If I Were a Rich Man is an episode from Season 2 of Married... with Children.
Steve gets a high-ranking job at a bank that gives him greater income, and after Al goes there for a visit, Steve reports that money was stolen, making Steve and Al's family assume that Al took it even though Al claims to be innocent.
Beware of spoilers below!
Tropes
- Bait-and-Switch Comment: After Marcy clears up the misunderstanding that the bank simply had an electronic transfer on delay, it seemed like Steve was going to apologize to Al. But instead Steve tells him to keep his kids away from his Mercedes before leaving happily.
- Book Ends: Of Al coming home with no one there to welcome him (only the second time, Al missed the news report about Peg and the kids nearly killing themselves after discovering that Al didn't steal the money from Steve's bank).
- Being Good Sucks: Al learns this as he finds that not stealing money from the bank brings him his family's ire.
- "Could Have Avoided This!" Plot: After it turns out that the missing money was just a delay in the computer system and Marcy points out that anyone could've taken $1 million from the bank and disappeared during that time, Peg, Kelly and Bud grow despondent that Al chose not to steal the money.
- Driven to Suicide: After truly learning that Al really did not take the money even after he claimed so several times for the weekend, a news report reveals that Peg and the kids attempted suicide by threatening to jump off the Sears Tower. When they were finally talked out of it, Peg wailed, "SHOES! HE SELLS SHOES!"
- Entitled Bitch: Peg exhibits this trope when she suspects Al is trying to keep his fortune from her.Peg: I made your breakfasts! I had your children! I even went to the bathroom after you! I've earned that money as if I had taken it myself!
- Extremely Short Timespan: The episode goes from a Friday night and ends on a Monday night - with most of the episode happening in the weekends.
- Freeze-Frame Bonus: As Steve gives himself a car loan with the bank, you can see to the very left Al entering the vault.
- Jerkass Ball:
- Steve only came to the Bundys' house at the beginning just to rub in his new high-paying job in Al's face.
- Peg and the kids make it clear to Al they don't care if he gets arrested or not, they're only interested in if Al really did steal money from the bank.
- Manipulative Bastard: Al is able to exploit his family into giving him his long waited treatment of royalty so long as they think he has the money. But the family overdo it - they feed him and pamper him with back rubs to the point he can't eat any more or take any more massages and goes back to insisting he never stole money from Steve's bank.
- Prison Rape: Steve vows Al will suffer this as karma for allegedly stealing money from the bank when he and Al get arrested for the missing million dollars.Steve: (to Al) If I'm going to be playing in the showers with maniacs, you're going to be the one passing the soap!
- What's In It For Me?: Asked by Kelly (then added on by Peg) to Al when he asks them for breakfast as they think Al is hiding his fortune from them. Al manipulates them that they have to earn his respect so they can get his "money", and then the family hustles making a huge breakfast of eggs, bacon, pancakes, croissants, toast and orange juice.
