"I made a typo in my annual budget request, but don't worry. There are only two things you can't buy for the test lab this year: Hardware and Software."
"Maybe you could tell me what is going on. And please, speak as you might to a young child. Or a golden retriever. It wasn't brains that brought me here, I assure you that."
—John Tuld, Margin Call
"The best thing about Hughes has been his withdrawal from the world—for this, if nothing else, he ought not only to be honored but encouraged by a grateful nation. Yet even in the shadows of his cloistered motels, the inept tycoon insists on pulling strings, making a mess of TWA, a disaster of RKO, a shambles of vice in Las Vegas, all while creating the largest unworkable plywood plane in the world at a cost to the taxpayers of twenty-two million dollars. There is something peculiarly inhuman even about his incompetence."
— Gore Vidal, "H. Hughes"
"Larry Kasanoff is a talent-less, classless scumbag that should be banned from Hollywood until the end of time. All of the inappropriate innuendos are a direct product of his 'creative hand'. I cannot tell you how many times this moron derailed production with his brainless input. It literally has cost the studio millions of dollars. They eventually stepped in and removed him from the project. Unfortunately, that was a decade and millions of dollars late."
— Vader Hater, an anonymous animator who worked on Food Fight.
"They might be hacks, but they’re not pandering hacks. They’re not talking down to us. The scripts they write are about as intelligent as they are. In fact, most of their work seems to be the result of a couple of not-very-bright guys trying their hardest to write really smart movies."
"The wallet-immolating failure of Howard the Duck may come as less of a surprise to us now, in the year 2014, because (George) Lucas famously has the self-awareness of reheated spaghetti. But back in the golden 1980s, Howard the Duck's cataclysmic release was the first terrifying sign that the Bearded One might not actually have any idea what the fuck he is doing."
Mike: Him and M. Night Shyamalan, how do they keep making movies? (rethinks it) I'll tell you, it involves a profit margin.
Jay: Well, the difference is that Roland Emmerich movies always make money. M. Night Shyamalan's movies keep failing, but he keeps getting work. Maybe he gives really good blowjobs.
(long, awkward pause)
Mike: The Suck Sense?
"Night’s After Earth production tweets were something to behold, as he simpered on about each shot and edit evoking the emotional wonder and power of cinema, like a blind man telling you how clever his dog is, while stroking a furry toilet seat with a collar on it. Irritatingly, as we constantly see potentially awesome movies dropped from development as studios get jumpy about budgets, it seems like whatever he does, Hollywood just keeps throwing money at him to produce another stinker. How many better films were kept off the screen so that M. Night Shyamalan could fart out another one star abomination?"
—Stuart Millard, "The Self-Destruction of M. Knight Shyamalan
"I'm reminded of the time during my three-year stint working for Borders when the CEO resigned and was replaced by the former head of Pathmark. Somebody who didn't care or know anything about books was suddenly calling the shots at a national bookstore chain. You don't need me to tell you the company didn't exactly turn around under his leadership. I almost wish I swiped one of the training videos that came out when he "refocused" the stores' selling procedures... I'm trying to remember if the word "book" was even mentioned during the fifteen-minute explication of his revolutionary new customer service acronym."
<SaetheR:#916> why are stupid people my managers?