Things don't always work — that's right!
Things don't always work — it's true!
Things don't always work — can't lie!
Things don't always work — make do!
Some bugs are big,
some bugs are small,
some bugs let a semi drive through a wall.
Some textures are dark,
some textures are bright,
some textures show you a mirrory plight.
Some games run fast,
some games run slow,
some games run like a black powder Pinto.
Some games are alpha,
some games are omega,
some games are just an Obvious Beta.
Things get worse under pressure.
— Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics
The first attempt at a 3D Prince of Persia was the predictably-named Prince of Persia 3D
, technically a Tomb Raider
clone in the same sense that a bucket of mushy peas and old twigs is technically 'food
.' It was horribly designed
, with bugs up the arse and had a terrible habit of arbitrarily killing the player with leap-of-faith gameplay and unlabeled traps... Let's be more generous than reviewers of the time and say no more about it
, except that it was a huge turd.
Privateer 2: The Darkening
is virtually unplayable. No, really, it barely fucking works. Back in the day, I remember this game crashed all the goddamn time
, but even today on the comparatively much more stable Dos Box
systems, this game bombed almost every single time
I ran it: It crashed when loading gameplay, it crashed when loading movies, it crashed when I took off, it crashed when I landed, it crashed when I tried to save, and
load, and it even crashed when I tried to quit.
No other industry would be able to get away with what the technology industries get away with. Book publishers are not able to release a book with the understanding that despite some of the pages being missing readers will be able to grab them online when they’re eventually available. Shoe manufacturers don’t gradually release 6.1″, 6.2″, and 6.25″ shoes, claiming each one as the solution to people requiring a size 7. No mops fit into only certain buckets and eventually require you to buy a new bucket which will require a new mop in turn. Yet the technology industries thrive on such techniques because geeks happily allow them to.
It's all very simple. It's just the IOS6 team adjusting reality to fit in with their maps app...
"Wow for a prototype I'm impressed. I'm really impressed."
"Sir this isn't the prototype this is the full version"
"*Twitch Twitch* (slowly removing his glasses)"
"...we delivered a game that was pre-alpha at best. It needed at least another three months, if not another six to get it to a playable level of quality. Knowing we didn't have much time, we cut a lot of corners, and left out features the fans liked, but would have been too time consuming to implement. It was a half-done game, and it shows."
"This is like a glitch that, like, occasionally breaks out into a game."
"Five seconds in, and you already get the impression that the coders were more interested in getting this thing out before the first-quarter deadline than taking advantage of the PCE's power... Everything about the experience here shouts 'I don't feel like debugging this.'"
— Kevin Gifford
of F-1 Pilot