Quotes: The Wotch
Anne, one of us is very confused, and I honestly don't know which one it is.
Actually, the most surprising thing about this is that I'm not surprised.
Anne, even your personified sarcasm is no match for me. I've been constanty sarcastic for 15 years.
Robin: We should have her do something about the gym...
Jason: Why? I like it. It gives it that nice "Post Apocalypse" feeling most gyms are lacking in.
Ah... It's been so long since I've visited this world... But it's all so familiar. The air, the light... the mortals cowering in the corner... Yes, I remember this place well.
—Uricarn Demon, here.
Kohain: Did you acquier the Pearl of Da'Cothra from General Tigerclaw?
Xaos: Unfortunately, no. As the Pearl's sole keeper, she swore to die before she revealed its location.
Tigerclaw: [held by neck] NYUH!
Evan (On being stuck in Lilly's body): It's just really wierd. You probably wouldn't get it.
Anne: Is it as wierd as finding an enchanted flute?
Evan: Well, I mean, that's—
Anne: Or accidentially bringing comic characters to life?
Evan: I guess it—
Anne: Or becoming a cat-girl? Or splitting into a bunch of personified personality traits? Or taking care of a genie granting everyone's wish under the sun? Or turning into a demon so—
Evan: OKAY! I GET IT!
*Looking in spell book* Argh, nothing nothing nothing! You'd think no one's ever switched the minds of her older brother who also happens to be her younger sister before...
Wow, the disturbing thing about that is it's no longer disturbing.
Why are Anne and Robin so shocked? What has happened to Jason? Why did we waste the last panel by filling it with questions rather than showing you what happened?
Because we can.
—The Creators, here.
Ignore curiosity, listen to fear, ignore curiosity, listen to fear...
Sorry, Robin, but a true reporter doesn't reveal things without proper fact checking.
Okay, I'll tell you.
Wolfie: Cassie, have you ever had this really big secret that you weren't sure whether to—
Cassie: Big secret?! What big secret?! I don't have any secrets! I'm secret-free. Absolutely nothing going on that people don't know about. Definitely not doing or planning anything secret. Seriously! Why are you accusing me like this?! You don't have any proof! I gotta go! *flees*
Wolfie: Okay, that was weird.
Robin: Excuse me, have any of you ladies seen a five foot seven cat in a plaid shirt around here?
Girl: Uh... No...
Robin: Okay, good. Um, there is no such thing, but you might wanna get out of here anyway.
Anne: Man, wolfie... *gasp* Is that [sleeper hold] even legal?!
Wolfie: Heh... Not usually, no.
Narration: In a parallel world full of darkness and despair, one group stands against the forces of evil and oppression. They are the Soldiers of Resistance; a band of freedom-fighters who, despite their various backgrounds, overcome diversity to work as a solid team...
Elise Redd: Bald, overgrown idiot!!
Ehud: Dark-eyed, loud-mouthed jerk!!
Narration: ...most of the time.
Xaos: While I certainly hold no respect for your pitiful resistance, I am feeling unusually generous today. You and your band of rebels may leave unharmed, as long as none of you try anything foolish.
Elise: You mean like this?! *Attacks*
Xaos: *sigh* Yes. Like that.
Robin: Now, "Kirkashi", you remember your mission for tonight, right?
Kirk: Of course. I am to protect Anne-Chan while simultaneously staying out of trouble myself.
Lily: Ooh, boys are here!
Jennie: [Points at Kirk] That one has funny hair!
Kirk: This was not part of the mission briefing.
Game: *various videogame sounds*
Game: *Player One, Defeated*
Anne: Aw, come on!! One more round!
Kirk: You know, maybe we should switch back to "Mariokart"... Where you manage to win a few rounds...
Cassie: Listen! Is there any way to stop this fight without anyone losing a limb?!
Drax: No limb loss? I dunno...
Anibelle: Well, there's a first time for everything...
Last chance, witch. At least last chance with all your limbs... Will you or will you not lead us to the Wotch? Nod for "yes", shake your head for "please, cut my leg off!"
Anibelle: Not Lord Sykos of the South?! He's crazy!
Theodore: Well, some people say that about you two...
Anibelle: Yeah, so if we say it 'bout someone, what do you think that says?!
Anne: *to Ally* Holy Potatoes You're a centaur!!
Robin: Huh... Look at that...
Jason: Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's not really something that should need to be pointed out, is it?
—This Comic, where Robin & Jason have spent the entire page not noticing the centaur.
Ally: Joe! Are you okay?
Joe: Yeah... I didn't need those ribs in one piece anyway...
As the one who is currently Half-Horse, I have the right to panic first!
Joe: Hey! Who are you?! Why are you here? What's going on?!
Jason: Our friend Anne here is a witch of sorts and was able to see through the spell that conceals that your girlfriend is a centaur from the average person.
Joe: I miss the days when that wouldn't be a plausible explanation.
Robin: Hey Anne! How are you holding up?
