Laconic Main Quotes main index Narrative
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"This is a temple dedicated to evil. It's built on a desecrated burial ground where other more ancient desecrated burial grounds went when they got evil built over them. The architect was a Necromancer and the contractors were in the Eldritch Mafia."
— Drizz'l, 8-Bit Theater
White Mage: What I want to know is this: HOW did you get us lost?
Black Belt: Look. This isn't as easy as I make it look, y'know. It's not like this is some ordinary run-down castle. This is the Temple of Fiends! FIENDS, I say! Do you have any idea what that does to a place? Hm? Do you? This is architecture of insanity. The towers of madness! So excuse me if we have trouble navigating through the abnormal psychology imbued within these walls.
White Mage: "Abnormal psychology"? "Architecture of insanity?" What are you babbling about? This castle isn't some twisted experiment in non-euclidean geometry! It wasn't erected by demons of madness and it's not built on purely theoretical Escher-teric physics. It's a straight run! A blind, mentally deficient monkey could've found his way!
Black Belt: These monkeys of which you speak. Are they mentally deficient by human standards or by monkey standards? Because that could really make a difference, if ya think about it.
"So, this must be Garland's haunted mansion... Talk about bad taste in interior decorating."
— Zidane, Final Fantasy IX
"God, who designed this room, M.C. Escher? ...Why is there a ladder here if it doesn't go anywhere? I don't know... a scientist's job is to try to make sense of the world around him, but this whole building is crazy. Blocked exits. Gordian Knot airducts. A giant box-smashing room. It doesn't add up! The only time I feel like I know what I'm doing is when I'm shooting or breaking things..."
A schedule for the Derailed Express. Huh. It's scheduled to derail at 4:15. Weird.
— Wario Land Shake It, description for the Derailed Express Timetable
"I don't believe in a standing army. I believe in cruel and unusual architecture."
— Dwarf Fortress player Pickled Tink, on the forums 
Sweet Bro: FUCK IM FALLING DOWN ALL THESE STAIRS...................
Hella Jeff: I WARNED YOU ABOUT STAIRS BRO!!!! I TOLD YOU DOG!
Sweet Bro: IT KEEPS HAPPENING
Hella Jeff: I TOLD YOU MAN I TOLD YOU ABOUT STAIRS!
— Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, extolling the inherent evil of stairs
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