Barbie: Oh, Ken! We're mighty lost, and I'm awful scared!
Ken: Don't worry, Barbie! We've got Lucky here with us, and he's never let us down before.
Barbie: But Ken, we're never gonna make it up Horseback Mountain!
Ken: Of course we will! We just need to push through.
Barbie: You're right, there's nothing we can't do with a little hard work! C'mon Lucky, you're such a good boy.
Ken: Don't worry, Barbie! We've got Lucky here with us, and he's never let us down before.
Barbie: But Ken, we're never gonna make it up Horseback Mountain!
Ken: Of course we will! We just need to push through.
Barbie: You're right, there's nothing we can't do with a little hard work! C'mon Lucky, you're such a good boy.
Horseback Mountain is a 2017 Direct to Video fantasy movie starring Barbie Roberts, directed by Lisa Felicia, and written by Sam & Mickey. The video follows Barbie, her boyfriend Ken, and their horse Lucky on a search for the Elixir of Destiny. In order to scale Horseback Mountain, the trio will have to persevere through various mystical obstacles.
This So Bad, It's Good Cult Classic spawned the sequels Return to Horseback Mountain (2019) and Horseback Mountain Forever (TBA). Sam & Mickey documented the making of Horseback Mountain here
, and the making of Return to Horseback Mountain here.
Don't confuse this with the identically-named pornographic movie.
The Horseback Mountain series contains examples of:
- As Himself: Barbie and Ken play themselves, as in most of their movies.
- Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: Barbie and Ken fight six-foot Bjorks in Horseback Mountain.
- Contractual Obligation Project: Barbie only stars in these movies because her contract with Mattel requires it.
- Cool Horse: Lucky, the magical horse.
- Copycat Cover: The first movie's poster evokes Gone with the Wind.
- Determinator: Barbie and Ken, enforcing the movie's lesson to never give up.
- Directed by Cast Member: Barbie directed Return to Horseback Mountain, with Lisa Felicia demoted to the silent director.
- Dull Surprise: Barbie doesn't sound scared at all when telling Ken that Lucky got horse-napped. Several of her scenes in Return to Horseback Mountain sound similarly monotonous, but not all of them.
- Fastball Special: Barbie throws Lucky at the monster in the first movie.
- Forced Transformation: Return to Horseback Mountain reveals that the monster Barbie and Lucky fought in the first movie was a Gratuitous Princess cursed by the wizard Vladavoop.
- Gratuitous Rap: Ken drops a rap into a song Barbie sings to the princess in the second movie.
- Heal It with Water: The mythical waters of Tralala reverse Vladavoop's curse on the princess.
- Hostage Situation: In the first movie, Lucky gets horse-napped by a thief demanding Barbie's magical Tambourine of Fortitude in exchange.
- In Name Only: Return to Horseback Mountain doesn't have the same story as the fanfic Return to Horseback Mountain: An Erotic Thriller, by BMRob1959, which simply detailed a certain organ of Ken's.
- Killed Off for Real: In Return to Horseback Mountain, Lucky dies in a bubble bath, and not even the Tambourine of Fortitude can revive him.
- MacGuffin: The Elixir of Destiny.
- Magic Music: Barbie can cast spells by playing the Tambourine of Fortitude.
- Meaningful Name: Lucky can apparently withstand any trouble, and help Barbie and Ken do the same. Subverted when the second movie kills him off for real.
Ken: It's a lucky thing that we've got Lucky!
- Money, Dear Boy: Lisa Felicia only agreed to direct Return to Horseback Mountain so her family could have even more cash, while Barbie only starred so that Mattel wouldn't fire her from the company.
- Murder by Mistake: In Return to Horseback Mountain, the Tambourine of Fortitude protects Barbie from an attack by an alien from Ximxar, but Ken gets hit instead.
- Ominous Fog: One falls over the Kingdom of Driseldorf.
- Product Placement: Barbie boasts in Horseback Mountain that she and Ken can clear the Ominous Fog with their wits, their strengths, and her PayPal account.
- Scaling the Summit: Can Barbie and Ken make it to the top of Horseback Mountain?
- Signature Scene: Barbie's and Lucky's defeat of the monster in Horseback Mountain.
- Sudden Name Change: Barbie and Ken undergo this after freeing Princess Tralala from her curse, in a scene that plays as if the actors inexplicably switched roles.
- Suddenly Speaking: The monster speaks in the second movie, as a result of getting hit by Lucky.
- Took the Bad Film Seriously: Despite Barbie's Dull Surprise for Return to Horseback Mountain, she and Ken act the hell out of their apparent death scenes.
- Throw It In!: As a literal example, Barbie improvised the Fastball Special scene in Horseback Mountain.
- Title Drop: Barbie does this when admitting in the second movie, "I can't believe we've had to return to Horseback Mountain."
- Vindicated by History: Horseback Mountain only made $49 during its original theatrical release, but its Bile Fascination gradually earned it a larger following. When Mattel re-released it shortly before starting filming on Return to Horseback Mountain, several screenings sold out.
- Visible Boom Mic: One interrupts Return to Horseback Mountain at random intervals.
- You Meddling Kids: Lucky's horse-napper refers to Barbie and Ken as this in his letter to them.
