Quotes / Narm

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The Frightbot told a story so scary you couldn't help but laugh.

He was sobbing so hard that he began to hiccup.
Lorelei Mackenzie, Picard's Illumination

"My arm is numb. Numb arm. Numb arm, narm, NARM, NARM--" *thud*
Nate, Six Feet Under


"Join me, Link, and I will make your face the grrrrrreatest in Koridai! Or else you will DIE.
You DARE bring LIGHT to my LAIR? YOU MUST DIE!!"
Ganon, Link: The Faces of Evil and Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon, respectively (and by the way, every single line from these games could probably be quoted here, but those two are arguably the Narmiest.)


"........................................my boat."
The Mariner, Waterworld

William Forrester, Finding Forrester

"I, Garland, will knock you all down!"

Don't walk you away,
I can find
Don't walk you away,
I can smile
All in one right,
all in one yeah!
Start all again
— The (on-screen) lyrics to the DJMAX song Fallen Angel

"That was TOO close! You were almost a JILL SANDWICH!"
Barry Burton, Resident Evil

"Then it's settled. Let's have fun tonight because it is... IT'S PARTY TIME!"
Minh, Blood+

— Love is Breaking My Heart by Grave Digger

"NOOOO! MY LOVE! Accept it! Accept it! ACCEPT IT!"
Zommari Leroux, Bleach


"Holy cosmos, look at that thing! So, that's the dragon of the legends? My gosh! That's one whopper of a lizard!"

Johnny, The Room

"I should not be laughing! This is a terrible situation! And yet... I find myself unable to resist... your influence!"
Jorgen Von Strangle, in The Jimmy/Timmy Power Hour 2: When Nerds Collide after he blasts Jimmy and Timmy into a ditch.

4 Non Blondes, "What's Up?"

I don't think that I can take it!
Cause it took so long to bake it!
And I'll never have that recipe again!
Richard Harris, "MacArthur Park"

"Holy mother of unintentional comedy!"
Mike Nelson upon seeing Two-Face, RiffTrax of The Dark Knight

"Yang! This is a sad scene! The audience can't be sad if they're laughing!"
Ruby Rose as Yang steals the Red Riding Hood play in RWBY Chibi

"Wait a minute...this isn't my world...disaPOOOOIIIINTEEEEEEED!!!!"


"The sublime and the ridiculous are often so nearly related, that it is difficult to class them separately. One step above the sublime, makes the ridiculous; and one step above the ridiculous, makes the sublime again."
Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason, (1795)

"Misjudging whether to go big or small is, dramatically, a huge problem. The entire tightrope of dramatic effectiveness hinges on getting the balance right. The line between pathos and bathos is razor thin, and tumbling off of it can be the difference between brilliant and a disaster that will be mocked for the ages."

"There's probably a reason Jessie's Song has gotten boiled down to a single line of dialogue, as it's merely a taster for SBTB's real excursion into drug hysteria that's yet to come, and wanders on both sides of the line between sanity and white-knuckled pearl-clutching. But when it does cross over, it's a real John Cleese of a walk, with one leg halfway up behind its ears and the other right up its own hole."
Stuart Millard, So Excited, So Scared

"My 12-year-old son, Rob, was going through a pile of ballots, and he asked me how "MacArthur Park" goes, so I sang it, giving it my best shot, and Rob laughed so hard that when I got to the part about leaving the cake out in the rain, and it took so long to bake it, and I'll never have that recipe again, Rob was on the floor. He didn't BELIEVE those lyrics were real. He was SURE his wacky old humor-columnist dad was making them up."
Dave Barry on the worst song ever recorded

"I had a stage in my life when I tried to get my friends to watch Doctor Who with me. The sad truth of the matter is that I was never going to get them to fall in love with it the way I do and so the exercise was fairly redundant...The closest I got to convincing somebody that this show really was brilliant was my friend Luke who watched the first two episodes of Ghost Light with some enthusiasm. However it all fell to pieces in part three when Light was revealed and he stepped from the lift as camp as Christmas. Luke fell about laughing and never recovered from his mirth. To this day he still opens every text conversation, email and Facebook message with look at these microbes… Now the only person who has to put up with my Who obsession is Simon but he was stupid enough to marry me."

Chris: Remember that really good episode of Justice League Unlimited about Booster Gold? This is basically the opposite of that...The Booster Gold infomercial that they ran part of in the preview last week was seriously the high point of the show.
David: I loved all of the commercial scenes, but that’s not because the show tried really hard to get the vibe of a Booster Gold informercial and reached an aspired-to level of cheesiness, it’s because the show is naturally at the level of craft and subtlety of a Booster Gold infomercial.
Chris: Zing!
Smallvillains on Smallville (Booster)

"Arnold rips his throat out, turns to the camera and bellows, HERE'S SUB ZERO. NOW! PLAIN ZERO!!! I honestly can't conceive of a world where there's a more badass thing to say after killing someone named Sub Zero. We are so blessed to have Running Man in our lives."

