Unspoken Retort

The world of fiction makes it possible for us to hear what others are thinking, whether via voice-over in movies or TV shows, a soliloquy in a theater performance, or thought balloons in printed media such as comic strips or books.

Sometimes these unspoken thoughts are retorts that a character, often the Only Sane Man, will have in their head, but for one reason or another, they do not voice aloud. The retort could place them in the category of Deadpan Snarker, but voicing it aloud could be something they're unable or unwilling to do. Perhaps the person they're retorting to is of a much higher social status, and they fear backlash not only from the subject of their retort but from their adoring fans as well. Perhaps they are an employer or supervisor who can fire them, or give them a heavier workload if the thought were voiced aloud. It might be the retort is directed at a friend or Love Interest who they are afraid of alienating if they voice it aloud. Or it could be a matter of peer pressure, knowing that if they voice their retort out in the open, they will be in the minority opinion.

If a character is known for their outspoken nature, but is suddenly doing their snarking in their head only, it could indicate that O.O.C. Is Serious Business, and show either that they have feelings for the person they are choosing not to vocally snark at, or that they are physically, mentally, or emotionally exhausted, either from overwork, stress, or illness, and don't have the physical energy to snark aloud.

Background characters who are rarely heard from could get this as a function in their A Day in the Limelight episodes, finally allowing us to learn more about them as a person.

Compare and contrast Silent Snarker, which is a character who cannot or will not speak, instead showing their snark through very obvious body language.

It might be the subject of an Imagine Spot before revealing that it was all in their head.

The Unspoken Retort could be a regular function for some characters, and a one-off for others, just so long as a retort is made audible to the audience, but not the other characters in-story, save perhaps for those pesky psychics and mind-readers. Indeed, it could be that knowing what someone was thinking in their head is a means of showing us that another character is a psychic.

A subversion of the trope may result in Did I Just Say That Out Loud?. Subtrope of Internal Monologue.

