Okay! You've convinced me!
"I loved Dablone, and I don't care if the whole world knows it! Ah, but that was a time in my life when I had a thing for big, fierce, brown-eyed, curly-haired, lusty, kind of scary marginalized Bohemians with sexy accents. Do you know how hard those are to find in Minnesota?"
—Mary Jo Pehl, The Amazing Colossal Episode Guide
Film watched: Escape 2000 aka Escape From the Bronx
The episode is available in the Gizmoplex here
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The Segments:
Prologue- In an effort to get some extra cash, Crow hosts a fraudulent charity auction on the Satellite of Love.
Segment 1
- With his auction having failed to turn a profit, Crow decides to burn an ant with a magnifying glass next to his pile of oily rags. He naturally ends up causing a fire on the SOL. In Deep 13, out of concern for Pearl's well-being, Dr. Forrester has put her in a home. Specifically, a tiny toy cottage with a window barely big enough for her to scream at him through. Gypsy volunteers to put out the fire and prompts the guys to race into the theater, since they'll be safe in there.
Segment 2
- Mike hooks Crow up to a biofeedback device to help him relax. His relaxation somehow causes another fire on the SOL.
Segment 3
- Mike, Servo, and Crow enjoy guy's night, with snacks, beer, and cigars to go around. It's not much fun for the 'Bots, since Crow has to serve all the snacks and Servo gets sick from all the beer and cigar smoke.
Segment 4
- Dr. Forrester notices that the show's ratings are dropping and is desperate to get them up again. Noting how every successful TV show these days features an adorably-cute kid to get big ratings, Dr. F introduces the "adorable" new cast member "Timmy Bobby Rusty". His high-pitched voice, constant lip-licking, and unblinking stare creeps everybody out, so Dr. F gives him the boot when he doesn't change the ratings at all.
Segment 5
- Servo swings in on a helicopter to help Mike read a letter in style. Dablone (Toblerone) inexplicably visits Deep 13, freeing Pearl from her prison and making off with her. Dr. Forrester is left totally confused.
The MST3K presentation of Escape 2000 contains examples of:
- Black-and-Grey Morality: Called "vaguely evil vs. somewhat ambiguous" by Servo.
- Boisterous Bruiser: "Toblerone", as they dub Dablone. The film comes alive during his brief appearances, and sags without him.
- Call-Back:
- "I'm Cherokee Jack!"
- "I'd better get over to the Zombie Nightmare set."
- "Lupita, no!"
- Can't Hold His Liquor: The combination of cigars and booze of Men's Night has Servo on the verge of throwing up in Segment 3.
- Comically Missing the Point: While explaining to Mike and the Bots that he put Pearl in a home (a playhouse), Dr. Forrester either doesn't notice or doesn't care that the Satellite of Love is currently on fire. Whether this is because he's evil, preoccupied, or just stupid is never explained.
- Continuity Nod:
- When Trash holds a "LEAVE THE BRONX" flyer up to the camera, Servo quips, "Hey, put that on still-store", harking back to Season 5 and earlier, when the show still read viewer mail... Then, at the end of the episode, they read a letter, something that had largely vanished by this point.
- An unusual in-episode example: Servo Can't Hold His Liquor in Segment 3, and is hungover with a bag of ice on his dome in Segment 4.
- Cousin Oliver: Parodied when Dr. Forrester tries bringing in Deliberately Cute Child Timmy Bobby Rusty.
- Deliberately Cute Child: Dr. F. attempts this with Timmy Bobby Rusty, but his blank unblinking stare fails to bring up ratings one scintilla.
- Department of Redundancy Department:Mike: He died as he died: dead.
- End of an Era:
- This is the final episode to end with someone pushing the button, although who has been doing it this season has been left vague.
- This is also the last episode to feature letter readings.
- Ensemble Dark Horse: In-universe and out, Dablone and his lusty ham quickly became a favorite of the Brains. The guys can't help but giggle whenever he appears, they cheer at his final appearance, and the film edit even cuts his death scene.
- Failed a Spot Check:
- A large barge floats past as the protagonists climb out of the sewer and are visibly armed with shotguns.Mike: Hey, uh, skipper, look at the terrorists over there!
- The Annihilation Squad moves down a road and completely misses the armed gang members standing either fully or partially visible to the sides of the road.Mike: [as they pass a manned arm on their right] Under no circumstances look to the right, men!
- A large barge floats past as the protagonists climb out of the sewer and are visibly armed with shotguns.
- Fake Charity: Crow holds his "annual" auction to help the Really Good Cause ("It's for the... really... sad kids with... hurt puppies...") . What's on offer: a penny, a nickel, and a dollar.
- Foreshadowing: The segment where Dr. Forrester announces that ratings are low, and tries (and fails) to boost them. What happens to a show if their ratings are too low? Well, either it gets cancelled, or the funding gets cut.
