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Quotes: Destructo-Nookie
If your sex does require an emergency supply kit, and ends up with someone passed out, covered in hives and bleeding while the fire department is kicking your door in, we humbly suggest you just seriously did something wrong. Like really wrong. Whatever you were doing, don't do it again. For the love of God, don't do it again.
When did the building fall down?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, after having truly destructive sex with Spike.

That...got a little dark.
Sterling Archer, after a 3-way with Lana and an arms dealer that involves chocolate smeared everywhere

Bashir: A compound fracture of the right radius, two fractured ribs, torn ligaments, strained tendons, numerous contusions, bruises and scratches - what have you been doing?
Quark: You mean...(to his unscratched Klingon girlfriend) what have we been doing? (they laugh)
Bashir: Never mind. I don't need that particular image running around my head - I'll just treat you.
(Jadzia and Worf stagger in, supporting each other)
Bashir: What happened to you two?
Worf: We, um -
Jadzia: Well, um, if you must know -
Bashir: No! No, uh, I don't need that image either. In fact, I - I'm going to stop asking that question altogether. People can come in, I will treat them, and that's all.

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