History Funny / TomorrowNeverDies

23rd Oct '17 2:29:47 PM Kalaong
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** The nonchalant shrug and smirk Bond gives at this point makes one think he knows how the next twenty minutes are going to go, as the majority of his Q gadgets for this film involve said car. Starting with how it's unlocked - his gadget-laden cell-phone. Instead of telling Kaufman the code to unlock the car, Bond tells him the code which activates the built-in ''taser.'' '''ZAP'''

to:

** The nonchalant shrug and smirk Bond gives at this point makes one think he knows how the next twenty ten minutes are going to go, as the majority of his Q gadgets for this film involve said car. Starting with how it's unlocked - his gadget-laden cell-phone. Instead of telling Kaufman the code to unlock the car, Bond tells him the code which activates the built-in ''taser.'' '''ZAP'''
23rd Oct '17 2:28:07 PM Kalaong
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'''Bond''': Yes.\\
'''Q''': Fire?\\
'''Bond''': Probably. \\
'''Q''': Property destruction?\\
'''Bond''': Definitely.\\
'''Q''': Personal injury?\\
'''Bond''': I hope not, but accidents do happen.\\
'''Q''': They frequently do with you!

to:

'''Bond''': '''James Bond:''' Yes.\\
'''Q''': '''Q:''' ''[stares at Bond]'' Fire?\\
'''Bond''': Probably. \\
'''Q''': Property destruction?\\
'''Bond''': Definitely.
'''James Bond:''' Probably.\\
'''Q''': '''Q:''' Property destruction?\\
'''James Bond:''' [[KungShui Definitely.]]\\
'''Q:'''
Personal injury?\\
'''Bond''':
Injury?\\
'''James Bond:'''
I hope not, but accidents do happen.\\
'''Q''': '''Q:''' They frequently do with you!you.\\
'''James Bond:''' ''[signs the form]'' Well, that takes care of the "normal" wear and tear. Is there any other protection I need?\\
'''Q:''' Only from ''me'', 007, unless you bring that car back in pristine order.
16th Oct '17 7:40:08 PM Kalaong
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--> '''Mr. Wallace''': Inspired, sir.
--> '''Elliot Carver''': And after he signs the bill, release the tape anyway.
--> '''Mr. Wallace:''' Consider him slimed.

to:

--> '''Mr. Wallace''': Inspired, sir.
-->
sir.\\
'''Elliot Carver''': And after he signs the bill, release the tape anyway.
-->
anyway.\\
'''Mr. Wallace:''' Consider him slimed.



-->'''Moneypenny:''' Don't ask.
-->'''M:''' Don't tell.

to:

-->'''Moneypenny:''' Don't ask.
-->'''M:'''
ask.\\
'''M:'''
Don't tell.



-->'''Q''': Will you need collision coverage?
-->'''Bond''': Yes.
-->'''Q''': Fire?
-->'''Bond''': Probably.
-->'''Q''': Property destruction?
-->'''Bond''': Definitely.
-->'''Q''': Personal injury?
-->'''Bond''': I hope not, but accidents do happen.
-->'''Q''': They frequently do with you!

to:

-->'''Q''': Will you need collision coverage?
-->'''Bond''': Yes.
-->'''Q''': Fire?
-->'''Bond''': Probably.
-->'''Q''':
coverage?\\
'''Bond''': Yes.\\
'''Q''': Fire?\\
'''Bond''': Probably. \\
'''Q''':
Property destruction?
-->'''Bond''': Definitely.
-->'''Q''':
destruction?\\
'''Bond''': Definitely.\\
'''Q''':
Personal injury?
-->'''Bond''':
injury?\\
'''Bond''':
I hope not, but accidents do happen.
-->'''Q''':
happen.\\
'''Q''':
They frequently do with you!



** ...aaand segue into the big ChaseScene, which is equal parts awesome and hilarious.

to:

** ...aaand segue into the big ChaseScene, which is equal parts awesome and hilarious.hilarious - [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKAME9fAA-4 Especially because Bond is controlling the car via his cell-phone the entire time.]]
** "Welcome. Please fasten seat belt." Said as Bond has just remotely opened one of the rear windows and dived into the backseat.