- The Generic Guy: The Dragon-in-Chief's under-dragon.Crow: Who's this personal injury lawyer who keeps showing up?
- God-Mode Sue: Invoked after a character takes out a whole army of Mooks: "He must be in God Mode with unlimited ammo!"
- Hoist by Their Own Petard:
- Crow holds a fraudulent charity auction, then accepts Tom's 75-cent bid on a literal dollar bill, so he ends up $312.31 out of pocket including his own rented tux.Crow: And next year, we'll lose even more! [muttering] Cheap heartless bastards...
- He also loses his prized oily rag collection and nearly burns down the SOL after trying to burn an ant with a magnifying glass.Crow: It's my fault! It's my fault! [Inelegant Blubbering]
- Crow holds a fraudulent charity auction, then accepts Tom's 75-cent bid on a literal dollar bill, so he ends up $312.31 out of pocket including his own rented tux.
- Hypercompetent Sidekick: Gypsy, as usual, coming to the rescue before the ship burns down.
- Inherently Funny Words: "Stop disinfestating us!"
- Only Known by Their Nickname:Blonde Gang Member: Dablone!Crow: [as said blonde] I want to be called Da Blonde!
- Overused Running LEAVE THE BRONX Gag
- Running Gag:
- Referring to the female lead as either "Rat Woman" or a vampire.Crow: [as a newscaster] Nosferatu was murdered today...
- Jay the photographer's oddly blase delivery of "If they see us, we've had it!" becomes a minor one.
- Crow keeps setting the S.O.L. on fire.
- Mike getting Trash's name wrong.
- "Don't forget to LEAVE THE BRONX!"
- Referring to the female lead as either "Rat Woman" or a vampire.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Pearl is immediately smitten with Dablone when he shows up, and runs off with him after he hoists the tiny playhouse up over his head and frees her.
- Separated by a Common Language: Crow continuously fails to get Mike's manly-man requests for another beer.Mike: C'mon, crack me one!
Crow: Oh, open a window, sure!
Mike: No, where's my 12-ounce girl, there, buddy?
Crow: Uh, we didn't bring any... girls, uh... - "Shaggy Dog" Story: One of the last riffs has Trash deciding he'll leave the Bronx anyway, which of course means the movie had no point.
- Shout-Out:
- Mike sings "Workin' on a sex farm!'' to the opening theme.
- During the credits, Servo transitions from his With Lyrics improvisations into "Separate Ways."
- Mike's "jettison the core" line listed below was a common phrase on Star Trek.
- Smoky Gentlemen's Club: Invoked in the "Men's Night" host segment, with Mike drinking, Crow trying to figure out what Mike is talking about, and Tom getting violently sick.
- Special Effects Failure: Invoked by Servo's "Hoo-hoo!" reaction to the awkwardly tumbling dummy falling from the exploding helicopter.
- Take That!: To The Godfather Part III:Servo: [on seeing "Andrea Coppola" in the credits] Oh, of course! There was a Coppola in it!
- This Is No Time to Panic: Mike, as he ineffectually swats at the burning oily rags with a rolled-up newspaper (which is also on fire):Mike: Prepare to jettison the core!
Tom: We don't have a core! We're all gonna die!
Crow: [singing/praying] Nearer my God to theeee~ - Tempting Fate: As Crow tries to burn an ant:Mike: An ant? Crow, doesn't that seem pointless and cruel?
Crow: Oh, like there's gonna be some kind of divine retribution? [...] [cue the flames] Ahh! My oily rags! - Toilet Humour:[two Mooks get fried by an electrical mine]
Mike: [as Mook #2] Oh what did you step in! - Unusually Uninteresting Sight: Dr. Forrester doesn't notice or care as Mike and the 'Bots panic while fire spreads through the Satellite.Dr. Forrester: Thank you for those kind words.
- Visual Pun:Dr. Forrester: Hi guys. Some bad news. Although I'm sure you could see it coming just as well as I could: I finally had to put Mom in a home. [zoom out to Pearl trapped inside a miniature children's playhouse]
- What Happened to the Mouse?: Although it doesn't get mentioned explicitly,
TobleroneDablone and his henchmen just sort of disappear towards the end of the MST3K version of the film and Hoffman pulls a Karma Houdini escape in a flashy sports car. This is because the Brains had to cut most of the final battle scenes for time. In the full versionTobleroneDablone and pals all get gunned down by the Disinfestators later on and Junior blows up Hoffman's car with a grenade. - With Lyrics: Over the ending credits: "LEAVE BRONX! BABY, LEEEEAVE BRONX! LEEEEEAVE BRONX! C'MON!" Crow accompanies on A Cappella electric guitar.
