Anime & Manga
At my school everybody loves Chainsaw Man. He's great right?! The chainsaws are goretastic, but that's what's so cool about him. Not that I know the dude, but I bet he's this incredible, seriously great guy. Btw, just my guess Chainsaw Man's number is 34-
— Denji giving an interview about his alter ego, Chainsaw Man
Comic Books
I... I knew Howard Rushmore
, okay? H-he was misunderstood. Coming from Depression-hit Missouri, I, that is, he turned against communism when The Daily Worker wanted him to pan Gone With The Wind. At Confidential, I, um, Rushmore persecuted reds, fairies, mixed race couples, the works! A-all he wanted was a happy western-movie ending for America. Getting remarried before divorcing was an oversight, as was faking his own kidnapping after testifying against Confidential itself. Everybody hated him. Then earlier tonight, he shoots his wife, th-then himself. But he's dead now, right? Us dead people, we got forever. We let bygones be bygones. I mean, c'mon, whaddaya say?
, okay? H-he was misunderstood. Coming from Depression-hit Missouri, I, that is, he turned against communism when The Daily Worker wanted him to pan Gone With The Wind. At Confidential, I, um, Rushmore persecuted reds, fairies, mixed race couples, the works! A-all he wanted was a happy western-movie ending for America. Getting remarried before divorcing was an oversight, as was faking his own kidnapping after testifying against Confidential itself. Everybody hated him. Then earlier tonight, he shoots his wife, th-then himself. But he's dead now, right? Us dead people, we got forever. We let bygones be bygones. I mean, c'mon, whaddaya say?[the other dead Hollywood personalities - his victims - are completely silent]
Boy, it sure is cold in here...
—Howard Rushmore, Cinema Purgatorio
Fan Works
Sora: A-aren't you startled at all, Kanade? H-how can you stay calm... when you're looking at this...
The murderer: Well, I was surprised... I guess you could say that... The culprit this time... is definitely no joke. Haha.
The murderer: Well, I was surprised... I guess you could say that... The culprit this time... is definitely no joke. Haha.
Film — Animated
Robin Hood: [in disguise] Oh, um, by the way, I hear you're 'aving a bit of trouble getting your 'ands on that Robin Hood.
Sheriff of Nottingham: He's scared of me, that's what he is. You notice he didn't show up here today. Heh, I can spot him through them phony disguises.
Sheriff of Nottingham: He's scared of me, that's what he is. You notice he didn't show up here today. Heh, I can spot him through them phony disguises.
Literature
Kurt: We’re under the tyranny of supervillains. Heroes don’t have what it takes. Used to be they were outnumbered but they were trying, making a difference in little ways. Now they’re outnumbered and losing. What’s the point?
Taylor: Just a hypothetical question, but isn’t it better to be in a city that works, where villains rule the streets, instead of a failed city with the same villains in a less prominent position?
— Worm
Live-Action TV
Managing partner: In fact, fire everyone on that project. Druthers, Mosby, the whole lot of them.
Ted Mosby: Mosby, sir? I hear Mosby's doing some great work.
Managing partner: Fine, Mosby can stay, but tell him he's on thin ice!
Ted Mosby: Mosby, sir? I hear Mosby's doing some great work.
Managing partner: Fine, Mosby can stay, but tell him he's on thin ice!
Barney Stinson!
Barney Stinson!
That guy's awesome!
Awesome!
He's so awesome!
He's so awesome!
Oh so awesome!
Awesome!
That would be a really lame!
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother, "Possimpibile"
"Just look at that face. The face of a thinker. A warrior. A man for all seasons. Yes, Ira Graves was all that and more. But he was not perfect. Perhaps his greatest fault was that he was too selfless. He cared too much for his fellow man, with nary a thought for himself. A man of limitless accomplishments, and unbridled modesty. I can safely say that to know him was to love him. And to love him was to know him. Those who knew him, loved him, while those who did not know him, loved him from afar."
— Ira Graves in the android body of Data, eulogizing himself, Star Trek: The Next Generation, "The Schizoid Man"
Tabletop Games
Objectively speaking, of all the dragons, Bahamut has made all the best decisions. He is also the most handsome. And his hoard is the gigantic-est.
— Fizban, Bahamut's humanoid persona, commenting on the entry for Aspects of Bahamut in Fizban's Treasury of Dragons.
Video Games
Toby? What the hell is that? Sounds... sexy.
— Mettaton EX if the player types "Toby" for the essay question, Undertale (by Toby Fox)
Web Video
A buddy of mine said he saw Kylo Ren take his shirt off in the shower. And he said that Kylo Ren had an eight pack. That Kylo Ren was shredded.
