Title: The Counterfeiter
Directed by: Max Gail
Written by: Frank Dugan, Jeff Stein, and Reinhold Weege
Air Date: February 8, 1979
Previous: Middle Age
Next: Open House
Guest Starring: James Gregory, J. Pat O'Malley, Jack Riley, George Pentecost, Susan Davis, Al Ruscio
"The Counterfeiter" is the 17th episode of the fifth season of Barney Miller.
The 12th gets an odd report of a counterfeiter who is only counterfeiting small bills, ones and fives. Harris is on the case, and catches the culprit, one Walt Hathaway, who insists the detectives call him "Walt". Walt is a cheerful, friendly old coot who says that he only counterfeited what he needed to get by. Harris is enchanted by Walt and sees all kinds of potential for using Walt as a character in his stories, and has to be ordered by Barney to criminally process him.
The second wacky case involves a businessman, Mr. Lovell, who beat up a plastic surgeon, Dr. Boudreau. It seems that Mr. Lovell came home from a business trip to find that Mrs. Lovell had gone to Dr. Boudreau for some treatment, only to suffer some unflattering side effects.
In other news, lifelong bachelor Inspector Luger is once again talking about getting married to his girlfriend Agnes, and once again getting cold feet. And it appears that Nick Yemana won't be coming back, as Wojo has been charged with reorganizing the Byzantine nightmare that is Yemana's filing system.
Tropes:
- And Starring: As usual, James Gregory gets "Special Guest Star" billing.
- Blowing a Raspberry: Wojo's response when Captain Miller asks how things are going. He is having a very hard time organizing Nick's files.
- Continuity Nod
- The show never directly stated that Nick had died, other than the out-of-character Clip Show that ended Season 5, but his departure was dealt with obliquely over a few episodes. This is the first time, as Wojo has been tasked with reorganizing the precinct's case files. He's struggling with how "Nick had the files", the use of the past tense and the fact that Wojo has to reorganize him indicating that for whatever reason, Nick wasn't coming back. (This episode aired a month after Jack Soo's death.)
- Inspector Luger's girlfriend Agnes, mentioned previously in early Season 5 episode "The Prisoner", is again a topic of conversation. Luger is again getting cold feet over the prospect of marriage.
- Inspector Luger's minor heart attack, mentioned seven episodes earlier in "The Radical", is also discussed. His heart trouble is another reason Luger is nervous about getting married.
- Counterfeit Cash: Walt prints small bills, because a tiny Army pension isn't enough for him to get by. He's been doing it for 16 years. He got caught because as he aged his eyesight is going, and the Lincoln on his latest $5 bill seemed to be wearing a leisure suit.
- Insane Troll Logic: How Yemana organized the files. There's nothing in the "Prostitution" folder, but there is C for call girls, S for Streetwalkers, M for massages, and T for twins.
- Insufferable Genius: Always the case with Dietrich, but in this episode Luger gets irritated when Dietrich butts in to Luger's story about his heart issues to drop his own unwanted knowledge. Luger pulls him aside to say "After all, Dietrich, it is my heart condition," then goes into Barney's office muttering "wise guy know-it-all!".
- Lohengrin and Mendelssohn: Inspector Luger's jitters over getting married have led to him taking pills—too many of them, which is why he's visibly high in Barney's office. He produces his two bottles of pills and starts singing "White pills and green, white pills and green", to the tune of "Here Comes the Bride".
- Mathematician's Answer: Dr. Boudreau says that Mr. Lovell should pay for the lamp he broke, and further says "That's fair." Dietrich the hyper-intellectual says "Fair and fair and twice so fair, as fair as any may be." Dr. Boudreau recognizes this but can't quite place it, saying "Hey, that's....". Dietrich says "It's a quote," and walks away smirking. (It's the opening lines to a 16th-century poem
.) - Out with a Bang: Discussed Trope. Inspector Luger eventually confesses to Barney that one of the reasons he is nervous about getting married is the fear that his heart won't stand the honeymoon.
- Sunglasses at Night: When Mrs. Lovell shows up in the squad room she is wearing comically oversized sunglasses, indoors. She keeps them on until the end, when she finally takes them off and reveals some pretty ghastly bruising around her eyes.
- Twin Threesome Fantasy: Alluded to, and possibly enjoyed by the late Nick Yemana. One of the weird sub-folders in which Yemana divided up the prostitution cases is T for twins.Dietrich: That inscrutable little scamp.
- Verbal Tic: Inspector Luger is once again talking about his girlfriend Agnes, and once again weirdly inserting an extra syllable in her name, calling her "Ag-a-nes."
