Quotes / Viva Las Vegas!

I've got my car, and my ride, and my wheels
(when I go to Vegas) That's right
I've got my drugs, and my stuff, and my pills
(when I go to Vegas) Alright

— Calvin Harris, "Vegas"

"Las Vegas is built on sand and tits."

—Udo Kier, in behind-the-scenes montage (3:44) for Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2

"Nevada.
Current Nickname: The Funtime Family State For Families!
Old Nickname: The Prostitute State."

— John Hodgman, The Areas of My Expertise

"No, this is not a good town for psychedelic drugs. Reality itself is too twisted.”

—Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

"The first thing he noticed was that Las Vegas seemed to have invented a new school of functional architecture, 'The Gilded Mousetrap School' he thought it might be called, whose main purpose was to channel the customer-mouse into the central gambling trap whether he wanted the cheese or not.”

— Ian Fleming, Diamonds Are Forever

CJ: Just come in off that ledge, man!
Onlooker #1: Hey, don't talk him out of jumping! We got good money on this!
Onlooker #2: Yeah! Good odds, too!
CJ: (Damn! This town is cold.)

—''Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

"People who never even dreamed of gambling in a casino now think it's sanctioned by God. Throw in a couple arcade machines, even the little kids go home broke."

—The Pretender, "Curious Jarod"

"And along with making us legit comes cash. Tons of it. I mean, what do you think we're doing out here in the middle of the desert? It's all this money. This is the end result of all the bright lights, and the comp trips, and all the champagne, and free hotel suites, and all the broads and all the booze. It's all been arranged just for us to get your money. That's the truth about Las Vegas: we're the only winners. The players don't stand a chance."

—Ace, Casino

"Here in Vegas there's only one way to make sure you don't lose any money: the moment you step off the plane, you walk right into the propellers."

— Vic Fontane, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine ("His Way")

"Ah, my bread and butter. Thrill-seeking rich folk with a poor grasp of statistics and probability."

— Manny, Grim Fandango

"Well next week I'll be in one of my favorite cities, Las Vegas. It's a nice place, built upon mankind's genetic failure at simple mathematics."

— Rodney Caston

"At first, when you show up in Vegas and you're living in the Riviera and you're on the strip and you're seeing all these lights, three days of it is just amazing. The fourth day, you're seeing 'CIRCUS CIRCUS CIRCUS CIRCUS CIRCUS CIRCUS'. You wanna shoot somebody."

—Chainsaw, The Story of Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling

"Atlantic City is great — it’s like Vegas, but with less of a chance you’ll run into a Kardashian."

—DListed

"I don't want to spoil the ending of this movie, but there's no strategy to slot machines. They're like relationships — you throw your hopes and dreams into them until one of you is out of money and the other one is empty inside."

— Seanbaby, "4 Instructional Videos No One Could Find Useful"

At three o'clock in the morning, when you wander through the endless sea of flashing lights and green velvet blackjack tables, surrounded by giant Mardi Gras floats, tinsel-clad maidens and Egyptian sky-arks, it is easy to wonder if you might be dreaming. From the moment you disembark from the plane, the ringing of the slot machines follows you like a dog nipping at your heels. Once you enter The Strip, it's easy to move from one fantasyland to another via convenient monorail trains and omnipresent taxis. You can walk through the arms of the Sphinx into a glittering black pyramid whose point shines a pillar of light into the sky, gawk at the world's largest gold nuggets, or gaze into a Fremont sky replaced with a sea of electric color.

Add to this the hundreds of Elvis impersonators, dozens of Marilyn Monroe clones and the Blue Men (as seen in national Intel commercials). Throw in a dab of $1.99 buffets, martinis as large as your head and truly unspeakable carpeting. Mix the waitresses who shame your most drunken antics with the smiling temptresses who hand out free drinks like they're dime store candies. Put a roller coast on the roof of the Space Needle and build a pyramid of black glass. Sail on the waterways of Venice in the afternoon, tromp through New York in the evening and watch the cannons of a pirate fleet at night. Vegas has a thousand tricks up her sleeve, all designed to make you forget the real world long enough to risk it all on a few dice throws.

—Mage: The Ascension - Fallen Tower: Las Vegas

"It is glorious that humanity could build this.
It is shameful that they did."

—Scott Alexander

Bright light city gonna set my soul

Gonna set my soul on fire.

Got a whole lot of money that's ready to burn

So get those stakes up higher.

There's a thousand pretty women waitin' out there

And they're all livin' the devil may care.

And I'm just the devil with love to spare, so

Viva Las Vegas, Viva Las Vegas.

— Elvis Presley, Viva Las Vegas!

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