After the American adaptation of Jolly Farm Revue is canceled so the host (voiced by Anne Hathaway) can get fertility treatments, Peter creates his own kids show on local-access television. Meanwhile, Meg becomes an intern for Dr. Hartman.
"You Can't Do That On Television Peter" contains examples of (YMMV goes here):
- Depraved Kids' Show Host: Peter, though it's more in the sense of "He's an idiot who doesn't know anything about making a show kid-friendly." He reads his Lesbian Butts in '80s Jeans book to kids, pushes around a little boy who confessed to being bullied, and endangered the audience's life with his "Who's on First" act with a puma. Off-camera, he essentially admits to Lois that he is hosting the show to have access to 3-year-old girls.
- The Fool and What an Idiot: Peter, with his "Who's On First" act with a puma, ignorant that the puma is a wild animal and gets spooked by loud noises and bright lights (which a TV studio has). Even more foolhardy: He pokes at the puma before opening the cage to begin the act.
- Idiot Ball:
- Dr. Hartman, a licensed medical doctor who does not even know the very basics of being a doctor — such as doing a blood transfusion that could save Peter's life.
- Peter, for his puma act.
- Jerk with the Heart of a Jerk: Peter is presented this way throughout the episode, which a lot of fans (and Internet reviewers) didn't like.
- Literal Metaphor: Peter says, "I'd rather watch paint dry," — and is shown peeping on an athropomorphized can of paint drying herself off after coming out of the shower.
- Muse Abuse: Peter's "Saggy Naggy" puppet.
- No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: The children and Stewie dish this to Lois at the supermarket.
- Too Dumb to Live: Peter letting a puma on his show.
- Ungrateful Bastard: Meg saves Peter's life and he doesn't even thank her for it.
- Who's on First?: Peter brings a live puma into the studio to attempt to do the routine, with the puma playing Abbott's part. The puma (predictably) mauls Peter ... but later visits him in the hospital to tell him that he understands the joke.