Sun Wukong: (disguised as a demon) Whoa, Tripitaka? But I hear he's under the protection of the terrifying and devastatingly handsome Sun Wukong!
— Overly Sarcastic Productions, "Journey to the West part VI"
TotallyNotTheAuthor'sSockpuppet: The author IS right! This review is TERRIBLE! And I completely agree with the extremely handsome author who is also super talented.
— Terrible Writing Advice, "Taking Criticism"
Let's play out the sequence of events. What's the last thing we heard Sykkuno say last time? "Whoever did it is a gigabrain genius"! He only says that when [the imposter is] him!
Western Animation
Cartman: Hey, so, um, as I'm going through peoples' e-mails and phone calls, um, how do I know which people to start with?
NSA Agent #1: Pretty simple. Everyone has a file. People who have a status of "threat", "possible threat" or "person of interest" are the ones we really want to look at.
NSA Agent #2: The more we pay attention to them, the bigger their file becomes.
Cartman: Really? How big is my file?
NSA Agent #2: Huh?
Cartman: Uh, that is, uh, y-you must have a pretty big file on Eric Cartman? All his blogs and e-mails have been watched for quite some time.
NSA Agent #1: Jarvis, what have we got on an Eric Cartman? Any files on Eric Cartman?
Jarvis: Uh, yeah. We tracked him for a little bit, but Central Computer designated his status as "fat and unimportant".
Cartman: Uh, trust me, he is not fat and unimportant. I think we need to changed his status to "ripped and sweet". Scuze me! Hey, scuze me, there's a very important threat to national security! We need to change Eric Cartman's status!
NSA Agent #1: Pretty simple. Everyone has a file. People who have a status of "threat", "possible threat" or "person of interest" are the ones we really want to look at.
NSA Agent #2: The more we pay attention to them, the bigger their file becomes.
Cartman: Really? How big is my file?
NSA Agent #2: Huh?
Cartman: Uh, that is, uh, y-you must have a pretty big file on Eric Cartman? All his blogs and e-mails have been watched for quite some time.
NSA Agent #1: Jarvis, what have we got on an Eric Cartman? Any files on Eric Cartman?
Jarvis: Uh, yeah. We tracked him for a little bit, but Central Computer designated his status as "fat and unimportant".
Cartman: Uh, trust me, he is not fat and unimportant. I think we need to changed his status to "ripped and sweet". Scuze me! Hey, scuze me, there's a very important threat to national security! We need to change Eric Cartman's status!
— South Park, "Let Go, Let Gov"
Receptionist: [answers phone] Rubber Baby Buggy Bumper Babysitting Service...
Homer: Hello, this is Mister... Sampson.
Receptionist: Did your wife just call a second ago?
Homer: No, I said "Sampson", not "Simpson".
Receptionist: Thank God! Those Simpsons, what a bunch of savages. Especially that big ape father.
Homer: D'oh! [teeth clenched] Actually, the Simpsons are neighbors of ours and we found them to be a quite misunderstood and underrated family.
Homer: Hello, this is Mister... Sampson.
Receptionist: Did your wife just call a second ago?
Homer: No, I said "Sampson", not "Simpson".
Receptionist: Thank God! Those Simpsons, what a bunch of savages. Especially that big ape father.
Homer: D'oh! [teeth clenched] Actually, the Simpsons are neighbors of ours and we found them to be a quite misunderstood and underrated family.
— The Simpsons, "Some Enchanted Evening"
"Jake Boyman": So, do you miss having the girls around?
Milhouse: Nah, girls never really got me.
"Jake Boyman": Did you know Lisa Simpson? I heard she was pretty cool.
Milhouse: Lisa? Oh yeah, we totally had a thing, but I had to break it off.
"Jake Boyman": WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!
Milhouse: She got too clingy. Milhouse doesn't do clingy.
Milhouse: Nah, girls never really got me.
"Jake Boyman": Did you know Lisa Simpson? I heard she was pretty cool.
Milhouse: Lisa? Oh yeah, we totally had a thing, but I had to break it off.
"Jake Boyman": WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!
Milhouse: She got too clingy. Milhouse doesn't do clingy.
— The Simpsons, "Girls Just Want to Have Sums"
Buster: When the film Kon Ducki came to the screen, it captured the imagination of millions. But how was it done? What genius had the strength, patience, and insight to see it through? Who was so brilliant? So smart? So intelligent? Who wrote this stuff?
Plucky: Just read it.
Plucky: Just read it.
— Tiny Toon Adventures, "Kon Ducki"
