Dan has a date, and, wanting to look his best for Becky, goes to the barber. The barber, unbeknownst to Dan, is Becky's father. Displeased to discover his daughter is dating the likes of Dan, the barber gives him a Traumatic Haircut. Dan seeks revenge by following the barber to his cabin on a lake, and giving him a Traumatic Haircut in return.
The barber then threatens to kill him.
Apparently, Dan insulted not only the barber, but the Hallowed Society of Barber Surgeons. Dan finds a loophole to the vendetta: He must defeat the barber at a haircut contest, the sacred ritual of "Taglio di Capelli". If he loses, obviously, the barber gets to kill him on the spot.
This episode provides examples of the following Tropes:
- Bilingual Bonus: The barbers' battle-off is called Taglio Di Capelli, which is Italian for haircut. note
- Black Comedy: Becky's other interest, Mike, gets killed with flying scissors. Fortunately for the viewer, it happens in shadow. Dan respectfully removes Mike from his revenge list.
- Disproportionate Retribution: For once, not Dan! The barber tries to kill Dan after receiving his own Traumatic Haircut. The trope is actually subverted by Dan in this episode: Dan's first instinct is to cut off the barber's hands. Elise and Chris advise him gently that he should do something less felonious. Dan decides to give the barber a Traumatic Haircut back.
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": The barber.
- Freeze-Frame Bonus: Dan has gnomes on his revenge list, among other things.
- Friend-or-Idol Decision: Complete his revenge, or keep the potential love of his life? Being Dan, he chooses the first without any real hesitation and only briefly considers that it might have been the wrong choice.
- Handwave: In-Universe, Elise does this both literally and tropically after she reveals her awareness of the Hallowed Society of Barber Surgeons.Chris: How did you know that?
Elise: Eh. - The Illuminati: The barbers run business in a style reminiscent of a medieval guild or Masonic sect.
- Kavorka Man: Becky is gorgeous... and, yes, she and Dan hit it right off.
- Omniscient Council of Vagueness: "The Hallowed Society of Barber Surgeons"
- Papa Wolf: The barber knows better than to let his daughter date Dan... he's just not so subtle about expressing it.
- Pick on Someone Your Own Size: The barber is a formidable presence and Dan is tiny. Further, the barber has a load of sharp blades and a posse of The Illuminati at his side!
- Polar Bears and Penguins: To explain missing his date with Becky - as opposed to just telling her the truth, which she later expresses she would have preferred - Dan's excuse is that the FBI have sent him to the North Pole to deal with some penguins. Becky points out that penguins live at the South Pole.note
- Properly Paranoid: Dan is sure the barber butchered his hair on purpose. He's right.
- Pyrrhic Victory: Dan gets his revenge on the barber, but makes Becky hate him in the process.
- Scenery Porn: The sunset and sunrise over the lake are particularly beautiful.
- Spaghetti Western: In-Universe, Dan wants to take Becky to see a Zombie Spaghetti Western.
- Spoof Aesop: Dan is given a wonderful, compassionate spiel by Becky, who tells him he should stop choosing anger over more important things. Dan looks up at the clock, notices the Taglio Di Capelli is almost over, and shunts the barber to give Becky a Traumatic Haircut. Thus, Dan wins the tournament, but loses his potential girlfriend:
- Traumatic Haircut: Dan, the barber, Chris and Becky each get their turn throughout the course of the episode. Dan, for his part, takes to wearing a sensible beanie to cover the damage. Also, Dan, for his part, causes the damage done to all of the other three.
- Villains Out Shopping: Dan's ingenious method of getting girls to go out with him is... starting a conversation with them, finding some things that they have in common, and then talking about those things.
