- Gib is one of the funniest sidekick characters ever in an action film.
Gib: Same thing happened to me with wife number two, remember? I have no idea nothing's going on, right? I come home one day and the house is empty, and I mean completely empty. She even took the ice cube trays out of the freezer. What kind of a sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?
- Where do we start with the shootout and first confrontation between Aziz and Harry?
- Aziz fires at Gib, whose only cover is a light post. He turns to hide behind it, and the bullets can clearly be seen striking both the post and the area around it, but somehow managed to miss Gib entirely despite the fact that he clearly sticks out from both the front and back.
- Gib's reaction: He feels up and down his body to make sure he hasn't been hit anywhere, ending with his crotch, before muttering "Oh thank God..."
- The poor old man caught in the middle of the bathroom shootout.
- Their vehicles for the subsequent chase: Aziz's motorcycle vs. Harry's commandeered police horse.
Federal officer in pursuit of suspect! (shoves mounted police officer off her horse and mounts up) Sorry. Harry: (gives directions to Gib to get backup to catch Aziz)
All right, and make it happen quick, because my horse is getting tired. Gib: (beat)
Your horse? Harry: (after the horse refuses to jump from one building to the next and Aziz escapes)
Now what the hell were you thinking? I mean, I had the guy, and you let him get away. (horse looks away; Harry pulls it back)
Look at me when I'm talking to you. What kind of a cop are you, anyway?
- By the way, that last scene merits a funny moment all its own. Aziz does a crazy stunt that involves leaping from skyscraper to skyscraper. Harry tries to follow, but that horse just isn't having it at all, and almost dumps him over the edge! You can just hear the horse thinking "are you CRAZY?!"
- Harry's conversation with the torturer.
Samir: Is there anything you'd like to tell me before we start?
Harry: Yeah; I'm going to kill you pretty soon.
Harry: First I'm going to use you as a human shield. Then I'm going to kill this guard over here with the Patterson trocar on the table. And then I was thinking about breaking your neck.
Samir: And what makes you think you can do all that?
Harry: You know my handcuffs?
Harry: *holds up his hands* I picked them.
- And before that, when the Truth Serum is starting to take effect:
Helen: So how do we know if it's working?
Harry: Ask me something I'd normally lie about.
Helen: Are we going to die?
Helen: I'd say it's working.
- Helen's first experience with a MAC-10. The recoil makes her lose control and drop the gun down the stairs...and it continues to fire, miraculously taking out every Mook in the room.
- Topped by the look of impressed astonishment and stunned disbelief on Harry's face after he surveys Helen's handiwork.
- As Helen is readying to shoot, Harry is busy struggling with another mook; when Helen's dropped gun starts to spray fire everywhere, Harry and the mook stop their fight and run for cover. On top of that, several mooks come around the corner, see the falling gun, and immediately try to run back (and get shot doing so).
- James Cameron: "Oh, yeah, she's got her head in the guy's lap all right. Yahoo."
Gib: Maybe she's sleepy.
- One of the terrorist mooks is filming Aziz making a speech about their jihad and the battery in the camera dies. The mook is terrified of what Aziz's reaction will be:
(mook nervously lowers camera and Aziz stops, throwing his hands up in a "What gives?" motion)
Mook: Battery, Aziz!
(There is dead silence as Aziz threateningly approaches him. And...)
Aziz: Get another one, you moron!
Mook: I think I have one—
Aziz: Shh! (raises silencing hand and shoos him away in annoyance)
Mook: ...in the truck. *runs*
- When Harry and Gib are listening to Simon bullshitting over the wiretap:
: It's the training. It shapes you into a lethal instrument. You react without thinking. Gib
: I'm starting to like this guy. (notices Harry's Death Glare
) Oh, we still gotta kill 'im. That's a given.
- Their reaction to Simon taking credit for what Harry did: they can't believe the gall of it and even Harry thinks it's Actually Pretty Funny: a scammer lying to his wife about what her husband did.
- The final line in the movie, after Gib is annoyed that Harry and Helen ignored him over the earpiece while on mission:
Gib: Y'know what? I'm sick of being in the van. You're going in the van next time. I've been in the van for fifteen years, Harry.
- Gib finally having enough of Simon annoying him and Harry, and starts casually shooting at his feet.
Gib: (bored tone) Get lost, dipshit.
- What makes this funnier is that Gib has been shown to be a sort of bumbling sidekick next to the awesome that is Schwarzenegger, but then he shoots at Simon and deliberately misses with such indifference you can tell he's really competent with a gun.
- Aziz fist pumping in celebration after apparently blowing up Harry with a rocket launcher.
- During the striptease scene, Harry has the taped dialogue asked Helen to dance. After she starts an out-of-place dance, the next message is "No no no, dance sexy." Harry correctly predicted she would dance like a goofball and pre-recorded dialogue to compensate for it.
- And then she loses her grip on the bedpost and does a faceplant, actually a genuine accident that was considered too hilarious not to use. Notice Arnold's reaction in the background.
- Towards the end, Harry tries to be romantic, but Helen has no idea it's him and decks him with the phone. After kicking him a couple times, she retains the presence of mind to complete her assigned mission, going back to plant the bug on the phone.
- "Where's the john? I have to take a major leak." (perfect Arabic)
- When Gib tries to hide a transcript detailing Helen meeting up with Simon, Harry yells "GIMME DAH GAHDDAMN PAGE!" and smashes a window with his fist. It's hilarious in its own right, but it's even funnier if you know the filming context like the striptease accident above: Arnold was supposed to hit a window rigged with safety glass, but broke a real window instead. Tom Arnold played it with the speechless reaction that the scene called for, but one would imagine part of it was also seeing his co-star breaking a car window for real with an Offhand Backhand.
- While Harry grills his wife from behind the one-way glass, Gib keeps interjecting.
Harry: Tell me about your husband, Mrs. Tasker.
Helen: Harry?? What can I say? I mean, he's a sales rep for a computer company.
Gib: So sex with him isn't exactly waving your flag any more?
Helen: That is none of your goddamn business! Now what kind of questions are these?!
Harry: You're in a lot of trouble, Mrs. Tasker, so I suggest you cooperate. If we want to know the most intimate details about your life, you'd better tell us.
Helen: My husband is a good man.
Gib: But he's not exactly ringing your bell lately, right?
(Harry covers the mic)
Harry: Let me handle this part, I mean, do you mind?
- When Aziz lays eyes on Harry in the harrier jet, the Big Bad pulls a "WTF?!?" expression for the ages.
- Surpassed by Harry finishing him off in a wonderfully, ludicrously over-the-top manner. We'll let Seanbaby elaborate:
"Due to the nature of evil, bad guys aren't always aware they're the bad guys. But let's say the very last of your friends are in a helicopter, it's hovering in front of Arnold's final missile, and your body is dangling from that missile. As you rocket towards hilariously impossible circumstances it'll probably hit you that shit like that never happens to the good guy."
- The chase over the bridge; one of the harrier pilots, before firing at the bridge to take out Aziz's convoy and prevent them reaching the mainland with the second nuke, asks if there is a danger that they might set off the warhead. Harry reassures the pilot that it won't go off...but then throws Gib a look as if to say, "How the hell do I know?!?"
- Juno's face when Helen decks Harry after he confessed he is a spy. She really enjoyed this moment!