Rod Serling: How nice of you all to come to our little exhibition. To the connoisseurs amongst you, those tasteful few who take their art seriously, we acknowledge with no apologies that you won't find the works of the masters here. Because in this particular salon, we choose our painting with an eye more towards terror and technique.
Death in the Family
Original story by: Miriam Allen DeFord
Teleplay by: Rod Serling
Directed by: Jeannot Szwarc
Rod Serling: A little American Gothic here, with the accustomed accouterments to mourning. Tombstones and tears, and the somber look of the bereaved. We generally cry at funerals out of a sense of loss; a poor, unfortunate loved one who will no longer walk the earth. He or she will simply occupy six feet of it, never to be seen or heard from again. Or at least, we make an assumption that that's natural law and we subscribe to it. But this painting here, and we admit this upfront, breaks that law. It's called: A Death in the Family. It offers up a new view of death, and it introduces you to quite a family, who live here in the Night Gallery.
Funeral director Jared Soames (E. G. Marshall) has a tranquil and opportunistic outlook on death, so much so that he wants even the corpses of the most destitute people to be given honor and formality that they were refused in life. That night, Doran, an escaped criminal suffering from a gunshot wound, breaks into the funeral home. He and Soames meet and soon find that they similarly had no family in life, hinting at a commonality. Doran soon discovers that Soames has been treating the corpses in his possession as his family, even hosting a "homecoming celebration" for them in the basement, and that he may have similar plans for the dying criminal.
Tropes
- Due to the Dead: Played straight with Soames, who insists that every corpse he is given be treated with respect and formality, especially when they had none such treatment in life.
- Establishing Character Moment: Soames being given the corpse of Simon Cottner, the friendless old man from the nursing home (which he later uses as part of his "family") by a pair of hearse drivers, asking for flowers, a tombstone, a minister, and mourners for what is said to be a cheap, community-funded burial for someone who won't be missed.
- "Everyone Dies" Ending: Doran and Soames become additions to the latter's dead "family", prompting the cops who were looking for the former to nervously leave.
- Face Death with Dignity: Upon learning he's been shot, Soames takes it in stride, plopping dead into a chair to join his fellow corpses.
- Humans Are Bastards: Near the end, Soames admits that he prefers being surrounded by the dead because they aren't innately greedy, hateful, prejudiced, or wicked as the living.
- I Love the Dead: Very downplayed with Soames. He treats the embalmed corpses he handles as family members to alleviate his loneliness.
- Living Doll Collector: Soames treats the corpses in his funeral home as friends and family. The ending shows that he's set them up to resemble a family celebrating a homecoming party.
- Loners Are Freaks: Soames, who views death as a wondrous and tranquil thing, and keeps a collection of dead bodies that he treats as family.
- Nasty Party: Soames positions his corpses in a manner that they appear to be throwing a homecoming party, with Soames himself and his unwelcome guest Doran joining them in the end.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: The cops who were hunting Doran promptly get out of the funeral home when they see Soames join his "family" of corpses.
- Together in Death: Soames succumbs to his gunshot wound and joins Doran and the rest of the corpses in their harrowingly tranquil scene.
The Merciful
Based on the short story "Soft, Sweet Sleep" by Charles L. Sweeney Jr..
Written by: Jack Larid
Directed by: Jeannot Szwarc
An elderly woman (Imogene Coca) appears to be giving her terminally ill husband (King Donovan) a merciful death by walling him up in their basement. However, the appearances in this situation are highly deceiving.
Tropes
- Awful Wedded Life: The wife views her marriage to her husband as a burden to him, hence why she walls herself up to die.
- Bait-and-Switch: The wife is the one who's sealing herself behind a brick wall to die, rather than bricking up her husband.
- Buried Alive: The wife subjects herself to this, Cask of Amontillado-style, as a means of bringing her husband peace.
- The Ending Changes Everything: The doorbell being rung and the man going up the stairs reveals who was really being buried alive.
- Mercy Kill: An old woman appears to be walling up her husband so he won't suffer in his last days. The ending reveals that she's actually walling herself up so she won't be a burden to him.
- Wham Shot / Wham Noise: The doorbell and the man going up an unseen staircase to answer it.
Class of '99
Written by: Rod Serling
Directed by: Jeannot Szwarc
Rod Serling: A most unusual graduation exercise now. Its title: The Class of '99. A set of numbers and a pair of eyes. We'll move behind them now to give you an idea why we call the place you're in: the Night Gallery.
A university professor (Vincent Price) prepares to give his class a final exam in oral format. The most important portion of this exam is the "behavioral sciences" section, where the students are trained in the concepts of hatred and bigotry, including assaulting and even killing other students who are different from them in race, cultural standing, and beliefs. One student, Elkins (Randolph Mantooth), becomes hesitant to shoot another student deemed "the enemy", and his beliefs start spreading to the other students, ultimately revealing the truth behind this exam.
Tropes
- Academy of Evil: The university where the segment is set, a school where humanoid robots are rigorously trained to impersonate humans. Or rather, the worst qualities of humans.
- After the End: There are implications that humanity has gone extinct. The exact reason why this happened isn't revealed, but it's hinted that the world's resources have been depleted through wars, pestilences, and pollution. It's for this reason that the robotic students are being trained to take their places, primarily by learning humanity's most negative characteristics.
- A.I. Is a Crapshoot: Elkins' reasoning of Chang not being "the enemy" starts hitting a nerve with some of the other students, infecting their programming. The Professor has the class shut down and restarted to wipe his thoughts from their minds, then convinces Johnson to shoot Elkins by convincing the class that he is the enemy.
- The Bad Guy Wins: Elkins is shot before his ideals can infect the programming of his fellow students, leaving Johnson and the others free to pick up where the bigoted and hate-filled humanity left off, and for the Professor to drill more of them in the art of prejudice.
