Quotes: Narm

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The absurdity of the situation put its pathos to the rout.
Charles Dickens, Our Mutual Friend

The Frightbot told a story so scary you couldn't help but laugh.

He was sobbing so hard that he began to hiccup.
Lorelei Mackenzie, Picard's Illumination

David St. Hubbins: I think that the problem *may* have been that there was a "Stonehenge" monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.
Ian Faith: I really think you're just making much too big a thing out of it.
Derek Smalls: Making a big thing out of it would have been a good idea.
The members of Spinal Tap, discussing one of their many in-universe experiences with the trope, This Is Spinal Tap

My arm... is numb. Numb arm... numb arm... narm NARM- *thud*
Nate, Six Feet Under

The miracle never happen.
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice for All (Bad Ending)


I should have been the one to fill your dark soul with LIIIIIIIIIGHT!
Dante, Devil May Cry

Join me, Link, and I will make your face the grrrrrreatest in Koridai! Or else you will DIE.
Ganon, Link: The Faces of Evil and Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon, respectively (and by the way, every single line from these games could probably be quoted here, but those two are arguably the Narmiest.)

........................................my boat.
The Mariner, Waterworld

William Forrester, Finding Forrester

I, Garland, will knock you all down!

Don't walk you away,
I can find
Don't walk you away,
I can smile
All in one right,
all in one yeah!
Start all again
— The (on-screen) lyrics to the DJMAX song Fallen Angel

That was TOO close! You were almost a JILL SANDWICH!
Barry Burton, Resident Evil

Then its settled. Lets have fun tonight because it is... IT'S PARTY TIME!
Minh, Blood+

I'll kill you! I'll kill you to death!
Superboy-Prime, Countdown To Infinite Crisis

— Love is Breaking My Heart by Grave Digger

NOOOO! MY LOVE! Accept it! Accept it! ACCEPT IT!
Zommari Leroux, Bleach


Holy cosmos, look at that thing! So, thats the dragon of the legends? My gosh! Thats one whopper of a lizard!

Johnny, The Room

I should not be laughing! This is a terrible situation! And yet... I find myself unable to resist... your influence!
Jorgen Von Strangle, in The Jimmy/Timmy Power Hour 2: When Nerds Collide after he blasts Jimmy and Timmy into a ditch.

The sublime and the ridiculous are often so nearly related, that it is difficult to class them separately. One step above the sublime, makes the ridiculous; and one step above the ridiculous, makes the sublime again.
Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason, (1795)

Misjudging whether to go big or small is, dramatically, a huge problem. The entire tightrope of dramatic effectiveness hinges on getting the balance right. The line between pathos and bathos is razor thin, and tumbling off of it can be the difference between brilliant and a disaster that will be mocked for the ages.

The actress for Jill was a high-school girl at the time and she had to run around in the middle of the night and got mosquito bites, so she made that face; "I wanna go home!" ...I didn't have enough time and money, also I should have picked the actors based on performances but it's too late now of course.
—Lead developer Shinji Mikami on the FMV cutscene to Resident Evil

It's hard to argue with this selection. My 12-year-old son, Rob, was going through a pile of ballots, and he asked me how "MacArthur Park" goes, so I sang it, giving it my best shot, and Rob laughed so hard that when I got to the part about leaving the cake out in the rain, and it took so long to bake it, and I'll never have that recipe again, Rob was on the floor. He didn't BELIEVE those lyrics were real. He was SURE his wacky old humor-columnist dad was making them up.
Dave Barry on the worst song ever recorded

I’m not surprised that Gillian Anderson spoke her lines in a comical fashion, they are certainly written that way (all this ‘she’s been carrying on with the butcher!’ is pure Carry On X-Files). Apparently Chris Carter had to remind her that this was a serious episode which I think is the biggest joke of all.
Joe Ford on The X-Files, "Chinga"

So Archer speaks his first line, and true to form, it's a line that indicates just how oblivious he really is. "Starfleet didn't send us out here to humiliate ourselves!"

Now, just hold the phone. It's amazing that I can digress this much, and I don't think I've even reached the 15 second mark of the episode yet. But, come on. Given the hopeless bumbling, and all the retarded decisions made by this crew since day one, one thing I can say for sure is that this must be exactly why Starfleet sent them out into space: to be humiliated.
The Agony Booth on Star Trek: Enterprise, "A Night in Sickbay"

Chris: Remember that really good episode of Justice League Unlimited about Booster Gold? This is basically the opposite of that...the Booster Gold infomercial that they ran part of in the preview last week was seriously the high point of the show.
David: I loved all of the commercial scenes, but that’s not because the show tried really hard to get the vibe of a Booster Gold informercial and reached an aspired-to level of cheesiness, it’s because the show is naturally at the level of craft and subtlety of a Booster Gold infomercial.
Chris: Zing!
Smallvillains on Smallville (Booster)

Arnold rips his throat out, turns to the camera and bellows, HERE'S SUB ZERO. NOW! PLAIN ZERO!!! I honestly can't conceive of a world where there's a more badass thing to say after killing someone named Sub Zero. We are so blessed to have Running Man in our lives.

