Funny: Tomorrow Never Dies

  • The beautifully snarky quip at the end of the pre-credits sequence.
    Bond: Iíve evacuated the area. Ask the admiral where he wants his bombs delivered.
  • The scene that introduces Carver and some his immoral practices. While this helps set up how horrible he is, he still manages to pull a case of him being a jerk actually being funny.
    Elliot Carver: Mr. Wallace, call the President. Tell him if he doesn't sign the bill lowering the cable rates, we will release the video of him with the cheerleader in the Chicago motel room.
    Mr. Wallace: Inspired, sir.
    Elliot Carver: And after he signs the bill, release the tape anyway.
    Mr. Wallace: Consider him slimed.
  • Moneypenny has been on the phone to Bond, while Bond is in the middle of having sex. She gets him to acknowledge that the situation is urgent enough to justify speedy sex, if not to abort it entirely, then hangs up, turns around and sees M standing there.
    Moneypenny: Don't ask.
    M: Don't tell.
  • Bond becomes uncomfortable when he learns that M and Moneypenny know all about his past sexual encounters. "I didn't know that was public knowledge."
  • In this scene, Q gives Bond literal Hero Insurance for his car!
    Q: Will you need collision coverage?
    Bond: Yes.
    Q: Fire?
    Bond: Probably.
    Q: Property destruction?
    Bond: Definitely.
    Q: Personal injury?
    Bond: I hope not, but accidents do happen.
    Q: They frequently do with you!
  • This exchange is pure comedic gold!
    Q: I thought you'd pay more attention to a female voice.
    Bond: I think we've met!
  • The car that can be remotely driven is comedy throughout.
    • When the car stops in front of Q and Bond, its engine almost makes a satisfied purring sound! Clearly Bond's sex appeal isn't limited to human females as the car does indeed respond positively to his touch.
    • With regards to his "bossy" car, Bond tells a valet at Carver's party, "Don't let her push you around."
    • When various henchmen try to break into Bond's car and get electrocuted and have sledgehammers bounce off.
    • "Reduce speed. Pedestrians in hallway." The "pedestrians" are Carver's goons who are trying to kill Bond.
    • "Warning. Unsafe driving will void warranty."
    • The look of unabashed glee on Bond's face as his BMW flies through the air and crash-lands into an Avis office, the same company he supposedly rented it from.
      • "Congratulations on a safe journey!"
      • There's a deleted scene where a group of rubberneckers have crowded around the crashed car. Bond walks through them and takes the keys from the wrecked car's ignition.
  • The expression on Bond's face when he's being chased by SMG-toting guards, and he sees Wai Lin waving at him as he draws off the men who'd normally be chasing after her.
  • Bond punches a henchman off a catwalk, and he falls into a printing press. "They'll print anything these days."
  • When Dr. Kaufman is ordered to torture Bond so that he'll reveal how to open the car, it immediately takes place after Kaufman has spelt out how he's going to kill Bond to make it look like a murder-suicide.
    Dr. Kaufmann: This is very embarrassing. It seems there is a red box they need in your car, only they can't get it open. They want me to get you to tell how to open it. I feel like an idiot, I don't know what to say.
  • Stamper speaking glowingly about Dr. Kaufman and his work with the worst kind of torture imaginable. Just the way he talks about him as though he were a great humanitarian is hilarious.
  • After Carver elaborates on how Bond will be tortured, Bond's witty reply is, "I would have thought watching your TV shows was torture enough." Wai Lin is barely able to conceal a chuckle.
  • Bond and Wai Lin squabbling over who gets to drive the motorcycle as they're escaping from Carver's mooks. For the "suave" Bond, Pierce Brosnan really know how to do hilariously bitchy arguing well.
  • Bond's suggestion that he write to the British and Chinese governments informing them of Carver's plans wins him an amused grin from Wai Lin when he sees that the computer terminal in the hidden armory is all in Chinese characters; he lets her do the typing.
  • When he inadvertently fiddles with the various gadgets stashed within Wai Lin's safehouse, many of them similar in nature to Q branch's many inventions, and yet Bond is somehow caught off guard by each one of them. He seems more amused than shocked by a couple of them, even cracking a pun at one or two, but when he accidentally sets off a flamethrower mounted in a dragon's head, he actually yelps in shock.
    Bond: [chuckling nervously] Very novel!
  • Carver making fun of Wai Lin's martial-arts skills with some Funny Bruce Lee Noises, even getting a fairly decent high-kick in. Just watch.
  • Carver finds out that Stamper has (yet again) failed to kill Bond.
    Carver: So much for German efficiency.