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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
The Wotch
The Wotch
Most characters are based on people from an IRC chat room.
Stranger things have happened ;)
  • The disclaimer before the D.O.L.L.Y. arc actually mentioned that it was. It wasn't clear if it was referring to that arc in particular, or the full story.

Anne is a lesbian.
Nearly any spell she casts on a man seems to end in him becoming female, and one of her most frequent targets is her purported love interest, Robin. When she allows her feminine pride a separate body, her clothes become stereotypical cargo pants and fatigues. The author has said outright that the character is based on Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, with Alyson Hannigan in-jokes a running gag. Finally, when Cassie tries to pass her off to a guy (to clear the way for herself and Robin), it's not clear whether she's oblivious or willfully obstinate, although her reaction to one such "Alyson Hannigan in-joke" involving a flute weights the scales toward "oblivious." Then again, her affection in a separate body seemed perfectly happy with a male Robin. (Not that she couldn't be bi, but that's not the theory, is it?)
  • You know what? Let's make that a theory. Perhaps Anne just happens to be bisexual.
  • But Anne didn't seem that turned on during Slumber Party of Doom. I think it's more likely she's just a late bloomer, or she's asexual.
  • It is also possible that the author, known only as Anne Onymous (the same name as the character), is a man with gender identity issues. In this theory, the author "Anne" would be living out his fantasy of being a natural female through his comic. After all, it would help explain why so many male characters wind up turning female AND why Anne has said on a few occasions that Anne (the character) literally cannot be turned male (as it would spoil the fantasy). Not to mention that it explains why Anne Onymous insists so adamantly on remaining that way.
    • Those who know won't speak. Those who speak don't know.
  • Either that, or the real life answer to Jason is, explaining his Sonja issues.
    • Jason is a lesbian?
  • Except that Anne was turned into a male in a donation animation.
  • Those are hardly canon.
    • Indeed, canon states that magic users — or magic creatures, dunno — can't be gender bended. It was even a plot point involving a bet with a gnome.
      • Actually, it only states that the Wotch must be female, which later turns out to mean she can't be genderbended. Presumably this applies to the Worlock as well, but there's no mention if it applies to other magical creatures.
      • Nope, that particular character was unable to cast, and immune to, all magic.
      • Milo Happerbasket ( the owner of the magic shop ) IS canonically immune to magic, because he didn't turn into anything during the outbreak of the Mythos virus and during the arc where everyone age\gender swaps, Milo explicitly says that magic does not affect him. Magic does affect Anne, and Anne was turned into a boy during the Adventures in Babysitting arc, although that was an Imp's doing....
      • Spoilers ahoy! Except she wasn't. At the end of that arc, its revealed than Anne was just wearing boys clothes, but had always been a girl

Miranda is to blame for her Dead Little Sisters
We all know how much of a Knight Templar she is, so I think it's quite possible that her "all for the best" line might have been her saying she did to Ivan is only the latest in a long series of Shoot the Dog-and that her friends may have been the first. If that's true, somthing tells me Anne won't take the news too well...

Cassie's status as a goth will be revoked.
She goes to slumber parties, has a colossal crush on a boy from school, and she's always wanted to see a unicorn. This behavior is in no way becoming of a goth. She will be kicked out and never allowed to wear black again.

Ivan/Yvonne is either going to pull either a Face-Heel Turn, or is going to do a Nice Job Breaking Something.
Let's see the position he's at now: In trying to break the Masquerade, he she and her allies were turned into girls when he tried to reveal everything. As the end of "The Days of Their Lives" shows, he still wants to find the truth about Magic and the weird stuff going on around town, but isn't stupid enough to risk a direct confrontation with Anne and her friends as long as Miranda is around. In addition, (s)he can't tell anyone else what he knows, or else he'll risk something WORSE happening. Now racked with guilt and confusion, in standard dramatic fashion, this leaves her with five choices:

  1. Yvonne gets Put on a Bus (at least for now). Easiest, but least satesfying solution.
  2. Xaos offers to tell Yvonne everything, in exchange for joining him.
  3. Yvonne dives even deeper into the mystery on her own, accidently breaking something.
  4. Yvonne attempts to Destroy the world. Or at least all magic on earth.
  5. Yvonne does something comletely unexpected.

Option one has the temporary benefits of staving off Cerebus Syndrome by having Something Completely Diffrent happen, but it may be taken as a sign of Jumping the Shark. if prolonged indefinitely. As said before, it may only be temporary until we the author can figure out a better way

It may be too early to tell, but Option two looks feasible. The only problem is that this sort of thing has happened far, far too often to be taken seriously. Expect a subversion or deconstruction if this does happen. May be the start (or continuation?) of the comic's Cerebus Syndrome.

Option three could work as a quick and easy solution, ending with Yvonne being restored to Ivan, and him joining the team for good. Or possibly things might get worse.

Option four is far, far too extreme to be seriously considered. Of course, it could work out that Yvonne could take up Xaos's mantle and try to destroy the world after defeated, but I don't think that's very likely, as a final confrontation with Xaos seems too far in the future.

  • Yvonne basically has nothing to lose now, which makes her very dangerous indeed. I could easily see a scenario number 3 in the works, but with this author, it seems equally likely that everyone comes to accept the change, and there's signs of that happening already with the other two in Yvonne's situation.
    • There would be a reason for Yvonne to proceed with caution - fear of bringing more harm to Julie and Scott. He/She already is very guilt-ridden over what happened to them and would no doubt want to avoid further damage (especially since Miranda basically threatened death or at least a much more serious curse should Yvonne cause any more trouble).
  • Variation on idea two: After Miranda's treatment of him, Ivan will not only be in prime shape to be convinced (with some carefully-placed half-truths, deceptions, and outright lies in a context he has no solid footing on) that Xaos and his crew are the good guys, but will turn out to actually know something that they didn't. They might even have the means to, er, fix his gender — that would cap off their case. However, carrying the scenario further, Ivan (curious fellow that he is) will learn the truth at a crucial moment and undermine Xaos' plans in the name of An Undestroyed Earth. ... Hey, it could happen.

