toupee: George Wolfe is shown to have one, and Peter annoys him so much, it causes the purple-ish toupee to burst and reveal tall white hair. George exclaims that Peter's actions have been turning his hair white, but Virginia assures Rocko that it's just a toupee. When George claims his hair is not a toupee, it falls apart to reveal his baldness, and he fumes that he'll have to get a new toupee (though he gets his actual purplish hair back later in the episode).
- Dramatic Thunder: Happens at the gravesite for what Heffer believes is for his real father, and when the spirit of Heffer's (living) father disappears.
- Drunk on Milk: Heffer goes to several all-you-can-eat diners to alleviate his sadness over learning he's adopted.
- Eye Scream:
- When Hiram sniffs Rocko, Rocko's eyes get stuck in his nostrils and get pulled out of his sockets.
- When at the dinner table, Hiram takes his eye out of his socket to polish it.
- Face on a Milk Carton: When Heffer runs away from the Wolfe family when he realizes he's adopted, they consider putting his picture on milk cartons. Then they realize that, as a bovine, his image is already on milk cartons.
- Foil: George Wolfe is one for Heffer's real father. Both are jerks but George actually does care for Heffer while his real dad disowned him and his million biological siblings for being ugly.
- Furry Reminder: George snarls when watching the game on TV and he bathes his kids with his tongue. The Wolfes also eat a giant moose ravenously.
- Happily Adopted: When Heffer found out that he is adopted, he was initially upset and went to look for his real parents. At the end of the episode, he comes to accept the Wolfes as his real family.
- Heroic BSoD: Heffer suffers one when he finds out that he's adopted.
- I Am Not Weasel: Hiram mistakes Rocko for a beaver, starting a Running Gag that would continue in later episodes.
- I Have No Son!: While looking for his real parents, Heffer meets the spirit of his real (living) father, who reveals that he disowned him because he found him ugly, just like his real brothers and sisters.
- Identifying the Body: Spoofed when the Wolfes go to a butcher shop looking for Heffer. They look at a butchered cattle to see if it's him; thankfully, it's not.
- I'll Tell You When I've Had Enough!: Heffer runs away from home after discovering he's adopted. A diner waiter tells Heffer he's had enough French fries to eat, and Heffer yells in response, "I'll tell you when I've had enough, you greasy plate jockey!" Then he tries to eat the dijon mustard stain on the waiter's apron.
- Inflating Body Gag: One of the home movies the Wolfe family shows Rocko is of Heffer's first bath. When Heffer grabs George's tongue, George punishes him by using him to plug the shower head, which he then turns on. Heffer's body inflates, then he flies across the bathroom like a balloon.
- Insistent Terminology: George keeps telling people that Heffer is a steer, not a cow.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: George may be a very angry person, but he does care about his family, and when Heffer goes missing, he searches everywhere for him.
- Manly Tears: Heffer cries these when he finds out he's adopted, in a later scene where he believes his real father is dead (his father's spirit tells him that the grave he came to isn't his, but rather one for a big wet cat), and when he finds out from his father's spirit that his father disowned him for being ugly.
- Missed Him by That Much: Heffer rolls down the road after being kicked out of an all-you-can-eat restaurant. As Rocko and the Wolfe family ask a pedestrian if he's seen Heffer, and he tells them he hasn't, Heffer rolls right past them.
- "Nighthawks" Shot: While drowning his sorrows in fries, Heffer goes to one of these. He's kicked out the back, revealing the diner is called Night Hawk Diner.
- Noodle Incident: One of the home movies the Wolfe family shows Rocko is of Heffer's fifth birthday. According to George, Heffer's attempt to knock down the piñata resulted in three lawsuits.
- Oblivious Adoption: Heffer was completely oblivious to the fact that he was adopted by a family of wolves until Rocko, who found it obvious, brought it up at the dinner table. Heffer didn't take it well at first, but when he met the spirit of his real father, who reveals that he disowned him for being ugly, he realized that the Wolfe family was his true family after all.