Anne: Well I couldn't really sleep last night 'cause I still felt pretty guilty about all the accidents I caused plus I was thinking about this meeting with the previous Wotch and I was thinking, "How is this going to go? Will she be mad?" But then I opened up my Wotchbook and read 'till, oh, five in the morning or so, and the training other Wotches got actually sounds pretty cool, so I'm hoping for the best!
Robin: Wow... Coffee?
Anne: Insta-wake spell! Woo!
Jason: I remember you saying something about her first lesson being not to use magic for minor inconveniences. Good to know that stuck.
Slapstick is always funny...when it's not happening to you.
—Author Anne, here.
Robin: Nothing! I mean, it's not important... I mean... Uh, Miss West is behind you.
Anne: Right... Robin, I may be a little naive sometimes, but I'm not stupid.
Miss West: *AHEM*
Anne: OH! Uh... Sorry.
I Like you, kid! You remind me of me, except completely different!
—Lord Sykos, to Theodore, here.
Why do I remind all the creepy magical psychos of themselves?! Why!?
—Theodore, same page.
Do you really want the girl wearing the sombrero to be the sensible one here?
Are you going to poke holes in my flawed logic all night or help me?
"Missy": Oh, *whew!* I' not attracted to you at all!
Milo: Well, thanks... I was thinking my self-esteem had been a little too high lately...
Morrigan: Do you have any books on how to mystically keep idiot men in their place?
Milo: Oh, you want "Hypnotism and Mind Control". Right next to the "Self-Help" section, by the crystals.
Clerk: Ma'am, pleas calm down.
Don Tello: Calm down?! I'm not supposed to be a "Ma'am"! How can I calm down!?
Adult Lilly: Heh... Crazy kids.
Allyson: Yeah. Though I don't remember causing bizarre weather chaos when I was young...
Ally: So, do I at least get a version of the truth?
Young-Anne: A couple of magical amulets played with our genders and ages, and I was having trouble controlling my powers, but I'm better now.
Ally: Well, that sums it up. Joe's right. I miss the days when that wouldn't have been a satisfactory answer...
There! All fixed, with only minor emotional scarring!
Anne: Well, geeze, I figured you would understand better than anyone. What, with your once being a guy and all.
Sonja: I am a guy! [Beat] Well... okay... I'm not at the moment... But that's not the piont.
Anne: I'd have said something right afterwards, but I ended up getting distracted. A couple girls from school showed up, and then right in the middle of a conversation, this wierd guy came out of nowhere and just made things even more messed up...
Jason: Did this guy have a moustache and cowboy hat?
Anne: Yeah, how did you know?
"Glock": 'Cause he's standin' right behind you.
Jason: How do you know about that?!
"Glock": Because I'm you from the future sent back in time to prevent a horrible thing from happening to all society!
Jason: ...No you're not.
"Glock": No, I'm not. But you'd be surprised how often that works.
Robin: Woah, hold up. What's this "Dolly" thing?
"Glock": Not dolly, D.O.L.L.Y. All caps, with periods.
Wow. I can be pretty darn evil when I want to be...
— Annie, Here.
''If I go back for my camera, this will all be gone when I get back.
—Ivan Bezdomny, here.
Eureka! I've done it! They mocked me! They doubted my abilities! Well... Actually, they had full confidence in me, that's why they came to me—but that's not the point!
—Lord Sykos, here.
Anne, I don't care how cliché it is: One more word and I turn you into a newt.
—Miranda West, here.
Evan: Now, Jennie, what did we learn today?
Jennie: That it's never okay to drop bowling balls on people's heads unless they are evil wizards hurting your friends.
Don Tello: Okay, did I just dream that, or was I really just a woman again?
Stacy Kay: I don't know; it's pretty vague. This has been happening to me a lot, late— wait, "again"?
Ms. West: Everything seems fine. No unusual activity. I— ...Wait... Come on, Arizona! Hurry!
Ms. West: When was the last time nothing unusual happened in this city?
Ms. West: Exactly.
My dear, I mean you no harm.
Well, perhaps a little harm, I admit.
— Lord Sykos, Here.
It's a new dawn for Sykosius Trinidad Alalan XXIII! Or it would be if that were my name.
— Lord Sykos, Here.
I encountered him once and let me tell you, I got out of there faster than a tortoise with thirteen quick spells cast on it.
Lord Sykos: West?! Miranda West?! It can't be! It just can't be!
Lord Sykos: I have no idea who you are, but that seemed like the appropriate greeting.
Ms. West: Shut up.
Evan: Now apologise to the crazy wizard and let's get Annie back!
Ms. West: Hmph. Sorry.
Lord Sykos: Since it was a misunderstanding, Aimee shall give only a single, short upset look.
Aimee: Nyah! (Sticks out tongue)
Lord Sykos: Thank you, Aimee.