"It's the dead seriousness of this line that really makes this scene immortal. This actor sells it like he's Hal Jordan gifted with this godlike artifact of immeasurable power, something to be feared and respected. He gives it the same battle-hardened, post-orgiastic tone as the classic 'I love the smell of napalm in the morning' line from Apocalypse Now."

"I personally love when [the film] tries to build up how badass Steven Seagal is by saying something to the effect of You could drop him in the middle of Antartica with only his skivvies and he would show up at your pool the next day with a tan and a fistful of pesos. That is just brilliant. This movie is simply hilarious and is funnier than most comedies out there today. You aren’t a movie fan until you are a Seagal connoisseur."

"Moviemakers talk about 'bad laughs.' That's when the audience laughs when it's not supposed to. This is conceivably the first movie which is in its entirety a bad laugh."

"Netflix also labels this as a comedy, but any laughter is purely unintentional."
Wrestlecrap on The Reunion (2011)

"Of all people, Nguyen best sums up why Birdemic works in the bonus features: When an audience member sarcastically asks why his film is so awesome, he responds with one word: Sincerity"
Andrew Kasch, Dread Central's Birdemic: Shock and Terror DVD/Blu-Ray review

"Everyone in the theater laughed at this point. Not exactly the reaction you want for your big dramatic moment."

"Now, is General Grievous supposed to be funny? 'Cause they said he was a villain, right? Not a comedian?"
Mr. Plinkett, Revenge of the Sith review

"When faced with unspeakable horror, Cage seemingly thought to himself, 'What would Chandler Bing say?'"

"There aren't many video games that I've actually been embarrassed to have people watching me play."

"It's incidents like when Wesley Snipes gets whacked twice with a TV set and barely suffers a bruise that make up the real humor."

"Spider-man gave Mary Jane cancer by tragically shooting her up repeatedly with his horrible radioactive Spider-Semen. His horrible radioactive Spider-Semen. That’s not tragic. That shit is fucking hilarious."

"Dracula seems to have abandoned his wife, Dolores, out of grief for their dead son, leaving her to grieve for Janus at his gravestone. It's actually a kind of sad scene, at least it would be if his gravestone didn't say Rest In Peaee."

"The first hour is as boring as ever, even though they're doing the running and explaining with the less bad haircut. The little bit after that, snore-inducingly bad, but the last forty minutes are laugh-out-loud funny, and I guarantee you if Gerry Anderson had come up with that plot for Thunderbirds or Stingray, he would have torn the place up. The skydiving implications of it are so staggering. In a way, I want to tell you what happens at the end because the end is so funny."

The comic's main villain, an old school dean who once expelled Chris for good reason, is, in the comic, an evil witch who uses a brain control ray to transform the inhabitants of CWCville into her slaves (read: mall guards). Chris explains to the audience that this ray only works on the slow-in-mind. Hilarity ensues when you realize this means that whenever Sonichu and friends fight Mary Lee's minions, they are actually beating through wave after wave of the mentally handicapped.

“Be brave like my mother. Otherwise, you disgrace her.” Oh, snap, that’s harsh—
“Otherwise, she died for nothing.” O SNAP NOW YOU’VE REALLY GOT HIM
“Otherwise, the bowl will remain empty, forever.” Aaaaaand you’ve oversold it. There was a Line of Bathos, and you crossed it. I know it’s a metaphorical fish, but sweetie, that fish ain’t comin’ back.

You would have to have a heart of stone to watch Rory laying down his own life to save Amy (for the sixteenth or seventeenth time) without giggling, at least a little.
Andrew Rilstone reviewing Doctor Who, The Angels Take Manhattan in The Viewer's Tale

Zeebo: Give it back...
JonTron: Oh, hey. This is getting kinda scary...
Zeebo: (Circus music kicks in) GIVE IT BAAAAAACK!
JonTron: ...Aaaand they blew it!

In rough cut, The Lonely Lady was one of the funniest bad movies ever made. Sadly, its makers previewed their film in Long Beach a week or two after I saw the rough cut, and, realizing what a total turkey they had in their hands, went through the movie trying desperately to cut all the laughs. But without the laughs, the movie was about 17 minutes long.
John Wilson, The Official Razzie Movie Guide

As I said previously, I really think this book suffers for its audience. There's a paradox in the subject matter; on the one hand, Lasky wants to deal with themes such as Stockholm Syndrome, cannibalism, and child soldiers, but at the same time, she has to write these themes so they're accessible to her audience... which, unfortunately, is elementary and middle school students.
It's really ridiculous at times. One minute, the characters will be discussing cannibalism of children and even unhatched fetuses, and yet the next minute they'll be vowing to beat the "badbutts". Really? The cannibalistic badbutts?