- Papa Wolf: George, both literally and figuratively. He's very protective of his adopted son when he's not yelling at him.
- Parental Abandonment: Heffer's vision of his Jerkass biological father makes it clear he wants nothing to do with his son, or any of his other kids.
- Present Company Excluded: This exchange occurs when George finds out that Peter has taken up cheerleading:Virginia: We were afraid to tell you.
Peter: See, I told you he'd have a cow. No offense, Heffer.
George: He's a STEER! - Racist Grandpa: Hiram. Before Rocko meets the Wolfes, Heffer tells him that Hiram hates wallabies, but he shouldn't worry because he's nearsighted. Heffer then claims Rocko to be a coyote, and Hiram scoffs that he's obviously a beaver and bullies him for that.
- Raised by Wolves: Perhaps a literal example; the Wolfe family did intend to eat Heffer, but they grew to love him and decide to raise him instead. Subverted in that the Wolfe family are sophisticated suburbanites, despite their dining habits. Heffer's lack of social skills is just because he is Heffer.
- School Is for Losers: When George asks Peter how school went, Peter tells him that he quit school two years earlier, which makes George angry. Virginia tells George that she and Peter were afraid to tell him for that reason.
- Stepford Smiler: Virginia seems cheerful enough, but she frequently twitches when her family acts dysfunctional.
- Stunned Silence: Everyone at the table becomes quiet when Rocko mentions not knowing that Heffer was adopted, since the Wolfes never told him. The only sound is a beating heart, which turns out to be from the moose they were eating, about to be swallowed by George.
- Token Human: The Little Red Riding Hoods kept in one of the Wolfes' closets are some of the few humans to appear in the show.
- Tropey, Come Home: The episode becomes this when Heffer runs away from the Wolfe family's house in search of his real father.
- Vomit Discretion Shot: Heffer returns to the Wolfes' house when he finds out that the Wolfe family is his real family after all, and George gives him a hug. Heffer warns him not to hug him, as he ate a lot when he was looking for his real parents, but George hugs him anyway. Heffer is about to throw up, and the rest of the Wolfe family clamp their hands over his mouth. The camera then cuts to a view outside the Wolfes' house as Heffer throws up.
- Was It All a Lie?: Heffer to the Wolfes when he finds out they adopted him. He even asks if "Heffer" is his real name.Peter: Dad used to call you "Steak".
- Wearing It All Wrong: Rocko brings the Wolfe Family an udder warmer as a present due to Heffer neglecting to tell him that his family are a pack of wolves. When Virginia opens the box, to be polite she wears the udder warmer on her head.
- Wolves Always Howl at the Moon: This episode ends with the Wolfe family on the roof of their house, howling at the full moon. Heffer joins them, but being a steer, he says, "Moo!".
- Would Hurt a Child: Implied; the Wolfe family keeps some red-cloaked little girls inside a closet, presumably to eat them later.
- You're Not My Father: When Heffer finds out he's adopted, he tells George, "You're not my father, you're just a jerk in wolf's clothing!"
"Love Spanked" provides examples of:
- Accordion Man: Happens to Rocko after Heffer pulls him out of the window, which shut on him after he found out that Melba has a boyfriend.
- All Love Is Unrequited: Rocko has an obvious crush on Melba, who doesn't seem to notice that he exists, and is in a relationship with a man named Dave.
- Bait-and-Switch Silhouette: On the Love Seat dating show, the audience participants end up choosing which female Rocko is going to go out with. A dead corpse chooses Date #3 (by simply falling on the buzzer), who has the silhouette of a sexy human woman, complete with her slender arms on her Hartman Hips. Rocko gets very aroused at the silhouette as the host describes her, but then the host concludes with "...your date, HEFFER!" To which "her" window lights up and the silhouette changes into Heffer's head from the neck up. Among seeing this, the hearts in Rocko's eyes turn into flames, and he deflates like a balloon in shock.