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Examples

Anime & Manga

• BanG Dream!: Frequently in the 4koma.
  • In one instance, Lisa sees Sayo in her role as head of the Discipline Committee, citing infractions about skirt length and such. Lisa thinks, "I'm always getting in trouble for stuff like that. I'm glad my school is different from hers."
  • In another strip, Lisa goes to a restaurant with Rimi and Arisa, and the younger girls bend over backwards to be polite and courteous to Lisa. Lisa thinks to herself that it's obvious that Sayo is on their disciplinary committee.
  • In another, Lisa has to miss practice, so Ako tries to fill in for her with "handling" Yukina. Yukina protests that Lisa doesn't do the things Ako is doing, to which Sayo thinks, "She doesn't?" And Rinko thinks, "I think she does."
• Chihayafuru:
  • At Doctor Harada's Karuta society, Chihaya is facing a player who is trying to take advantage of the fact that Chihaya goes after the Chihayafuru card, thinking smugly to himself that he has her number. However, it does him no good as he gets flustered whenever he makes eye contact with a cute girl, including Chihaya.
  • During Chihaya's first match against Shinobu, she manages to take a card off of the Queen, but not just any card. It's Shinobu's namesake card. Chihaya holds it up as she retrieves it, thinking, "And this card is tied to the Queen."
  • When Shinobu notices that Chihaya is still earnestly trying to win, rallying when so many of her other opponents whither under her skill, Shinobu smiles, thinking of Chihaya's determination, "Good job."
  • When Arata is facing Shinobu in competition, he calmly takes cards off of her, thinking with confidence, "You're breaking down, Shinobu."
• Lucky Star: Konata and Kagami are discussing the rigorous academic requirements needed to get into their school. Konata expresses amazement that Kagami's sister, Tsukasa managed to get in, which Kagami can't refute. All poor Tsukasa can do upon overhearing this exchange is to angrily think to herself, "Damn you, Kona-chan."
• My Love Story!!: While Suna has no issue with actually snarking at Takeo, there are times where much of what he's thinking is shown as thought bubbles rather than spoken aloud, such as thinking "You're too close" on a few occasions.
• Ranma ½:
  • During the Rhythmic Gymnastics arc, after Ranma and Ryoga have spent the night "training" (i.e. trying to kill each other), and an exhausted Ranma is absently chewing on a dish towel at breakfast, Akane thinks to herself, "That's it, we're doomed."
  • After Mikado kisses Girl-type Ranma, and Ranma runs off crying, Mikado comments on his kiss being too much for an innocent girl. Akane, having witnessed it, and being fully aware of Ranma's Gender Bender curse, sourly thinks to herself of Mikado, "You'd cry, too, if you knew who you kissed."
• School Rumble: Tsugumi, in a flashback, recalls a time she broke her glasses. Hanai collected the shards of glass for her and then offered to pedal her bike for her to get her home. She thinks he's like a samurai or knight...until he asks how much she weighs before they set out on the bike (from Hanai's perspective necessary to determine if he was capable of making the effort), to which Tsugumi dejectedly thinks, "So much for my knight in shining armor." She nevertheless does develop a one-sided crush on him.
• Wasteful Days of High School Girls:
  • In the first episode, Tanaka relates a series of vignettes about possible ways for her to meet a guy, all of which conclude with the guy saying "What an interesting girl." When Akane "Wota" Kikuchi asks her what's up with the phrase, Tanaka says that the third-rate heroine has to be somewhat interesting to get the guy. "Wota" then thinks to herself, "Well, at least she's aware on some level that she's third-rate." It also leads to Tanaka's well-deserved nickname "Baka". ^note Japanese for "idiot"
  • When "Loli" tells Lily that it was "Baka" who told her babies are made when the mother and father apply to the government, Lily refrains from mocking "Loli", while thinking darkly of "Baka", "BITCH!"
  • When Lily is first introduced to the class, she unabashedly tells them she's very into girls and hates boys. All the girls then picture a slot machine hitting the "Weirdo Jackpot". And then when "Baka" questions Lily about it outright, the rest of the class silently but unanimously agree that only "Baka" would be stupid enough to ask what they were all thinking to themselves.
  • "Waseda" frequently has moments like this, usually when dealing with "Baka" or "Yamai". For example, when giving supplemental lessons to "Baka", she proudly proclaims that she's got the solution, to which he is happy until she states that it was about her guy problems, not her lessons, to which he thinks, "I'd like that one unbridled moment of hope back, please." On one occasion, while trying to get "Yamai" to decide between the humanities or sciences route, he threatens to involve her parents, to which she immediately responds that she'll go with humanities. He silently laments, "That took literally two seconds." And on one occasion, he pulls "Yamai" aside to check on her well-being after she's wearing more bandages than usual, using sweet buns to coax her to come willingly. When it turns out that she was causing herself heat rashes, and hiding pimples, "Waseda" thinks to himself, "You've got to be kidding me. I've got half a mind to make you start paying for these glasses ^note Her antics frequently cause his glasses to break from the sheer stress, Yamamoto. And don't even think of eating that second bun."

Comic Strips

• Zits:
  • We enter one strip with Connie chastising her son, Jeremy, for some infraction or another, with her concluding her rant with a, "Well?". Jeremy rolls his eyes so hard they actually come off of his face and roll over to his father, Walt, himself no stranger to Connie's rants. Walt thinks to himself "Wow! That must've been a really stupid question."
  • One strip is Jeremy doing this entirely through another of his mother's rants, with him mentally telling himself how to respond, "Good eye contact. Slight tilt to the head...Lift eyebrows to show a little concern. Contrite nod...Brave but warm smile. I may not be a good listener, but I'm an attentive ignorer."
  • Connie is sarcastically responding to Jeremy sleeping in during summer break. Jeremy thinks to himself, "It's not summer unless your Mom is ragging on you about your sleeping habits."
  • After Connie adjusts Jeremy's clothing he thinks to himself, "Everything my Mom touches turns to Dork."
  • On one occasion, Jeremy actually compliments his Mom and calls her awesome. She then has a look of sheer bliss on her face, to which her husband thinks, "That look usually costs me a dozen roses and a half a bottle of wine."

