Quotes / Brick Joke

"I gotta be honest. I was hoping this whole Chaos thing was going to turn out to be like a metaphor."
Red Mage, 8-Bit Theater

Danny: Have you ever fired your gun up in the air and gone "Aaaagh"?
Nick: No, I have not ever fired my gun up in the air and gone "Aaaagh"!

Danny: Have you ever fired two guns whilst jumping through the air?
Nick: No.
Danny: Have you ever fired one gun whilst jumping through the air?
Nick: No.
Danny: Have you ever been in a high-speed pursuit?
Nick: Yes, I have.
Danny: Have you ever fired your gun whilst in a high-speed pursuit?
Nick: No!
Hot Fuzz note 

Yzma: Pull the lever, Kronk!
[Kronk pulls lever. Yzma drops through floor out of sight]
Yzma: [fading voice] Wrong lever!... [walking out of crocodile pit] Why do we even have that lever?
[almost an hour later]
Kuzco: [walking out of crocodile pit] Ok, why does she even have that lever?

Passenger 2: Now, should I give you the money or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass? Hee-hee!
Willie: Why you fucking hard-on! I'll fucking Carlton Fisk your fucking head with a Louisville, fucking slugger! What do you think of that, assfuck!?
[Minutes later]
Passenger 6: Yeah, do you want the money or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass?
Willie: We-he-hell, I already heard that one, you fucking unoriginal bastard! Go suck a cock, you piece of fucking, repeating shit!

Norrington: You are, without a doubt, the worst pirate I have ever heard of.
Jack: But you have heard of me.
[after Jack steals a ship that needs a crew of fifty with two people, all while dodging an entire army]
Groves: ...that's got to be the best pirate I've ever heard of.
Norrington: [Death Glare]

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/BrickJoke