Ivan will break the curse in the most badass way possible, and become a resistance fighter.

A likely scenario for number five above; One day, Yvonne approaches Anne and her friends, and hands them a piece of paper with every secret he knows about them written on it. The paper promptly explodes, and the three begin their transformation into girls and a boy. Of course, Anne's magic becomes less powerful, and Miranda notices, and wonder why it is. Yvonne come in, and reveals that he gave Anne a share in his curse, turning her into a girl and thus negating her wotch magic since only girls can be wotches, and one wotch can't counter another wotch's curse. Yvonne doesn't know this, but he demands the curse be removed anyways, because his friends deserve to suffer just as much as Anne does. Miranda begrudgingly complies. Anne is completely shocked at Miranda's behavior, but she's not finished yet. Miranda asks what's to stop her from putting the curse back on Ivan again. Ivan replies that he's scheduled a press conference, and while it's admittedly not very large, it's enough that if he talks, everybody will have their genders bent and magic will be revealed to the world. He then reveal his origin story; that he's in Tandy under the witness protection program after his father, a reporter, failed to succumb to threats from gangsters and was killed putting the right to free speech above everything else. He gives an impassioned speech worthy of Captain America about how this is too big, and the people of the world have a right to know about magic. He finishes by coldly stating that if she wants to keep magic a secret, he'll have to kill him. With a zap, Miranda apperantly does so. Anne, more than a little upset by this, finally masters her teleporting skills, and teleports Miranda to Mexico. She then puts a barrier around Tandy to stop Ms. West from coming back.

Later, Ms. West calls in Cassie and tells her she noticed how powerful she is, and offers to train her if she agrees to train Anne via periodically attacking her in various magic ways (like what Xaos is doing). Cassie asks why she should help her since she killed Ivan. Miranda replies that she didn't kill him, Anne just teleported her away before she could explain. She sent him to a dimension where magic is everyday, and thus not a big secret. It turns out, that Ivan has been sent to Xaos' dimension, and has joined the freedom fighters as chief information gatherer.

When he is next seen, he will have a new waredrobe (possibly an invisibility cloak), a fancy gun, and he will be Anibelle's boyfriend.

One day, El Goonish Shive will have a somewhat canon crossover with The Wotch.
I just felt like this theory, maybe it would be done in a similar vein to the Accidental Centaurs crossover?
  • Well, there's already a non-canon crossover.

Jason is the transformation. Sonja is his true form.
Jason was born a redheaded girl, but for whatever reason, was transformed into a blond boy as an infant, and kept that way for most of his life, raised to believe he was a boy. (Maybe his parents just really wanted a boy?) Any transformation applied to Jason turns him into a variation of Sonja, either because transformations are based on the subject's true form instead of their current one, or because his body is taking the opportunity to revert to its natural state, or at least something resembling it. It's like a rubber band that's been stretched out, trying to snap back to its normal shape. His obsession with redheaded girls, and his affinity for being turned into Sonja, is caused by a subconscious awareness of what he's really supposed to be.

Lord Sykos is Mao's father/brother/ghost/reincarnation/clone/Expy/whatever
Let's face it, aside from the ears, they look pretty similar (Pictures, please?) Why Sykos is so darn powerful while Mao is a chump who barely lasts 3 episodes is yet to be determined.

Sam and Katie are more then best friends.
Come on, let's admit it: there is so much subtext about this it can't even really be called subtext. They are lesbians. And that' about it.

One of the next stories will involve vampires
I mean, let's face it. There are already Werewolves. Vampires are the next loggical step.

Anne Onymous is Dan Shive under a pseudonym
Let's see, there's the very similar art style. While it isn't impossible that they both draw similarly, it's a strong link. Then there's the very similar emphasis on gender transformations (and other transformations), indicating at least similar interests. Third, The Wotch seems to be on hiatus whenever EGS updates properly, while EGS slows down whenever The Wotch is running, as it would if only one person did both. Finally, "Anne" doesn't give too much info about herself, and what we do know could easily be a fabrication.
  • Their art styles are only similar early on. As time goes on, Dan's art vastly improves while Anne's remains mainly the same. If Anne was Dan, the art in both comics would have evolved in the same way, but they haven't. Also, EGS would have joined 910CMX much sooner, or The Wotch would have stayed on Keenspot.
    • it's possible that Dan just doesn't want to be recognized as Annie Onymous and so makes its art style progress at a different rate, or just doesn't like having to take the pains that he does with drawing egs with a second comic

Xaos is trying to make Anne stronger to help combat a greater evil
Xaos doesn't seem to be interested in really harming Anne to the point that it will undermine her fighting capabilities, and whenever he shows up he's either gonna say I Need You Stronger or directly pull a string and help her and her crew out and is sending (some but not all) baddies after her to make sure she's in pristine fighting shape. Him being the personification of Order and Anne being the personification of Chaos it could mean that after having her shaped and primed he will appear to Anne and tell her that his true purpose of sending all those baddies her way was to make her strong enough for a final battle that will bring balance to the universe.
Julia's genderbent name is Julian.
It just makes sense when you put the names together in your head. Also, it'd make Scott's name (Kelly) a case of [One Of These Is Not Like The Others].
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