Quotes / If I Had a Nickel...

"I don't get paid to pick up your smelly socks! If I did, I'd be a rich woman!"

— Mrs. Tuesday, Clarice Bean

Atrocitus: There are things worse than death, Green Lantern.
Sinestro: If I had a Power Ring for every time I heard that, I would have my own Corps.

—Green Lantern: Emerald Knights

"Theoretically it's impossible to have an accident with every air vehicle in the city fully computer-piloted, but if I had a credit for every time the phrase "theoretically impossible" was juxtaposed with some version of "oh, phekk", I could retire."

— Elenya, The Wrong Reflection

Supergirl: There is a girl there. A prisoner. Test subject. She needs our help.
Batgirl: And how'd you find out about her?
Supergirl: Long-distance telepathic transmission. Only I can hear her.
Batgirl: Ah, the old incarcerated psychic trick. If I had a nickel for every time—

— Escape from the Phantom Zone

"If I had a nickel for every e-mail I get, I'd throw them at people in the food court. Like from that railing. Like from up above."

— Strong Bad, Strong Bad Email

Batgirl: Nothing sadder than a crying Dracula.
Supergirl: If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that...
Batgirl: You'd have a nickel?
Supergirl: I'd have a nickel.

— Batgirl (2009) #14

"If I got a dime every single time someone said 'Tonight, Batman will die'
Man, I'd be set for the rest of life; I wouldn't even need Wayne Enterprise!"

—JT Music, "Say Goodbye to Batman"

"If I had a nickel for every time I saw a big Japanese video game auteur that's a fan of sexy people getting uncomfortably philosophical, I'd have three nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened thrice."

— Josh Scorcher, "Top Ten Fun Yet Depressing Video Games"

Orchid: You owe me a toy, Oscar!
Oscar: What? Wait, what- what is it, your birthday? [stammering]
Orchid: You can't just go around boxing up people's toys without asking!
Olive: Whoa, whoa. That wasn't Oscar. It was an Oscarbot.
Orchid: If I had a nickel every time someone said that, I would have nooooo nickels.
Oscar: You would have one, heh...'cause now.

— Odd Squad, "No Ifs, Ands, or Robots"

"If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a really weird way."

— Mitch Hedberg

"Humph! 'I'll be back!' If I had a carrot for every time I heard that, I'd be a very fat rabbit!"

—Mr. Herriman, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, "House of Bloo's"

"If only I had a dumpling for every time a villain told me how much we had in common."

—Po, Kung Fu Panda 4

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