Funny: True Grit
- The court scenes in both films.
- "It's a rat writ, writ for a rat..." It's kind of depressing that this monologue didn't make it into the sequel.
- Rooster's testimony in court.
- La Boeuf proves that you should never underestimate a Texan.
Rooster: Damn that Texan, when you need him, he's dead.La Boeuf: I ain't dead yet, you bushwhacker. Hang on.
- The moment quickly turns Tear Jerker shortly after.
- Mattie haggling with the Colonel. "Are we trading again?"
- Rooster's and LaBoeuf's shooting contest.
- The entire encounter with the Bear Man.
Rooster: You are not LaBoeuf.
- "...I do not know this man."
- Mattie's first encounter with LaBoeuf, which comes off a little uncomfortably at first and then quickly develops into a verbal fencing match in which the 14-year-old girl owns the Texas Ranger.
LaBoeuf: You give out very little sugar with your pronouncements. While I sat there watchin' I gave some thought to stealin' a kiss... though you are very young, and sick... and unattractive to boot. But now I have a mind to give you five or six good licks with my belt.Mattie: One would be just as unpleasant as the other.
Mattie: We have no rodeo clowns in Yell County.
- Her quip when he claims to have come from her hometown is pretty good, too:
- Rooster shoving 2 boys for beating a mule.
- The "goddamn ducks" at the store where Rooster sleeps.
- Mattie trying to talk to Rooster while he's in an outhouse.
- "If you would like to sleep in a coffin, it would be all right."
- The third man getting hanged who doesn't get to finish his speech before the bag is placed over his head.
"Before I am hanged, I would like to say—" (gets bagged)
- (Note: the third man is a Native American in the 1800s being hanged by white men in a U.S. town)
- An unlicensed subtitle track for the movie provides some great, though unintentional funny moments, mostly in its increasingly desperate attempts to transcribe Cogburn's brogue. It culminates with the parsing of his archetypal one-liner as "Feel your hand, you son of a bitch".
- Mattie finally encountering Tom Chaney starts off as this. After being told the night before that the trail is cold and Chaney is long gone, she bumps into him when she goes to get some water from a nearby stream. At first Chaney is confused as to why his old boss' daughter is all the way out here, and then is more befuddled than anything when she tells him she's going to bring him to justice. Then as Mattie pulls her gun on him, Chaney, with a look of extreme boredom, actually walks her through how to prime it for firing (complete with Mattie irritably telling him she knows). Then she actually shoots him and the recoil knocks her into the water. Chaney's more stunned than actually hurt than anything else!
Tom Chaney: You shot me! ...I did not think you would do it.
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