"One day I was met by a delegation of Trekkies at my front door and when I asked them what they were doing here, they reminded me I had said to them 'I hope to see you again someday soon'. They only understood what I meant after I ran to get my shotgun. Unfortunately, they were gone by the time I locked and loaded."
"Literally the day after he was woken up at 4am by a woman in her mid-40s sitting in his library (or as he calls it, the room with books), the come-to-life shaka sign found another unwanted fan in his home...a woman entered Keanuís home through an unlocked door and immediately stripped off her clothes and took a shower. Once she was done trying to wash off the crazy, she decided to take a naked swim in his pool. It was at this point that Keanu (who wasnít at home, probably because he was still at the police station taking care of the first crazy lady situation) received a call from a cleaning crew in his house...So Keanu calmly thanked them for calling to let him know his house is now infested with crazy, and he called the police. Once again, the crazy lady skinny dipper was taken away for a psychiatric evaluation. Iím not a doctor, but Iím going to guess she was diagnosed with 90s Hunk Fever.
I knew that Neo still had the skills to drop panties faster than a bus driving with a bomb under it, but DAMN! These women will straight-up home invade a bitch for a taste of Ted Loganís wyld trouser stallyn! Donít they realize they donít need to be so crazy? Keanu is chill as fuck! I bet if you asked nicely, heíd invite you over and teach you some pants-less tai chi."
Syndrome: You know, I went through quite a few supers to make it worthy to fight you, but man, it wasn't good enough! After you trashed the last one, I had to make some major modifications. Sure, it was difficult, but you are worth it! I mean, after all... I am your biggest fan.
Mr. Incredible: ...Buddy?
Syndrome: My name is not Buddy! And it's not Incrediboy, either. That ship has sailed. All I wanted was to help you. I only wanted to help, and what do you say to me?
Trish Stratus: Mickie James, why do I know that name, Mickie James?
Mickie James: Huh? Yeah, I'm like your biggest fan! I mean I've written you like a zillion times, I know you don't have time to write me back it's okay. You're very busy, I mean you're the women's champion, I mean you know but it's super nice to meet you I mean I idolize you! I love you Trish, like I want to be just like you!
—WWE Raw, October 10, 2005.
I thought we were going to get killed by people who didn't like us, Glod thought. Now I think it's possible to get killed by people who love us...
And when we meet I'll be complete.
I'll shake your hand and kiss your feet,
confess my love and buy you flowers.
And eat your heart and absorb your powers.
—Lemon Demon, "Bill Watterson"
Yup, these are my readers.
— The Sports Guy Bill Simmons, on the eccentric behavior of his audience