- Establishing Character Moment: Early in the episode, the Professor shows his disciplinarian nature by mocking Johnson when he gets three out of four components of his first question correct.
- Face Death with Dignity: When it looks as though Elkins is preparing to kill him for the exam, Chang closes his eyes in anticipation.
- Grew Beyond Their Programming: Elkins manages to break through his programming by screwing up his duty to kill Chang, claiming that he can't kill someone without provocation. When his ideals manage to start reaching the other robots, the Professor has the class shut down and partially reset, commanding Johnson to kill Elkins so no further breaches occur.
- Humans Are Bastards: Whoever built the robots, they viewed humanity as innately screwed up. The Professor's final exam consists of his students showing violence and aggression towards those of different races, creeds, and backgrounds in their quest to pick up where humankind left off.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: The robots are trained to show hostility to other robots of different "backgrounds" as a means of replicating humanity.
- Rich Bitch: Female robot Miss Fields is derided as such by fellow female robot Miss Peterson, who rips off her necklace and throws it to the ground, causing Fields to spit at her.
- Ridiculously Human Robots: The robotic students and faculty of the university look almost human, aside from their inner workings, and the students are enlisted into the university to be taught hatred, bigotry, and prejudice, as humans once practiced.
- Robotic Reveal: Every character in the segment is a robot, as Elkins, who refuses to attack Chang because of his race, is shot by Johnson, revealing a smoldering mass of wires peeking through the hole in his face.
- Sadist Teacher: The Professor, who drills his students with lessons of bigotry and hatred against one another. He orders Johnson to shoot Elkins in the face when he shows mercy to Chang, and gives the class what looks to be a hard reset when Elkins' "going rouge" infects their programming.
- Spiteful Spit: Fields does this to Peterson when she is instructed to rip off her necklace and throw it away.
- Token Good Teammate: Elkins is the only robot in the class, possibly the university, who refuses to harm or kill another sentient being. This results in the Professor and his fellow students (after a reboot) viewing him as inferior and killing him while the rest of them graduate.
- Wham Line: "He's infecting the others. Deactivate all of them."
Witches' Feast
Written by: Gene R. Kearney
Directed by: Jerrold Freedman
Rod Serling: A bizarre little item here, offered to the gourmet who takes his banquet seriously. If, sometime, you're invited to a picnic under the moon, you might best check the other guests. The ones who didn't arrive in automobiles, who as a matter of fact, parked their brooms in the corner of the meadow. This little nocturnal clambake is called: Witches' Feast.
A trio of shrieking, hunchbacked witches (Agnes Moorehead, Ruth Buzzi, and Fran Ryan) eagerly tend to a bubbling cauldron in their den. One of the witches is dying of hunger, but is told that they can't ingest their concoction until their fellow witch brings the final ingredient. When said witch arrives, the others find that she didn't necessarily bring an ingredient, but something that really doesn't help her starving sister that much.
Tropes
- Bait-and-Switch: At the end of the sketch, a fourth witch joins the trio with what appears to be the final ingredient for their potion. It turns out she brought sandwiches instead, since one of the witches complained that she was starving.
- Denser and Wackier: It's one of the series' blackout sketches, so it's already comedic in its nature, but it's taken up several notches with the overly-shrieking witches and the final punchline. Rod Serling himself even describes the whole affair as "a bizarre little item" in his narration.
- Foreshadowing: The witches list their ingredients as though they were reading a takeout menu, which makes sense considering the fourth witch delivering the sandwiches.
- No Indoor Voice: The witches.
- Rhymes on a Dime: The recipe and incantation for the witches' potion.
- Shout-Out to Shakespeare: The sketch's protagonists are a trio of witches tending to a boiling cauldron, straight out of Macbeth.
- Wicked Witch: The protagonists of the sketch, though they're not so much evil as they are starving.
- World of Ham: The witches talk to one another in perpetual shrieking tones, never once lowering their voices.
Satisfaction Guaranteed
Note: This segment replaces Witches' Feast in reruns and on DVD.
Written by: Jack Larid
Directed by: Jeannot Szwarc
A hefty man (Victor Buono) travels to an employment agency presumably to look for a new secretary. The manager, Mrs. Mount (Cathleen Cordell), introduces him to a number of candidates, but he rejects all of them on sight despite their qualifications. He does, however, select Ms. Blodgett (Cherie Franklin), a klutzy file clerk who can't perform secretarial tasks well, but has the exact physical appearance he's looking for.
Tropes
- Affably Evil: The client is polite with Mrs. Mount and sincerely apologizes to the secretarial candidates who don't meet his standards, even though he's looking for a young lady to eat for lunch.
- Dark Horse Victory: The customer ends the sketch by choosing file clerk Ms. Blodgett as his new secretary. Mrs. Mount tells him that she can't type, take shorthand, or make coffee, but the customer only selects her at all because of one thing: her size.
- Formula-Breaking Episode: Given that it was made to replace the above-mentioned Witches' Feast, this is the only segment in the series that doesn't have its own unique painting in the Night Gallery. The painting representing it is actually reused from Marmalade Wine, which will be featured two episodes later.
- I'm a Humanitarian: The affluent man who appears to be trying to find a secretary, is actually looking for his lunch.
- Let's Meet the Meat: The client at the employment agency meets several women trying to find what Mrs. Mount assumes is a new secretary, but he's actually looking to eat one of them for his next meal.
- No Name Given: The cannibalistic customer.
- The Reveal: The customer is revealed to be a cannibal, and was looking for a secretary to eat for lunch.
- Title Drop: The title is the very first thing we see, hung on a plaque on Mrs. Mount's wall, as it serves as the employment agency's credo.
