An actor named Armin Burbage is about to rehearse, but he has a phone call, so he leaves, leaving his script and sandwich on the ground. Martha eats the sandwich, accidentally eating the script as well, to Armin's dismay. He thinks he's going insane talking to a dog, but she agrees to replace his sandwich and play. Then, it's revealed that Weaselgraft and Pablum are putting on the play, specifically a production of Hamlet, in one of their attempts at becoming millionaires.
The next morning, Martha wakes up and wishes Skits a good morning, but she says it in Shakespearean. She then asks the Lorraines to feed her, still speaking in Shakespearean, which confuses even her. Helen guesses that it has to do with something she ate, and he and Danny determined that she ate some Shakespeare. However, instead of feeding her more alphabet soup, Danny thinks the cure is to keep Martha hydrated and have her rest.
Martha, however, goes for a walk with T.D. and Helen instead, and annoys Mrs. Demson by complimenting her in Shakespearean. When they walk by, Weaselgraft hears Martha speaking Shakespearean and decides to use her to double his and Pablum's profits. He and Pablum lock Armin in the supply closet, pretending it's his new dressing room and the door is stuck, and decide to have Martha be in the play instead.
At home, Martha's soliloquies bother Helen, who's trying to study. Martha then answers the phone and gets asked to be in the play. She tells Helen, but thinks a "hamlet" is something smaller than a ham. Martha then goes to the theatre and plays Hamlet in the rehearsal, but she gets the "to be or not to be" speech wrong.
In Helen's bedroom, Martha tells Helen and T.D. about the situation, noting that her Shakespearean speech is declining. T.D. suggests feeding her more Shakespeare, but Helen has none and the bookstore is closed. However, O.G. has a copy of a Shakespeare play, so he feeds that to Martha. This, however, doesn't work, since it turns out that it was The Merchant of Venus, not The Merchant of Venice, and thus makes her speak in science fiction terms instead. Helen then feeds Martha a copy of Hamlet she bought from the bookstore.
The next day, which is the day of the play, Martha clams up, claiming she wants to "rest her voice", and with ten minutes to curtain, Helen and T.D. still don't know if it worked. They go backstage and hear Armin, claiming he's the star of the play. They let him out, then Weaselgraft and Pablum show up. T.D. concludes that they locked him in the cupboard, and the five of them brawl, ending on Weaselgraft and Pablum being locked in the supply cupboard themselves. Helen and T.D. explain what happened to Armin, who reveals that the book Martha ate is a students' guide to Hamlet, not the play itself.
On the stage, Martha summarises the play instead of acting. The audience hates this, so Armin Burbage shows up to do the play properly, and Martha and the kids leave.
This episode provides examples of
- Accidental Misnaming: Over the phone, Armin calls Weaselgraft "Wuzzlegraft", "Whistlegrass", "Wizardcraft", "Winklegritz", "Whipplegritz".
- Always Camp: Armin is a pretty dramatic actor, demanding a specific kind of drinking water and a bigger dressing room.
- Artistic License – Linguistics: At one point, Martha uses "wherefore" (which actually means "why") to mean "where".
- Compliment Backfire: Martha tries to compliment Mrs. Demson with "The sun doth bless thy countenance", but she yells that dogs shouldn't talk like that.
- Continuity Nod:
- Martha says that she thought the sandwich tasted "papery". She learnt what paper tasted like back in "Martha Sings". Danny later references "Martha Sings" by bringing up the time Martha ate a musical.
- Helen remembers Martha eating Polish soup and speaking Polish in "Bye, Martha".
- Cross-Cast Role: In-Universe — Martha (a female dog) gets cast as Hamlet (a young man).
- Eat the Camera: When Martha eats the sandwich and play, we zoom into her mouth.
- Evil Laugh: Weaselgraft snickers evilly upon hearing Martha speaking Shakespearean.
- Half-Dressed Cartoon Animal: Martha wears a jacket and no pants in her Hamlet costume.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: Weaselgraft and Pablum lock Armin in the supply closet, but then get locked in there themselves.
- Let's Put on a Show!: Weaselgraft and Pablum put on a production of Hamlet in order to make money. Lampshaded when Weaselgraft thinks there must be easier ways of money than putting on a play.
- Mirthless Laughter: Martha laughs nervously when told to break a leg.
- Playing Sick: Martha lies that she feels sick and fake coughs to make an excuse to leave the dress rehearsal.
- Running Gag: Armin keeps getting Weaselgraft's name wrong.
- Shout-Out:
- The play featuring in the episode is Hamlet.
- After demanding his name to be bigger on the sign, Armin says, "Make it so," which is what Captain Picard says on Star Trek: The Next Generation.
- T.D. thinks O.G. owns a copy of The Merchant of Venice, but it's actually The Merchant of Venus.
- Sophisticated as Hell: When Martha asks for food, she says, "Wherefore art mine victuals wondrous and soupy?".
- Speak in Unison: When the crowd wants to see Armin Burbage instead of Martha perform, they chant, "Bur-bage! Bur-bage!".
- Split-Screen Phone Call: At one point, Weaselgraft and Pablum, then Armin, talk on the phone on a split screen.
- Tastes Like Feet: Martha describes the book as tasting "worse than the bile of Venusian slugs".
- Voice Change Surprise: Even Martha herself is surprised at her sudden archaic vocabulary:Martha: "What odd words hath I just uttered? Verily, they be foreign, even to my own ears!"
- You Can Talk?: When Armin first hears Martha speaking, he thinks he's either hallucinating from overwork or the woods are enchanted.
