He'd mess up every rescue / Man, that first mate was illin'
If I was one of those Castaways / I think I'd probably kill 'im
She said, "That guy's a genius" / I shook my head and laughed
I said, "If he's so fly, then tell me why / He couldn't build a lousy raft"
— "Weird Al" Yankovic, "Isle Thing"
"Without my emotions I am thinking quite logically. For example, the reason they couldn't build a boat on "Gilligan's Island" is because it would end the series"
— Emotionless Timmy Turner, Fairly OddParents
"Man; do they realize how many times they could've gotten off that island if it weren't for Gilligan? *beat* Why don't they just kill him?"
— Brighton Sheffield, The Nanny
Found your pants! Series is over!
"No matter how much judgement you can throw at Janet Fielding and Tegan, you have to triple that for Matthew Waterhouse and Adric. How unbelievably spiteful, insulting and unreasonable is he in this story? As irritating as pubic louse and just as nasty. Adric declares that all women are mindless, impatient and bossy and judging by the look on Teganís face she's ready to shove his little winkie in a blender and serve it up as an Alzarian smoothie...Only a true geek that is asking for a bruising would ask for 'sodium chloride' rather than salt. Nyssa gets a gentle shove and Adric, that well-known boxer of men, steps in: ĎDonít you do that to her!í When Adric agrees with Monarch, he finally puts to rest the hotly debated topic of whether Adric thinks and acts like a retard: yes, yes he does. It's not even as though the little dunce is going along with Monarch's ludicrous scheme to put himself in the position to affect their escape, he genuinely believes in this crusty frog and his web of lies. This is the middle adventure of three that sees Adric working for the enemy and you have to ask yourself why the Doctor bothers keeping him around...The final insult is that Adric has to be convinced to help the Doctor defeat Monarch."
"Invasive Procedures is also the single biggest demonstration of the problems facing Quark as a main character. Quite frankly, heís a convenient tool for lazy writers to endanger the station. The first season had quite a few 'Quark does something illegal and/or stupid to get the plot moving' hooks in stories like Babel, Q-Less, The Passenger, Move Along Home and Vortex. Not all of them were entirely foreseeable, but it undermines the character to use him as such a convenient plot device, and it makes the regular cast look like idiots for keeping him around. Here, he makes an exceedingly stupid mistake with incredibly foreseeable consequences. Itís hard to argue with Yetoís assessment that, in letting a bunch of armed Klingons on to an abandoned station, Quark is a 'stupid Ferengi.' ...This makes Quark look like an idiot, but also undermines the ensemble."