He'd mess up every rescue / Man, that first mate was illin'
If I was one of those Castaways / I think I'd probably kill 'im
She said, "That guy's a genius" / I shook my head and laughed
I said, "If he's so fly, then tell me why / He couldn't build a lousy raft"
— "Weird Al" Yankovic, "Isle Thing"
"Without my emotions I am thinking quite logically. For example, the reason they couldn't build a boat on "Gilligan's Island" is because it would end the series"
— Emotionless Timmy Turner, Fairly OddParents
"Man; do they realize how many times they could've gotten off that island if it weren't for Gilligan? *beat* Why don't they just kill him?"
— Brighton Sheffield, The Nanny
Found your pants! Series is over!
"Invasive Procedures is also the single biggest demonstration of the problems facing Quark as a main character. Quite frankly, he’s a convenient tool for lazy writers to endanger the station. The first season had quite a few 'Quark does something illegal and/or stupid to get the plot moving' hooks in stories like Babel, Q-Less, The Passenger, Move Along Home and Vortex. Not all of them were entirely foreseeable, but it undermines the character to use him as such a convenient plot device, and it makes the regular cast look like idiots for keeping him around. Here, he makes an exceedingly stupid mistake with incredibly foreseeable consequences. It’s hard to argue with Yeto’s assessment that, in letting a bunch of armed Klingons on to an abandoned station, Quark is a 'stupid Ferengi.' ...This makes Quark look like an idiot, but also undermines the ensemble."