** "Reduce speed. Pedestrians in hallway." The "pedestrians" are Carver's goons who are trying to kill Bond.
** Bond's reaction to the reinflating tires seems to suggest that he is well aware of how utterly kick-ass this whole thing is.

to:

** "Reduce speed. Pedestrians in hallway.roadway." The "pedestrians" are Carver's goons who are trying to kill Bond.
** "Obstruction ahead. Reduce speed ''now.''" This is the only advice Bond even ''partially'' listens to, specifically because the "obstruction" is a door that somehow shrugs off the car's built-in rockets.
** Bond's reaction to the reinflating re-inflating tires seems to suggest that he is well aware of how utterly kick-ass this whole thing is.
4th Oct '17 12:56:35 PM Hallwings
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Added DiffLines:

** Even funnier, Mr. Wallace was played by Bond producer Michael Wilson, in his obligatory CreatorCameo.
22nd Aug '17 4:34:50 AM Hawaii_Knut
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* Carver making fun of Wai Lin's martial-arts skills with some FunnyBruceLeeNoises, even getting a fairly decent high-kick in. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwNej77PVLI Just watch.]]

to:

* Carver making fun of Wai Lin's martial-arts skills with some FunnyBruceLeeNoises, even getting a fairly decent high-kick in. [[http://www.[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwNej77PVLI com/watch?v=2jGNxTyVH7c Just watch.]]
14th Aug '17 8:19:23 PM cg12345
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-->'''Carver''': So much for [[GermanicEfficiency German efficiency]].

to:

-->'''Carver''': So much for [[GermanicEfficiency German efficiency]].efficiency]].
* The SnarkToSnarkCombat at the party in Hamburg. Bond's met Carver for all of thirty seconds before he starts trolling him with how much he knows about his EvilPlan.
12th Jun '17 5:01:49 AM Kalaong
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* The car that can be remotely driven is comedy throughout.
** When the car stops in front of Q and Bond, its engine almost makes a satisfied purring sound! Clearly Bond's sex appeal isn't limited to human females as the car does indeed [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything respond positively to his touch]].
** With regards to his "bossy" car, Bond tells a valet at Carver's party, "Don't let her push you around."
** When various henchmen try to break into Bond's car and get electrocuted and have sledgehammers bounce off.
** "Reduce speed. Pedestrians in hallway." The "pedestrians" are Carver's goons who are trying to kill Bond.
** "Warning. Unsafe driving will void warranty."
** The look of unabashed glee on Bond's face as his BMW flies through the air and crash-lands into an Avis office, the same company he supposedly rented it from.
*** "Congratulations on [[BlatantLies a safe journey]]!"
*** There's a deleted scene where a group of rubberneckers have crowded around the crashed car. Bond walks through them and tells the Avis agents that the keys are still in the car.
** Bond's reaction to the reinflating tires seems to suggest that he is well aware of how utterly kick-ass this whole thing is.
** Bond has an OhCrap moment when a goon is about to shoot his car with a rocket-propelled grenade... But then, because the BMW already has its windscreen and rear window broken, the grenade shoots through his car just fine, exploding instead at the chase car behind the BMW. Bond's face pretty much says this: Well, that works, too.

to:

* The ** Aaand then we see the car that can be remotely driven is comedy throughout.
**
itself; When the car stops in front of Q and Bond, its engine almost makes a satisfied purring sound! Clearly Bond's sex appeal isn't limited to human females as the car does indeed [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything respond positively to his touch]].
**
touch]]. With regards to his "bossy" car, Bond later tells a valet at Carver's party, "Don't let her push you around."
** When various henchmen try to break into Bond's car and get electrocuted and have sledgehammers bounce off.
** "Reduce speed. Pedestrians in hallway." The "pedestrians" are Carver's goons who are trying to kill Bond.
** "Warning. Unsafe driving will void warranty."
** The look of unabashed glee on Bond's face as his BMW flies through the air and crash-lands into an Avis office, the same company he supposedly rented it from.
*** "Congratulations on [[BlatantLies a safe journey]]!"
*** There's a deleted scene where a group of rubberneckers have crowded around the crashed car. Bond walks through them and tells the Avis agents that the keys are still in the car.
** Bond's reaction to the reinflating tires seems to suggest that he is well aware of how utterly kick-ass this whole thing is.
** Bond has an OhCrap moment when a goon is about to shoot his car with a rocket-propelled grenade... But then, because the BMW already has its windscreen and rear window broken, the grenade shoots through his car just fine, exploding instead at the chase car behind the BMW. Bond's face pretty much says this: Well, that works, too.
"