Fan Works

• Dungeon Keeper Ami:
  • In "Seizing Heart Number 3", italics to show a minion's thoughts in text, after Ami's demonstration of the dangers of staying too long in enemy territory to explain her orders:
    "I shall follow your instructions to the letter." And work on my shields. The attack was nothing to sneeze at, but he thought he could fend it off if it didn't go off right in his face, which it had the potential to do, unfortunately.
  • From "A Minor Complication": When talking about how gods want money in exchange for power, Snyder, a worshipper of The Light, didn't want to get into a theological debate:
    Snyder pouted as the dark mage sneered at him but managed to bite back a sharp-tongued retort about how the Light didn't need to be bribed to provide help to the needy.
• Quizzical: Thweet Geniuth: From "The Trial of Quizzical Greystone": Twilight's snarking to an irritated mob at her door, in Think in Text italics:
  "We insist, Twilight, Dear," said Rarity, with a smile that looked like the prelude to somepony getting bitten.
  Well, at least you left your torches and pitchforks at home, thought Twilight.

Films — Live-Action

• The Beguiled: One of the girls vehemently thinks to herself that not tying the blue ribbon to the gate to alert Confederate soldiers to the presence of a wounded Union soldier is out and out treason.
• Snatch.: Turkish gets in three jabs like this towards Brick Top when the latter is negotiating with him to use his prize boxer Gorgeous George in one of Brick Top's unlicensed fights, whilst they're both at Brick Top's private pig farm, where he feeds the chopped-up bodies of people who've displeased him to those pigs.
  Brick Top: I hear he's a good fighter, so I'm gonna use him. I'll be doing you a favour, boy.
  Turkish: (narrating) What he means is I'm doing him a favour. 'Cause everybody knows no-one takes a dive in my fights, unlike his.
  Brick Top: Here, Errol. I don't think he likes me. (to Turkish) You don't like me, do you, boy?
  Turkish: Don't know what you mean. (narrating) I do know I can't wait to get out of here. Fuck me, it stinks.
  Brick Top: I'd like my fights to finish prompt so we can get the punters out before the authorities find out. Now, play your cards right, and I'll sort you out
  Turkish: (narrating) You can sort me out by showing me out.

Literature

• Candlelit Lives: Chapter 4: Retorting at something "simpler", not actually being so:
  "First, how old are you, Emil?"
  "Twelve, sir."
  The man chuckled. "I am no 'sir.' Simply [High Cleric] will do."
  How is that simpler?!?! Emil groused to himself about his etiquette lessons, but remained silent, offering only a small nod.
• In a Clarice Bean book, Mrs. Wilberton says to Clarice Bean, "You are utterly lacking in the concentration department, and a common housefly has more ability to apply itself". Clarice notes that she wants to reply, "Well, you are utterly lacking in the manners department, and a hippopotamus has more politeness than you!", but she won't because teachers are allowed to be rude, but not students.
• Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules: Greg says he uses Sherlock Sammy books as material for his book reports. The illustration shows Sammy telling a man that he should've converted Celsius to Fahrenheit, and a police officer thinks, "Geek!"
• Dork Diaries: A Running Gag throughout the series is Nikki imagining herself saying something smart-alecky towards someone, followed by her Character Catch Phrase of "But I just said that in my head, so no one heard it but me."
• Mr. Men: Mr. Clumsy causes total mayhem at Mr. Fussy's neat and tidy house for two weeks. When Mr. Clumsy moves on, Mr. Fussy says politely "It was very nice to see you", but the narrative says that he is thinking "It's very nice to see you going".
• Origami Yoda: In "The Secret of the Fortune Wookiee", Murky notes in his narration that whenever Randy the mall cop annoys the guys by reminding them that they can't be without an adult after 7 PM, he (Murky) thinks, "YEAH, RANDY, WE KNOW, BUT IT'S ONLY 5:30, YOU IDIOT!"
• Princesses of the Pizza Parlor: Pasta and Pupils: Investigator Konstantin interrupting his superior's meeting with a pretty woman, and Konstantin has some thoughts regarding how this was all of his superior's making, but those stay in his head:
  The look on Abbot Selixi's face left no doubt in the investigator that something had been interrupted, if only the old cleric's hopes and dreams. Tough toenails, as his own father would say; the Abbot had asked Konstantin to come as soon as he had details, and there was no point in sulking over the results.
• Ramona Quimby: Once, Ramona is feeling frustrated with the adults in her life. When her mother says, "What's gotten into you!?", she wants to reply, "Grown-ups!" but she decides not to.
• A Song of Ice and Fire: Davos Seaworth is a former smuggler and Hand of the King to Stannis Baratheon. When he goes to entreat with the immensely fat Lord Wyman Manderly, he is asked, "You have visited our city before, I think, taking coin from our pockets and food off our table. How much did you steal from me, I wonder?" Davos thinks, "Not enough that you ever missed a meal."

