"I was a five-star man before the internet and I'm damn sure a five-star man now, okay?"
— Dennis
The gang decides to host group dating in the bar as a way to both attract more customers and find their potential love matches. While Frank attempts to coach Mac and Charlie on the intricacies of impressing the ladies, Dennis becomes obsessed with a website that allows women to give their dates star ratings and Dee decides to give the men of Philadelphia a taste of their own medicine by giving them all one-star ratings after sleeping with them.
This episode provides examples of the following tropes:
- Accidental Misnaming: Frank, while trying to pick up women, does this to himself (he calls himself "Frak").
- A Man Is Always Eager: The men Dee insult with bad ratings couldn't care less; they're just happy for the sex and come back for more despite Dee's ratings.
- The Blind Leading the Blind: Frank's attempts at teaching Mac and Charlie how to impress women.
- Break the Haughty: Dennis has a meltdown when the girls he group dates keep giving him low online ratings.Dennis: I'M A FIVE-STAR MAN!!
- Call-Back: The waiter who escorts Dennis out of Guigino's is the same one whose shoelaces Dee tied together in "The Gang Dines Out".
- Captain Obvious:Charlie: I don't know if you guys have noticed this, but like... I'm kind of having a hard time closing the deal with the Waitress.
Dee: Is he...?
Dennis: Yeah, we've noticed. - Comically Missing the Point: Mac and Charlie completely miss the fact that Dennis is just pretending to have a dog in order to impress the women.
- Compliment Backfire:Dennis: While I don't particularly find you conventionally attractive, I do find you oddly sexy.
Becky: Excuse me?
Dennis: That was a compliment. Sorry, that came out weird. - Continuity Nod:
- The D.E.N.N.I.S. system is referenced repeatedly.
- Mac states that the Waitress wanted to do "hand stuff" with him.
- Dennis refers to Charlie and Mac as the men who eat trash and bang transsexuals respectively.
- Charlie’s profile picture on the Raters website is the same one taken for his first dating profile. He also brings cheese to his group date, just like he did (disastrously) in that episode.
- Dee notes that Dennis rates his sex tapes with stars, and he later destroys them during his "rough patch".
- Continuity Porn / Costume Porn: The Mr. Sandman montage takes place over about two weeks, showing off many of Charlie, Mac, and Dennis' shirts from various earlier episodes.
- Crazy Cat Lady: Charlie is a male version, something that Frank is worried might be off-putting to his potential dates.
- Digging Yourself Deeper: Dee's attempts to explain why she has a promise ring to the guy she thought she was dating after he makes it abundantly clear that they're not. First of all she claims that it's a cock ring, and when the guy points out that it's kind of small she says it's her father's.
- Does This Remind You of Anything?: Dennis screaming about how he's going to "rate" every woman in the restaurant sounds an awful lot like he's threatening to do something else.
- Epic Fail: Frank getting his own name wrong while trying to demonstrate to Mac and Charlie how to pick up women."How ya doin', ladies? I'm Frak. Oh, shit! *fweeeet!*
- Everybody Calls Him "Barkeep":Dennis: From now on, Waitress, I promise to be nice and true.
Waitress: I have a name.
Dennis: Do you want the ring or not? - Hypocritical Humor: Lampshaded by Dee when Dennis calls her out for stringing men along and crushing them emotionally.Dee: You've been doing that to women for years.
Dennis: Yes, but I don't rate them online for everyone to see!
Dee: Don't all your sex tapes have star ratings?- Hypocrite Has a Point: Although Dennis does have a point that his sex tapes, while horrible, are not public, so they're not really comparable kinds of horrible. This brief argument has shades of Both Sides Have a Point.
- I Take Offence to That Last One: Inverted with Mac. When Dennis, at the end of the episode, points out how the characters ignore their own faults, he claims Mac is delusional about being tough, and heterosexual. Mac rebuts the claim about being weak, but doesn't try to say he isn't gay.Dennis: You get your self-worth from when you convince yourself that you're tough and that you're straight.
Mac: I am tough! - Insult Backfire: After Dee is unceremoniously dumped by the guy she thought was her boyfriend, she decided to get revenge on the entire male gender by sleeping with every man who comes through the bar and then rating them one star. Of course, the men don't actually care about the ratings and just want to sleep with her.
- It's A Small Net After All: Dee reveals to the gang that there is a website that rates people on how well a date goes. All of them are somehow on it, Mac and Charlie have two stars out of five while Dennis is one star. This causes a Sanity Slippage for Dennis, who thinks he is the perfect date and sexual partner, and begins accusing everyone of using the website.
- Kick the Dog: A literal example, as Charlie mentions that he once kicked a dog for biting the Waitress, much to the disgust of his date.