Anne: (Thinking) Okay, I'm surrounded by an Uricarn Demon, a pointly wizard guy, and what looks like a ninja bug lady; I'm trapped in a creepy white dimensional void; and I'm still majorly exausted from the fight with the other wizard... I'd think "How could this be worse?" but then it'd get...
Man, this planet is strange. And that's coming from the alien with tentacle hair.
Demon: PREPARE TO DIE, BUGS!
Glock: Play for dibs?
Ti'el: Oh, alright.
Glock: Ha! Paper beats rock!
Ti'el: Darn it, glock, you know I can't throw scissors!
Glock: Here, hold this. [Takes off coat] I shouldn't be long.
Ti'el: No dying. You still owe me lunch.
Glock: If I die, I'll buy you two.
Ming: What's going on?
Ms. West: Absolutely nothing that you should be concerned about. Now go home, lock your doors, and open them for no one.
Myrh: I assume this is not a common scene in your world?
Ming: No, it's really not.
Ming: What power do you have? Super sarcasm?
Jason: You'd be surpriesed how often that comes in handy in these situations.
Artemis Jameston: You can't stop me, Wotch! I know how you work! I have planned for everything you could possibly hit me with!
Jameston: [Covered in slime] Okay... Almost everything... Ick...
Robin: [Running with Jason] Hurry, we need to— Ming?!
Ming: [Running in opposite direction] Can't talk! Gotta save the town!
Jason: Isn't that what we're doing?
Robin: We'll ask later!
Yes, the girl who was formerly an adult male just referred to herself as the relatively normal one. What does that tell us about the rest of the cast?
— Anne (Author), referring to Ming in this comic.
Another great example of the type of story this arc is. BIG, CLIMACTIC ACTION!!....unseen.
—Author Anne, here.
Prepare to be shocked and amazed! And if one of you is the fire marshall, we apologize for this in advance.
— Dee (Magician's Assistant), here.
If word travelled like we hoped, Sinn will be in that crowd. Well, more likely he'll be all creepy and alone in some shadows, but technically he'll be in the "crowd".
— Faustus The Great, here.
Anne: This guy deserves to be turned to slime. Er... no offense intended to friends of mine that actually are slime...
Faustus the Great: I'm not even going to ask.
I lead a very interesting life...
"Sonja": So this wasn't caused by an evil overlord looking to rule the world, or a wicked witch seeking to harm us, or a wizard scheming against us... It was just... a rabbit.
"Robyn": Seems that way.
Anne: I'm actually okay with that.
Sonja/Jason: Me too.
Robin: Are you all right?
Cassie: Oh, yeah[...] It's just been an exceptionally strange night. Especially since you're a prettier girl than I am.
Anne: I wonder what that was about.
Jason: Maybe Miranda left because Ivan was sneaking around her house and she put a horrible curse on him as a form of magical justice.
DeFrain: Mind if I join you?
DeFrain: Too bad.
DeFrain: I'm not going to thank you for saving me. That would imply that you actually did so on purpose, which I know you would deny tooth and nail. It might even imply that you actully do feel an affinity for your crew mates. I know how much it would offend you for me to imply such a thing.
I wouldn't want to give the impression that you might have a bigger reason for joining this fight that simply personal gain. So I won't say thank you.
Anibelle: ...You're welcome.
Anibelle: If you take this as some sort of romantic thing, I'll rip your inestines out through your nose.
DeFrain: Not a problem, don't worry.
Katie: Anne, you are a strange person.
Anne: Yes, but I find it better to just embrace that fact.
Meanwhile, in the real world (believe it or not)...
—Note in this comic, upon switching from a fantasy sequence to Anne turned into a tree.
Miranda: Do you realise that if we don't perform this ceromony properly, the balance of magic will be thrown off throughout the world?! Magica creatures that humanity doesn't even acknowledge as anything beyond myth will overrun cities! And it will be our fault!
Anne: But, you know, no pressure.
Miranda: Oh, there's pressure. There's a whole mess of pressure.
[...] I used to call them friends. Then I called them suspicious. Now I don't call them at all.
Tigerclaw: My name is General Tigerclaw. I help lead a resistance against a dictator Warlord.
Anne: I'm Anne, and this is Robin. We... um... go to high-school...
Tigerclaw: Obviously you are versed in magical combat.
Anne: It comes in handy.
Overall, life was pretty normal for Anne and her friends. They went to school... hung out... stopped a Djinn invasion... helped out some friends with were-curses... fought a Wicked Witch in another dimension... went on dates... You know, the usual.
— Narration for this guest comic.
As the only one here who actually lived through the 70's, I was hoping to be done with that decade forever.
Ming: Let's just say I'm going to bring the 70's to them in a way they never expected!
Anne: Well, as long as we dont suddenly find ourelves transported back in time, that sounds great!
Ming: No time travel. Got it. Plan B, then.
Ming: I'm just kidding!
Sometimes I imagine how wierd it would be to go to a normal high-school.
—Samantha Wolf (aka Wolfie), here.