Live-Action TV

• Malcolm in the Middle: In "Malcolm Holds His Tongue", Malcolm decides to keep his opinions to himself, with his true thoughts being heard via inner monologue. As his stress at being Surrounded by Idiots increases throughout the episode, his thoughts become angrier until they sound borderline demonic.

Video Games

• Touhou Lost Branch Of Legend: Thoughts are in parentheses since that's the Japanese style:
  • Depending some random factor, in the "Assistance from Eientei" event, where Reisen gives an item to assist the ones who are searching for her master's lost stuff, when the player character asks her why Reisen's not helping out on the search for her master's lost item, her thoughts indicate that it's the player character that's been suckered into the work:
    Reisen Udongien Inaba: Thank you for your hard work. Master told me to provide you some supplies.
    [Supply is chosen]
    Reimu: Thanks a lot. But why aren't you going after the culprit yourself?
    Reisen: Ahaha.
    (Why do you think you're here?)
  • Part of a Chain of Deals that the player's doing. If it's Reimu who trades Yukari some eye cream for a Border Sensor because Yukari has eye bags from staying up late, after the trade, Reimu has Think in Text in parentheses about those non-sleeping habits:
    Reimu: (You'd better stop staying up late.)

Webcomics

• Discussed in The Glass Scientists, as Jasper recounts how he "told" his professors "You think me mad?! I'll show you who's mad! I'll show you all! WAHAHAHA!"
  Jasper: Or um, that's what I said in my head. I actually said something like "Yeah, that's fine I guess". But in a defiant way, y'know?
  Jekyll: I am familiar with the sentiment.
• Punderworld:
  • Demeter and Persephone are having an argument about attending Artemis's ascension as a goddess, with Persephone wanting to attend her party. Demeter at multiple points in the argument refers to it as "pointless frivolities", promoting such unspoken sarcasm from her daughter as, "Well, when she puts it like that...", And, "'Pointless frivolity'."
  • Hades is wandering around invisible, trying to find a trap he knows Zeus left for Persephone as part of his ill-advised but "well-meaning " attempt to play wingman to his brother. He finds Persephone looking over a chariot with a Pegasus harnessed to it. He wants to warn Persephone but doesn't want her to know he's there, so he keeps mentally responding to her assessments of the chariot with such unspoken retorts as, "Because it's obviously a trap!"

Western Animation

• Daria episode "The Road Worrier"
  • Daria usually has no issue giving voice to her trademark brand of snark at anyone, be it her teachers, her parents, her sister, or, on the few occasions where we see her working, her employer. However, due to being smitten with Trent, she keeps all of her snark to herself. Jane notices, and even tells her, "Say it, Daria! Whatever you're thinking, say it! Otherwise they can go on like this for HOURS!" When Daria still holds her thoughts to herself, Jane chimes in.
    Jesse: (about Trent) And this guy's not about selling out.
    Jane: Because for that to happen, someone would have to be interested in buying. (everyone looks at her) What? I had to pick up the slack!
  • At one point, stuck in traffic, the song "Everybody Hurts" is playing over the scene, ^note At least in the broadcast version. The song was changed for the DVD release due to copyright and licensing issues, and Trent even lampshades it by saying, "This is just like that R.E.M. video, except that you can't see what everyone is thinking." Cue a caption under Daria saying, "Thank God!"
• G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero: In the episode "Excalibur", after Spirit fixes Quick Kick's leg and the latter starts doing silly dancing in joy of his leg no longer be broken, Spirit thinks to himself that next time he'll fix his brain.
• South Park: In "I Should Never Have Gone Ziplining", Kyle forces a smile for the idiotic patrons on the tour. The narrator says he's thinking, "Dude, fuck you."

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