* When Dr. Kaufman is ordered to torture Bond so that he'll reveal how to open the car, it immediately takes place after Kaufman has spelt out how he's going to kill Bond to make it look like a murder-suicide.
-->'''Dr. Kaufman''': This is ''very'' embarrassing. It seems there is a red box they need in your car, only they can't get it open. They want me to get you to tell them how to open it. I feel like an idiot, I don't know what to say!

to:

* When various henchmen try to break into Bond's car, sledgehammers bounce off its armor and jamming things in the handles and gaps electrocutes the mooks. As a result, they call Dr. Kaufman is ordered to torture Bond so that he'll reveal how to open the car, it immediately takes place after Kaufman - who has spelt just finished spelling out how he's going to kill Bond to make it look like a murder-suicide.
murder-suicide - and order him to torture Bond into unlocking it.
-->'''Dr. Kaufman''': This is ''very'' embarrassing. It seems there is a red box they need in your car, only they car. They can't get it open. to it. ''[[ICantBelieveImSayingThis They want me to get make you to tell them how to open it. unlock the car]].'' I feel like an idiot, idiot. I don't know what to say!say.
** The nonchalant shrug and smirk Bond gives at this point makes one think he knows how the next twenty minutes are going to go, as the majority of his Q gadgets for this film involve said car. Starting with how it's unlocked - his gadget-laden cell-phone. Instead of telling Kaufman the code to unlock the car, Bond tells him the code which activates the built-in ''taser.'' '''ZAP'''
** ...aaand segue into the big ChaseScene, which is equal parts awesome and hilarious.
** "Warning. Unsafe driving will void warranty." Said as Bond is smashing through barricades and swerving around explosions.
** "Reduce speed. Pedestrians in hallway." The "pedestrians" are Carver's goons who are trying to kill Bond.
** Bond's reaction to the reinflating tires seems to suggest that he is well aware of how utterly kick-ass this whole thing is.
** Bond has an OhCrap moment when a goon is about to shoot his car with a rocket-propelled grenade... But then, because the BMW already has its windscreen and rear window broken, the grenade shoots through his car just fine, exploding instead at the chase car behind the BMW. Bond's face pretty much says this: Well, that works, too.
** The look of unabashed glee on Bond's face as his BMW flies through the air and crash-lands into an Avis office, the same company he supposedly rented it from.
*** "Congratulations on [[BlatantLies a safe journey]]!"
*** There's a deleted scene where a group of rubberneckers have crowded around the crashed car. Bond walks through them and tells the Avis agents that the keys are still in the car.
31st Dec '16 1:12:51 AM TheRarispy
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-->'''Dr. Kaufman''': This is ''very'' embarrassing. It seems there is a red box they need in your car, only they can't get it open. They want me to get you to tell how to open it. I feel like an idiot, I don't know what to say!

to:

-->'''Dr. Kaufman''': This is ''very'' embarrassing. It seems there is a red box they need in your car, only they can't get it open. They want me to get you to tell them how to open it. I feel like an idiot, I don't know what to say!
3rd Dec '16 8:59:15 AM outlander2012
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Added DiffLines:

* The OhCrap reaction of Wade and the U.S. military personnel when they realise they're dropping Bond in equipment festooned with U.S. government markings into what is technically Vietnamese territorial waters.
10th Aug '16 9:08:05 PM TheRoguePenguin
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Added DiffLines:

* When Bond and Wade are getting the stolen GPS unit checked out, Bond and Wade share a silent look about their chosen attire (Bond is dressed as a formal military officer, Wade is in casual attire wearing a Hawaiian shirt). Wade lamely straightens his shirt in an effort to make himself look better.
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.TomorrowNeverDies