- Be the Ball: During Rocko's dating montage, one of his dates is a gym teacher who shapes him into a basketball and bounces him.
- Censor Suds: These appear covering Rocko's lower regions after he gets out of the bathtub after a disastrous date with Heffer.
- Check, Please!: During a dating montage, Rocko accidentally squirts his date with stuffing, then knocks her unconscious with his turkey dinner when he attempts to cut it. After this, he says, "Check!"
- Dating What Daddy Hates: Rocko comes to the address of a girl rabbit, whose father threatens to beat him up if he so much as touches her. When the girl rabbit makes a move on Rocko, who is nervous enough as it is and tries to let her off easy, her father beats him up.
- Everything's Louder with Bagpipes: During Rocko's dating montage, one of his dates is a bagpipe player, much to his disappointment.
- The Faceless: The only part of Melba the viewers get to see are arms and her legs.
- Gilligan Cut: Rocko is shocked to learn Heffer has set him up to attend the Love Seat dating game show and refuses to attend, but Heffer assures him to go and that he probably won't even get picked to date a woman. The next shot shows Rocko as a contestant on the titular love seat, nervously biting his nails.
- Growing Muscles Sequence: Rocko has one when he decides that he's going to ask Melba out and not let Dave stop him.
- Hartman Hips: When Rocko appears on the Love Seat dating game show, the Sexy Silhouette is of what looks like an attractive human woman with big hips. It is then revealed that this silhouette is actually of Heffer's head.
- Heart Beats out of Chest: Rocko does this when he sees Melba.
- Iris Out: This episode ends with a heart-shaped one, which a cupid resembling Heffer tries to fly through, but ends up crashing into the screen when it closes up.
- Loving a Shadow: Rocko doesn't really know Melba very well, but to him, she's absolutely perfect.
- Nice Guy: Dave, Melba's current boyfriend, is said to be this by Heffer who treated everyone free food at the restaurant and even gives Spunky a bone when encountering him before seeing Melba.
- Noodle Incident: When Rocko is devastated to find out that Date #3 is Heffer, Heffer apologizes, saying that he had to fill in for the third contestant due to her leaving to do a bikini calendar photo shoot.
- Oh, Crap!:
- When Heffer decides to help out Rocko getting Melba's attention by publishing his love letter to Melba on the newspaper under Rocko's name publicly without him knowing, Rocko's newly-founded confidence crumbles as he panics from seeing Melba pick up the newspaper and then panics again after she has driven away with Dave.
- After Rocko forgives Heffer knowing that he was trying to help him and believes that Melba hasn't seen the ad from him yet, Heffer has this expression when it turns out he put signs outside his home with the words "LOVE ME MELBA" with the arrow pointing to Rocko's picture to get Melba's attention. Not wanting Rocko to see this, he turns down the invite to a restaurant and just play checkers with him instead.
- Old Fashioned Row Boat Date: Rocko has one during his dating montage with his date who happens to be an elephant woman who sunk their boat as she attempts to kiss him much to his dismay.
- Rage Breaking Point: After Rocko's latest date from the dating show went wrong because Heffer filled in for the contestant, Rocko decides to just be confident enough to ask out Melba and not get Dave in the way... only for Heffer to announce he helped him by publishing a love letter to Melba in the newspaper under Rocko's name and he already panics from seeing her get the newspaper before driving away with Dave. As a result after Heffer tries to calm Rocko down, he snaps at Heffer by telling him he has enough of being a victim of his "dating schemes" and says that he wants him out of his life. This got Heffer in tears, causing Rocko to calm down and take back what he said while assuring himself that the ad wasn't on front page.
- Something Else Also Rises: When seeing the other two dates on the dating game show, Rocko's tail becomes rigid.
- The Voiceless: Melba never has any dialogue.
- Wingding Eyes: Rocko's pupils turn into hearts when he sees Melba. This happens again when he appears on the Love Seat dating game show, then they turn into flames when he finds out that Heffer is Date #3.
