Quotes: Obvious Beta

Things don't always work — that's right!
Things don't always work — it's true!
Things don't always work — can't lie!
Things don't always work — make do!

Some bugs are big,
some bugs are small,
some bugs let a semi drive through a wall.

Some textures are dark,
some textures are bright,
some textures show you a mirrory plight.

Some games run fast,
some games run slow,
some games run like a black powder Pinto.

Some games are alpha,
some games are omega,
some games are just an Obvious Beta.
—Unknown

Things get worse under pressure.
Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics

"It's got third-person shooting that doesn't really work, with this horrible little stun-gun where enemies get shot and then fly halfway across the room, and you keep having to chase them, like that guy in the Popeye movie who keeps kicking his hat when he tries to pick it up. These people are so far up their fucking arse that they refused to accept any criticism, but then they come out with a patch that is SO big, they treat it as a sequel release!"

"The only reason its existence can be justified is that it could be held as an example of what not to do during game development."
Bennett the Sage, on Call of Juarez: The Cartel

"Elemental was released with so many bugs it would have made Starship Troopers jealous."

"It crashed when loading gameplay, it crashed when loading movies, it crashed when I took off, it crashed when I landed, it crashed when I tried to save, and load, and it even crashed when I tried to quit."
Noah "The Spoony One" Antwiler, on Privateer 2: The Darkening

"I've been desperate to play Derek's game ever since Battlecruiser: Crash Directly to Desktop was released and I tried in vain to get it to run for like half an hour. Documentation on the web site told me that I had to put it into a folder with no more than eight characters in the name. Eight-letter folder names? What is this, Windows 3.1?"
Gamespy on Battlecruiser 3000 A.D.

"Book publishers are not able to release a book with the understanding that despite some of the pages being missing readers will be able to grab them online when they’re eventually available. Shoe manufacturers don’t gradually release 6.1″, 6.2″, and 6.25″ shoes, claiming each one as the solution to people requiring a size 7. No mops fit into only certain buckets and eventually require you to buy a new bucket which will require a new mop in turn."

It's all very simple. It's just the IOS6 team adjusting reality to fit in with their maps app...

"Wow for a prototype I'm impressed. I'm really impressed."
"Sir this isn't the prototype this is the full version"
"*Twitch Twitch* (slowly removing his glasses)"
— President of Sega about Sonic the Hedgehog (2006), Game Grumps, Sonic06

"...we delivered a game that was pre-alpha at best. It needed at least another three months, if not another six to get it to a playable level of quality. Knowing we didn't have much time, we cut a lot of corners, and left out features the fans liked, but would have been too time consuming to implement. It was a half-done game, and it shows."
Tim Lang, lead designer on Might and Magic IX

"This is like a glitch that, like, occasionally breaks out into a game."

"Five seconds in, and you already get the impression that the coders were more interested in getting this thing out before the first-quarter deadline than taking advantage of the PCE's power... Everything about the experience here shouts 'I don't feel like debugging this.'"
Kevin Gifford, review of F-1 Pilot