Airdate: April 1, 2012.
After the American adaptation of Jolly Farm Revue is canceled so the host (voiced by Anne Hathaway) can get fertility treatments, Peter creates his own kids show on local-access television. Meanwhile, Meg becomes an intern for Dr. Hartman.
"You Can't Do That On Television Peter" contains examples of (YMMV goes here):
- Chekhov's Gun: Meg's time at the hospital came in handy at the climax.
- Depraved Kids' Show Host: Peter. He reads his Lesbian Butts in '80s Jeans book to kids, pushes around a little boy who confessed to being bullied, and endangered the audience's life with his "Who's on First" act with a puma. Also, his "learn along song" consists solely of calling everyone in the state of Kentucky "dicks". Off-camera, he essentially admits to Lois that he is hosting the show to have access to 3-year-old girls. He currently provides the page image.
- The Fool: Peter, with his "Who's On First" act with a puma, ignorant that the puma is a wild animal and gets spooked by loud noises and bright lights (which a TV studio has). Even more foolhardy: He pokes at the puma before opening the cage to begin the act.
- Hand Puppet Mockery: Peter has a character named "Saggy Naggy", a cantankerous and bossy hand puppet modelled after Lois that all the children hated. It got so bad that she ended up being pelted with various items by random children and being beaten with a golf club by Stewie. Lois calls out Peter for portraying her as "a raging puppet bitch".
- Hypocritical Humor: While hosting Petey's Funhouse, Peter talks of how bullying isn't okay, then starts bullying one kid he encourages to speak out when the boy admits that he reacted to bullying by peeing himself.
- Idiot Ball:
- Dr. Hartman, a licensed medical doctor who does not even know the very basics of being a doctor — such as doing a blood transfusion that could save Peter's life.
- Peter letting a live puma on his show.
- Italian-American Caricature: Peter says his life without a TV show would be like an Italian mother without bad kids. It then shows a cutaway gag where it shows an Italian-American woman yelling at her sons for being such delinquents when they're shown to be mild-mannered straight-A students.
- Literal Metaphor: Peter says, "I'd rather watch paint dry," — and is shown peeping on an athropomorphized can of paint drying herself off after coming out of the shower.
- Muse Abuse: Peter's "Saggy Naggy" puppet.
- No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: The children (including Stewie) dish this out to Lois at the supermarket.
- Save the Jerk: Peter is attacked by a puma and becomes badly injured. Having done well in biology class, Meg gives a bleeding Peter first aid (despite how emotionally abusive he is to her). Upon waking up, Peter barely even acknowledges Meg and just tells her to hand him a glass of water.
- Teeny Weenie: While it has been implied before that Peter has a small penis, it is implied in this episode that it's smaller than Stewie's.
- Take That!: At Kentucky."Kentucky is a state. Kentucky is a state. All the people there are dicks, Kentucky is a state".
- Too Dumb to Live: Peter letting a puma on his show, then poking at it while asking it "who's on first". It mauls him.
- Ungrateful Bastard: Meg saves Peter's life and he doesn't even thank her for it.Meg: Isn't anybody gonna thank me?
Peter: Yeah, I'll have a water if you're getting one. - Who's on First?: Peter brings a live puma into the studio to attempt to do the routine, with the puma playing Abbott's part. The puma (predictably) mauls Peter... but later visits him in the hospital to tell him that he understands the joke.
