Title: Middle Age
Directed by: Noam Pitlik
Written by: Wally Dalton and Shelley Zellman (story), Reinhold Weege and Danny Arnold (teleplay)
Air Date: February 1, 1979
Previous: Wojo's Girl
Next: The Counterfeiter
Guest Starring: Richard Libertini, Nehemiah Persoff, Raleigh Bond, Kres Mersky
"Middle Age" is the 16th episode of the fifth season of Barney Miller.
A Jewish diamond merchant, Yacov Berger, has a sizeable collection of diamonds stolen from him in public, in broad daylight. Harris shows off the diamond he bought as an investment to Mr. Berger, who dismisses it as being yellow-colored and having a lot of flaws. They catch the thief, one Herbie Glass, who claims that he stole the diamonds because he finds the idea of expensive shiny pebbles absurd.
The second wacky case involves one Richard Perito, who is arrested for nearly spearing an old lady with the javelin he threw in a park. It turns out that Mr. Perito is training for the 1980 Olympics, despite the fact that he is a 43-year-old schmo who plainly is not Olympic caliber. His wife, who shows up to bail him out, has had enough of his nonsense.
Meanwhile, Barney is wearing reading glasses. The young detectives in the squad room all make comments about them, which makes him feel self-conscious about his age. Dietrich is giving out invitations to a party, one which Harris hopes to avoid.
Tropes:
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Dietrich lists the following senior accomplishments: Grandma Moses who started painting in her late 70s, Éamon de Valera being elected president of Ireland at 84, and South Carolina senator Strom Thurmond fathering a child at 74.
- Awful Wedded Life: The Peritos; Mrs. Perito threatens to divorce and leave Richard if another dangerous incident involving athletic equipment should ever occur, forcing Richard to reluctantly abandon his athletic hopes.
- Curse Cut Short: When Wojo calls the jewel thief "Herbie", Herbie says he deserves respect and demands Wojo call him "Mr. Glass."Wojo: OK Mr. Glass, move your sweet—
Barney: And no poetry either! - Series Continuity Error: Barney has used his reading glasses many times over the course of the series, but in this episode everyone is boggled to see him wearing them, as if they are new.
- Shout-Out: Harris says that with his reading glasses on, Barney looks like Walter Pidgeon. This isn't very helpful as Barney says "He's got to be 80 years old!". (Pidgeon turned 82 that year.)
- Stealth Insult: Everybody's insulting Barney this episode but Dietrich is stealthier about it. When Barney says he might not fit in with Dietrich's friends at the party, Dietrich says "You don't have to worry about that. There's going to be a lot of older people there."
- Two of Your Earth Minutes: He isn't an alien, but Mr. Berger indicates a certain distance between Ashkenazi Jews and English literary tradition when he says, "Your Shakespeare said, 'He who steals my purse steals trash.'"
- Unwanted Glasses Plot: Barney's not exactly thrilled about having to wear reading glasses, and he gets irritated when the detectives make fun of him for being old.
- Wet Blanket Wife: Mrs. Perito says that if her husband doesn't stop all this Olympic nonsense and get a job, she'll divorce him. Unlike many instances of this trope she's totally justified as he obviously isn't an Olympic-caliber athlete.