- Lousy Lovers Are Losers: Dee attempts to invoke this when using a dating website that allows women to give their dates star ratings. She sleeps with several men and rates them all a "1", thinking they will all be livid or distraught at the idea they're such lousy lovers but this ends up backfiring since she discovers most men actually don't care and are just happy for the sex and come back for more despite Dee's bad ratings.
- Love Martyr: Despite all the horrible things he's done to her in the past, the Waitress still jumps on the chance to go on a date with Dennis and looks over the moon when she thinks that he's proposing to her.
- Madness Mantra: Dennis is reduced to screaming, "I'M A FIVE-STAR MAN!!" after it starts to sink in for him that the women he beds or even just courts don't exactly have a high opinion of him to say the least.
- Mondegreen Gag: Dennis starts believing his rating on the dating website is being intentionally bombed and starts ranting that he's going to "Rate" anyone and everyone. The way he keeps screaming things like "I'm going to rate your wife!" makes it sound like he is saying "Rape."
- No Social Skills: The entire gang to some extent, but Mac and Charlie are by far the worst at pretending to be normal.
- Oddly Small Organization: The fact the gang also appear to be the only employees of Paddy's becomes an issue where their group dating program fizzles out because they were participating in the group dating, and weren't actually serving the customers.
- Orphaned Punchline:Frank: So he had the mule...
Mac: ...but he forgot the water...
Charlie: ...and then the guy looks at me and says, "Wait a second, where am I? In Ohio?!"
[All laugh] - Overly-Nervous Flop Sweat: Mac states that he's so nervous he's "sweating through his pants" before the girls arrive for their first date.
- Pet the Dog: Dennis gives what seems like a genuinely sincere (for him) apology to the Waitress for the way he's treated her in the past, claiming that he now knows how it feels to be in her position. Of course, he ruins it mere seconds later by completely freaking out when she admits she can't give him a rating because she doesn't have the internet.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: Mac twice tries to tell a joke about a "Dago fisherman", and also states that he doesn't want to date any Jews.Mac: I'm sorry, I'm just concerned that the person I'm gonna be dating killed the savior of the world!
- Really Gets Around: Dee is the only member of the gang to have any success in getting dates, and the guys are grudgingly impressed by her prowess. Though this is justified, as there is statistical evidence that women do significantly better with online dating. Because A Man Is Always Eager.
- Rousing Speech: Dennis gives a somewhat cynical version at the end of the episode, telling the rest of the gang that they don't need anybody else's approval because it's their own self-delusion that allows them to keep going.
- Sanity Ball: This episode's holder, with most of his screen time devoted to trying to teach Mac and Charlie how to be normal, is Frank.
- Sexiness Score: Dennis becomes obsessed with a website that allows women to give their dates star ratings, but ends up having a full-on meltdown when he keeps getting one and zero star ratings, ranting that he's a "five-star man" and destroying all his sex tapes. Dee, who's in a man-hating mood, decides to use the site, sleeping with several men and rating them all a "1", but this ends up backfiring since she discovers most men couldn't care less and they're just happy for the sex and come back for more despite Dee's ratings.
- Sleeps with Everyone but You: Both Mac and Dennis comment on the fact that the Waitress has seemingly slept with everybody but Charlie.
- Small Name, Big Ego: The result of Dennis's breakdown is largely his insistence that the ratings he's been given are wrong, despite his histrionic attitude, self-centeredness, and emotional abuse of his partners suggesting that they're accurate. "The D.E.N.N.I.S. System" suggested that a good chunk of his ego comes from his belief that he has women wrapped around his finger, so having quantitative proof that they don't like him proves horrifying to him.
- Social Media Is Bad: The dating site causes Dee to date several men low as a means of empowerment, and Dennis becoming singularly obsessed with high ratings.
- Strange Minds Think Alike:
- Dennis and Dee both have the exact same response to customers trying to get a drink; namely, telling them to go ask "one of the other ones".
Dennis: The other ones. The bird lady, the troll man, ask them for a drink.
Dee: Ask one of the other ones. The dirty one or the gay one.- Also, Dennis and Dee both bringing a dog leash to make up a story about their rescue dog that they lost for sympathy points, and both having a system that involves manipulating and sleeping with the people they date.
- Too Much Information: Dee's reaction when Frank casually mentions in the middle of their conversation that his cock ring is sliding off.Dee: Why my father is talking to me with a cinch around his penis is beyond my grasp.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Charlie offers Mac some cheese to calm his nerves before the guys' first date.
- Unishment: Dee started hooking up with a new guy every night and shoving them out in the morning, and would rate them 1 star on the website as her way of feeling empowered. She comes to realize that sleeping with a guy and marking them down on a website they likely don't use is not exactly a turn off, and she's having to fend off a number of guys looking for another meaningless hood-up.
- Villainous Breakdown: Dennis has a full-on meltdown when he keeps getting one and zero star ratings, ranting that he's a "five-star man" and destroying all his sex tapes.