'I love the Power Glove,' he tells them, sounding almost fearful of the power he controls with it. 'It's so bad.' And the legend of The Wizard is born. It's the dead seriousness of this line that really makes this scene immortal. This actor sells it like he's Hal Jordan gifted with this godlike artifact of immeasurable power, something to be feared and respected. He gives it the same battle-hardened, post-orgiastic tone as the classic 'I love the smell of napalm in the morning' line from Apocalypse Now.

I personally love when [the film] tries to build up how badass Steven Seagal is by saying something to the effect of You could drop him in the middle of Antartica with only his skivvies and he would show up at your pool the next day with a tan and a fistful of pesos. That is just brilliant. This movie is simply hilarious and is funnier than most comedies out there today. You aren’t a movie fan until you are a Seagal connoisseur.

I've seen comedies with fewer laughs than Body of Evidence, and this is a movie that isn'''t even trying to be funny.

And then, in the single most amazing moment of the film, he steps backwards onto an escalator that seems to appear out of f***ing nowhere and says 'Y’all be cool, now.' ...I swear, it’s like they were in a meeting going 'What do super-heroes do after they do a good deed? They fly away, right?' 'Well, we don’t have the budget for that. What if he just rode up an escalator instead?' It’s shot in the exact same style of the classic 'Superman flies away' scene, and there’s even a gust of wind as he goes up the escalator. It’s… I love it. Pure, unironic love. It’s the best.
Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Steel

The Reunion is a 2011 action movie starring John Cena...Netflix also labels this as a comedy, but any laughter is purely unintentional.
Wrestlecrap on The Reunion (2011)

Of all people, Nguyen best sums up why Birdemic works in the bonus features: When an audience member sarcastically asks why his film is so awesome, he responds with one word: Sincerity
Andrew Kasch, Dread Central's Birdemic: Shock and Terror DVD/Blu-Ray review

Now, is General Grievous supposed to be funny? 'Cause they said he was a villain, right? Not a comedian? Like Larry Seinfeld? But also a creepy weirdo, like Jerry Flint? (I'''m so confused.)
Mr. Plinkett, Revenge of the Sith review

That's what makes The Wicker Man so great: the giant abyss between what it wants to be and what it actually is. It's a horror movie with no scares, occurring entirely in broad daylight. It's a psychological thriller with no thrills, or psychology. When it goes for creepy, you just laugh, partially because Nic Cage's reactions are just as nonsensical as the movie itself. He's in the movie, but clearly doesn't know what the hell it's about... When he learns the cult is into selective breeding and ritual sacrifice, his response is a mild I don't GET you. I don't GET this place. When faced with unspeakable horror, Cage seemingly thought to himself, 'What would Chandler Bing say?'

There aren't many video games that I've actually been embarrassed to have people watching me play.

When we judge a game like this, how do we do it? Do we judge simply on gameplay? If so, the repetitive combat and long drives around town may very well mark it as a mediocre title. Do we judge it on story quality? If so, then we have a game that makes no sense and frequently makes light of murder and sexual deviancy. I say a game needs to be judged by how often it made you happy, how much you laughed or became excited, and how long you spend thinking about it after it was finished. If we judge it by those standards, then Deadly Premonition, my friends, is simply stunning. No other game has made me laugh so hard, laugh almost to the point of tears, laugh just by thinking about it. Deadly Premonition may well be the first game reviewed almost purely for its comedic value, but for a game so funny, it has to be done.
Jim Sterling of Destructoid

Laughter is something that Demolition Man is good at generating but, as you can probably guess, most of the funniest bits are supposed to be serious... It's incidents like when Wesley Snipes gets whacked twice with a TV set and barely suffers a bruise that make up the real humor.

Spider-man gave Mary Jane cancer by tragically shooting her up repeatedly with his horrible radioactive Spider-Semen. His horrible radioactive Spider-Semen. That’s not tragic. That shit is fucking hilarious.

Every single girl moves around with a Boing or two, no matter how serious the scene is. Just when you start getting into the dialogue, there it is: Boing.

Dracula seems to have abandoned his wife, Dolores, out of grief for their dead son, leaving her to grieve for Janus at his gravestone. It's actually a kind of sad scene, at least it would be if his gravestone didn't say Rest In Peaee.

The comic's main villain, an old school dean who once expelled Chris for good reason, is, in the comic, an evil witch who uses a brain control ray to transform the inhabitants of CWCville into her slaves (read: mall guards). Chris explains to the audience that this ray only works on the slow-in-mind. Hilarity ensues when you realize this means that whenever Sonichu and friends fight Mary Lee's minions, they are actually beating through wave after wave of the mentally handicapped.

“Be brave like my mother. Otherwise, you disgrace her.” Oh, snap, that’s harsh—
“Otherwise, she died for nothing.” O SNAP NOW YOU’VE REALLY GOT HIM
“Otherwise, the bowl will remain empty, forever.” Aaaaaand you’ve oversold it. There was a Line of Bathos, and you crossed it. I know it’s a metaphorical fish, but sweetie, that fish ain’t comin’ back.

You would have to have a heart of stone to watch Rory laying down his own life to save Amy (for the sixteenth or seventeenth time) without giggling, at least a little
Andrew Rilstone reviewing Doctor Who, The Angels Take Manhattan in The Writer's Tale